What bothers me most is not one day I am fine, another day I end up with a scar on my brow. What bothers me most is that I do not recall how it happened.
I was on a bicycle in the early Saturday morning. I must have been cycling pretty fast because when I collected my bicycle from the security guards who cared for me before the ambulance arrived, it was in the lowest gear (or was I really cycling fast at the moment of the accident?). The bicycle looks okay. In fact, while my face took the most hit, my body besides a few minor scratches with a bit of soreness was okay too.
But how?
If I were to fall off at a high speed, I would have ended up with some nasty scratches on my exposed arms and legs. According to eyewitnesses, I hit a pillar. But how? Wouldn’t the bicycle take the first hit? Wouldn’t I have hit my back while falling down? I was wearing a helmet. How would my eye get hit so badly?
I said I was being assaulted. But no one believes me.
I am a massive fan of anything dinosaur. It is fascinating that creatures so giant and out-of-the-world looking existed for hundreds of millions of years in the past, we now get a glimpse of what some of them look like. I recalled years ago I read an online article that one British museum would exhibit dinosaur fossils, I had made a commitment to revisit the UK one day, which I did before the pandemic.
You know that feeling when you feel like you are drifting, not in control of where you are heading? You want to be grounded with something, just anything. But the sense of uncertainty is overwhelming you. That paralyzed feeling. You sleep, wake up, take a nap, and soon sleep again. How many days? How many days more?
I am dying to tell this to the world. But I can’t. Because I need this to happen first, then that to happen, and then …
But when?
At work, I thrive in crises. I love the firefighting, getting that high feeling. But when the work I do is in constant crisis and will be so for the next six months, one year, it isn’t a crisis anymore. Just business as usual. Our COO rallied the people today to charge forward. I admire his tenacity. In my mind, I thought of something I have learned two decades ago …
A death march.
Inflation. Rising interest rate. Looming recession. Ongoing pandemic. That war desperately needs a conclusion. US versus China. A retirement plan that already requires reassessment, is put at risk. Our world is full of surprises. Where is hope?
I love painting but don’t feel like painting these days. I love making music but don’t feel like creating music these days. I love video gaming but nothing really excites me these days.
Gosh. I need to move on. You need to move on. Why? So that we can move forward.
I am glad that I have bought a new iPhone. At least, I love photography and I am trying to take some pictures every day.
And oh. Yes, I love to blog. Still do. An overdue rekindled passion.
I love the outdoor staircases. The old versus new structure. A photo taken near my home.
I knew the actress looks familiar when I watched Finding Mr. Right on Netflix tonight. It was none other than Tang Wei. I watched Lust, Caution back in 2007, right after I joined a bank – my current employer. Also roughly the year I met April whom I have met once again tonight through a bank event.
What a coincidence.
Find Mr. Right is an amazing Chinese movie inspired by I supposed Sleepless in Seatle. But it’s way better.
What a great movie. Such chemistry.
A Chinese mistress who has decided to give birth to her son in the US – because she couldn’t have done so in China – fell in love with her driver who is a divorcee with a daughter. What a great recipe for a story. I was genuinely moved. Tang Wei is such a great actress. She doesn’t age at all. She is timeless.
Back to this evening. I have attended yet another event organized by my bank. Yet another talk on recession and rising interest rates. I didn’t manage to meet my relationship manager. But I am thankful for yet another nice meal at a hotel.
If I am to sum up the evening, it is about reducing expenses and grow income.
Motherhood statement eh?
Back to April, as it turns out, she recognized me before I do. She prides herself on having a “face recognition” ability. I don’t dispute that. I am terrible at recognizing faces or names.
April arrived late. And immediately upon being seated, she struck up a conversation with me. 15 years I have been with this bank, she brought back all the fond memories and the painful ones. Not exactly remember what she did. But I do remember her being in her black dresses.
But hey, we age. Though she said I didn’t.
Cosmetic.
In the end, memories keep flooding in. Yes, I do remember.
We made fun of April. She does have a sister called May, doesn’t she?! In fact, I remember she has two sisters. April, May, June …
Let’s talk about some of the “longer” videos I have watched on YouTube of late.
Ironically, while I am a YouTube content creator who tends to live stream and create rather long videos of more than an hour each, I seldom spend the same amount of time watching YouTube videos. I could argue that if I do, I would have no time to create content.
YouTube video title: AIMI KOBAYASHI – final round (18th Chopin Competition, Warsaw)
I have watched the 45 minutes long video of a Chopin Competition on YouTube. It was a Concerto in E minor, Op. 11. To be frank, I am more familiar with Beethoven and Mozart. I enjoy listening to a piano concerto – or violin concerto for that matter. But my head just doesn’t seem to be able to wrap around Chopin.
Aimi Kobayashi is a Japanese pianist with a small frame. I observed that perhaps as a ritual, she would arrange her pendant at the beginning of each movement. To ensure that the musical note was facing the front. She has this very intense look while playing the piano. Almost uncomfortable to watch. I felt as though my face cringed watching her playing the piano. Chopin doesn’t talk to me. Listening to his music through Aimi, Op. 11 must have been a very painful piece of music.
I can’t really tell how great the performance was. Reading some of the comments, Aimi has taken the liberty to slow down the music and interpret it the way she wanted to tell her story (slow pain, perhaps). Some commented that this must have put her in the fourth position rather than higher. Again, I am no expert. I was used to having different Swan Lake CDs and each has its own pace. She must have had such high confidence whereby she didn’t even need the musical scores in front of her. That was the very first thing I noticed when she sat in front of the piano, even before she performed. I often visualize myself in the performer’s shoes when I watch a live recording.
Another video I watched was titled “Russell Peters | Notorious Full Special” (70 mins). It was recorded in Australia in 2013 in front of 14,000 fans. What a huge turnout! These days, I love standup comedies. These comedians have special skills. Some like Russell Peters are able to interact with the crowd and crack jokes on the fly.
But that’s not what I am trying to say in this post. In that video, Russell made some jokes about tattoos (and how people would regret having them). This evening, it was raining. Not too heavy to the point whereby I couldn’t go out. But it wasn’t too light either. Yet, I saw many people walking outdoors without umbrellas.
When I arrived at the nearest food center, I ordered QQ la mien set that came with four dumplings and a small bowl of soup. Somehow, on a rainy day, I craved that.
Opposite me was a Chinese man of a very large size. His thigh was as big if not bigger than my waist. He wore no expression eating his chicken chop and chips quietly. Underneath his right forearm, there were very large English words saying “Good Boy”. I recalled Russell Peters’s video on tattoos and I was quietly giggling inside. As I was wondering why a Chinese man of his size would tattoo “Good Boy” on his arm, I saw more English words on his left forearm. I couldn’t see very clearly at first. But I could guess that must be “Bad Boy”.
What a bizarre pair of tattoos. Maybe he is forever torn between good and evil.
Shortly after I have started eating my dinner, I saw this girl who worked at the stall nearby. She was also of a larger frame compared to her other colleague although nothing compared to Good-boy-bad-boy. She kept on hitting his arm hard. I mean, that looked like real punches. Good-boy-bad-boy was emotionlessly still. The girl seemed to be playful with him. Hitting him. Touching his phone (he was watching something I would presume). They could be …
Siblings?
And then I recalled, this Good-boy-bad-boy is actually the chef at the mixed rice stall! I vividly remember how impressed I was when I saw him cook the dishes. When I cook Chinese dishes, I cook for 1 or 2 potions. When he cooks, he cooks for I reckon 50 to 100 potions at a time. That is some mad skill and strength. He did it with such dexterity and speed. It was fun to watch.
Looking back, I don’t think that they are siblings. Maybe the girl likes to bully him. Maybe he is a teddy bear at heart despite his size and his good-boy-bad-boy tattoos.
When iPhone pro series first announced, I followed some of the influencers on YouTube wanting to hear their views. After all they are the Apple “experts”. To my horror, some would suggest turning off always on feature because … they can’t tell if they have locked the phone?! That’s the strangest thing I have seen, coming from Android whereby the premium phones have this feature years ago.
I like always on. I can tell the time and see the notifications without tapping onto the screen. What’s not to like? Just that Apple’s implementation is quite different from say Samsung’s. It seems less minimalistic and more elaborate. I have no idea how Apple manage to find the extra battery to power the always on display. I certainly prefer it on.
Testing the iPhone 14 pro max x3 camera.
Prior to getting my hands on with the phone, I was rather intrigued by “dynamic island”. In reality though, I don’t find dynamic island in any of the iPhone setting. I hardly interact with it and very few occasions I see it in action. Spotify and WhatsApp calls. That’s about it.
I do like iPhone speakers though. How do they make it so good?
As someone who has used Android phones for 12 years, switching to iOS is quite an experienced. iPhone as an hardware is pretty expensive compared to Android phones. But as I’ve mentioned in my previous post, Android comes with its baggage. Cost aside, how do you put a price tag on a photo like the one below?
Bailey loves attentions.
Once DHL Express dropped the new iPhone to my doorstep, I visited the nearest authorised Apple Store to install a screen protector. I have already ordered a case from Casetify a while back. I am ready for action!
The initial set up is easy. Reinstalling apps is also straightforward. The painful part is to log into all the apps with different user ids passwords. Some apps I couldn’t remember the user ids as it could be my email address or my mobile number or even Google id. Someone smart would need to think of a way to solve this ’world’ problem.
After all the hassles, when I finally got my new phone to a MVP, I discovered that WhatsApp doesn’t readily share the Android backup with Apple’s! I have to reset my new phone and use the Move to iOS app to migrate the chat. At that point, I’ve decided to just forgo what I had and start anew. WhatsApp may one day shutdown. It is better to be less reliance on these free services.
It takes me a while to get used to how iOS works. Swiping seems intuitive and I think in due course, I will get the hang of it. I can’t wait to do some camera testing and that’s the story for another day! Stay tuned.
PS. What’s up with the double spacing that I have to manually delete while writing this post on my iPhone?! It is either the Apple default keyboard or Safari browser or both.
I am a gamer at heart. When I was a young boy – early teen – my dad got me into video gaming. For more than three decades, I have never looked back. I played so many video games that I initially created my own YouTube channel as a social experiment. But it turns out to be a hobby. My creative outlet. A unique way to connect with like-minded people.
Inevitably, some would ask, if I would have to create a video game, what would that be?
Before I answer that question, I would like to share with you a design philosophy behind a game called Risk of Rain. It goes something like …
Design a game that is randomly generated every play-through, to keep replayability high and fresh.
Time = difficulty. The higher the in-game time gets, the harder the difficulty gets. Keeping a sense of urgency keeps the game exciting!
Be enjoyable, regardless of whether you win or lose. No more fussing with complex and non-intuitive gameplay patterns. Players should not blame the game for their loss!
Personally, I thought it was really cool, pretty close to what I would envisage the design of my own game be.
Having said that, I would take it further.
The graphic doesn’t define a game. Game-play does.
There has to be an element of randomness. Better still, user-created content.
It has got to be easy to pick up, and challenging to master. Way too many games that have no depth or a few rare gems that are challenging to master, but way too difficult to pick up. We are humans. Most give up easily.
Sandbox or a good degree of freedom to achieve user-defined goals is important. Being too prescriptive can be perceived as linear. Life is a journey. Let gamers play the game they enjoy playing.
There should be a good balance of quick wins versus time-invested rewards. We love it rough. But not all the time. There must be an alternative path to the same goal.
Revival is key. Stagnancy is the culprit of a game on the decline. Fresh content. Change of meta. People need to keep playing, for good reason.
I am speechless. Bailey did it again. It must be me.
I took Bailey to meet Axel, my friend’s puppy.
As the story goes, my friend, SF, needed Bailey to help lead Axel to a street he always fears of. Also, it has been a while since Axel met Bailey.
After work at six, I took Bailey into the car and drove to SF’s place nearby. As before, I walked Bailey to the slopy green field next door after parking the car. Axel arrived shortly and in some strange ways, the two didn’t really play much with each other. After some warm-up, Bailey was able to lead Axel into an area Axel fears visiting (for what reasons, I cannot fathom).
SF and I walked along the river, let our dogs socialize with other dogs. SF picked a restaurant and we tied our dogs to a tree. All was well until …
“Your dog,” said SF.
From where we sat, with the plants blocking the view, I couldn’t really see our dogs. When I heard SF saying that, I looked straight and saw a scene I could not comprehend.
I saw Bailey, looking at me, with his tongue stuck out, without a harness, without a leash …
… I quickly stood up and called Bailey. By then, he turned and ran. So fast around the playground, dashing from dogs to dogs. I forgot where my mask was (around my neck), I was doing my best to chase after him. It was dark, in the evening. The very scene reminded me of that memorable morning when Bailey broke off his leash and ran amok in a park.
Bailey was too fast. I couldn’t catch him. I tried and fell onto the concrete ground (fortunately, this time, I did not injure myself). One dog owner, an Indian lady, tried to lure Bailey with a bag of treats. It wasn’t that successful as Bailey was going crazy with her dog and I could tell that she was quite frightful of Bailey.
I don’t blame her.
Anyways, she passed me her bag of treats and asked me to get Bailey’s attention. It worked, in front of a very big crowd, I hugged Bailey firm across his chest, not letting go. SF came by with the harness. I was so thankful that I did not lose Bailey this evening.
Under the same roof, we have Cynthia and me and a dog named Bailey. In Bailey’s eyes, it is without a doubt that I am not the dog owner. So when Cynthia has to return to Indonesia due to a family emergency for 14 days, I knew I was in for an unforgettable adventure.
Chinese New Year and Bailey’s Instagram account managed by Cynthia needed a photo. So I took one on her behalf. Photo taken with Nikon Z6.
Oh My Routines!
Most people whom I talk to would not truly relate to what “dogs need routines” mean. They would go, uh-huh, so what?
Well, dogs need routines. In Bailey’s case, since he doesn’t like to pee or poop at home (and therefore, no way to even train him to do so), he has to take his walk in the morning at 7-ish.
Every day.
Rain or shine.
In sickness (of the owner or the dog-sitter) and in health.
That alone is a pretty big commitment if you chew on it.
To make sure that he has his morning walk without fail, he would bark in the morning as a friendly reminder. I try not to respond to his barking immediately. That would reinforce his behavior thinking that barking equates to a voice-controlled door that opens when he barks.
At times, he would bark before 7 in the morning because he heard other dogs bark on the street (dogs’ roll call, as some may say).
I am not someone who wakes up early in the morning. Having to dog-sit Bailey for 2 weeks temporarily made me one.
Then he needs to be fed at 8 am. A bit of playtime and cuddle moments in between his naps. Between 5 to 6 pm, Bailey would expect his evening walk. At times I walked him in the neighborhood. If there isn’t much rain, I would take him to a dog run nearby so that he can run freely, without a leash. If I have the time and energy, I would take him out somewhere further with a car. Before midnight, he would need another short walk to, again, pee and poop.
3 walks. 3 pee and poop sessions. From 7 am to midnight.
Despite our differences, we had a good time. Photos taken with a phone.
That Walking Feeling Is, I Believe, Mutual
It is obvious that Bailey doesn’t enjoy walking with me and the feeling is mutual. The constant pulling. The ongoing picking up of rubbish to swallow and the refusal to obey my “leave it” command. Zero to little engagement even as I bring along treats. Sudden jump onto random pedestrians (one morning I had to apologize to what seemed like ten people of which, one jogger nearly fell onto the ground as Bailey made an attempt to jump onto her). Towards the end of the walk, Bailey would refuse to budge. He wanted more walking and more socialization with other dogs. To me, once I have collected his poop, the walk was done. Obviously, we were in constant disagreement.
According to Cynthia though, Bailey doesn’t behave like that. Hence, it must be just me and him. The feeling is mutual.
What Recall?
This is partially my fault. It was the Chinese New Year holiday period. My condo was quiet in the early evening. I have decided to walk Bailey up the stairs. Since he was so much faster than me, I took off the leash and let him run ahead. At the top of the stairs is a link bridge. From a distance, I saw a small dog with its owner.
Uh-oh.
I quickly ran to Bailey trying to catch him. He also saw the dog and he quickly ran to the dog with overwhelming enthusiasm (which, unfortunately, the dog owner with colored hair saw as aggression). Bailey outran me, of course. I tried calling him back. But my recall failed.
Looking back, I am still unsure if that dog owner was traumatized by a charging dog from behind or I, the dog-sitter was traumatized by Bailey’s behavior. I apologized, in a weaker voice than usual, and quickly removed Bailey from the crime scene.
To have a reliable recall, there must be a higher value than what distracted the dog in the first place. Unfortunately, neither my praises nor my treats work.
Prey Drive Not The Same As Aggression
Unless you have a dog that has a certain degree of prey drive (and hence read more into it), most people would think a dog is aggressive when they go after other dogs – especially smaller ones – or small animals with such vigor.
In short, prey drive is an instinctive behavior. Aggression is associated with emotions such as fear. They are different. It is easier to correct or subdue prey drive than aggression. Because in the latter case, you would need to resolve the emotional issue first.
Bailey has a medium prey drive. He likes stalking smaller animals and he likes to chase after them. He doesn’t hurt and he doesn’t kill.
I thought it was a good idea to bring him to Botanic Garden. Poor Bailey saw all the chickens roaming freely in the garden but could not give a good chase. He must have been feeling frustrated. Poor me with my arm ached from all the pulling. No, it wasn’t a good idea.
A tired dog is a happy dog. Bailey loves excursions. A successful one is the one that Bailey would sleep in the car. Photo taken with a phone.
Big Brother Role
My friend SF brought home a 5-month old Golden Retriever named Axel a couple of weeks ago. I was with my friend the day she brought him home (she lives alone and needed help). Axel is different from Bailey. He is shyer and he needs a lot of encouragement to even step out of the house. And when he does, he prefers to stick to the green field right next to the apartment not wanting to go further. So we thought, why not bring Bailey and see if he can ‘pack-lead’ Axel?
Bailey and I arrived early and we were playing at the green field next to my friend’s apartment. Shortly, Axel and SF joined us. I did my best to tone down Bailey’s enthusiasm. And it worked. I am pleased.
Bailey and Axel play well with each other. Photo taken with a phone.
As we led our dogs out of the green field, I noticed that Axel refused to move. In fact, he seemed disturbed by loud noises such as cars and motorcycles. He looked frightened.
SF tried to use kibbles as an incentive to get Axel to move one meter by one meter. Unfortunately, that also attracted a lot of Bailey’s attention as Bailey is highly food motivated.
That didn’t work. After barely moving for 20 meters, I suggested to SF not to use kibbles. Just let Bailey does his job.
True enough, Bailey walked in front – like he always does when walking with me unless he is really tired – Axel followed. What a beautiful sight to behold! Once Bailey realized that we were in a pack, he constantly checked back at us. I thought that was pretty cool.
Good job, Bailey!
Bailey Met His Nemesis
Only when you are a dog would you understand the draw of a dog run or a dog park.
I like bringing Bailey to a dog run. He can go unleashed. I don’t have to deal with the pulling. It is a good way to burn down his energy. He loves it. I love it. It is a win-win.
Walking to the dog run is often a challenge for me. He is constantly distracted by other dogs on the street, constantly distracted by the rubbish on the ground (even kibbles for cats). But as we approach the dog run, the scent of other dogs – whether present or not (as dogs leave marks or pee mails) – grows. Bailey would pull stronger and stronger until he totally forgot about me.
One day, like any other day, I would command Bailey to sit between the double gates, calm himself down, before letting him into the dog run. On this particular day though, even as I opened the inner gate, Bailey ran back to the outer gate instead, not wanting to enter.
I was puzzled. As it turned out, he was not pleased with two of the dogs inside. One of them had injured him in the past. Bailey would stand near the gate not wanting to play with his other friends. Although to him – and I know – I am merely a vending machine for food and drink, my pawrent instinct kicked in. I took Bailey to a far corner and played fetch with him, keeping an eye on the whereabouts of the two dogs. I just don’t like how they play with Bailey. No means no.
I rarely see Bailey burying his face into the curtain. Kind of cute I must say. Photo taken with a phone.
Jogging & Bailey Took the Blame
Bailey and I played fetch when we were inside a dog run. That is one good way to burn down his energy. Outside the dog run though, he needs to be on a leash. To achieve a similar outcome, I would prefer jogging.
It is rather fun jogging with Bailey. It is a mix of a slow jog, sprint, and sudden stop.
I enjoy walking Bailey on a rainy day. Because most dog owners would not prefer to walk their dogs in light rain or on wet ground. I like it because lesser distraction means lesser pulling.
Anyhow, one morning, I was jogging with Bailey in a park. As I turned into the park, I stepped onto a wet metal grid on the ground. It was slippery and I fell on my butt. My right forearm was scratched. My palms were bruised. I had minor bleeding here and there. One stranger asked if I was okay. She thought I fell because Bailey was pulling.
While yes, Bailey was ahead of me, it was totally my fault.
A Park Full Of People Thought I Did The Unthinkable!
Here in Singapore, we are not allowed to unleash our dogs in public, except dog runs or dog parks. It was in the early morning. The weather was lovely. One-third of the park was occupied by elderly dressed in uniform standing one meter apart exercising with music played in the background. Some rested by the benches. Others took a stroll on the pavement. In the middle of the park, there was a large patch of green grass. Ginger, the Singapore Special (an actual local breed name) was with her owner’s helper.
Ginger is a rather unique dog. Inside a dog run, she would observe other dogs and play with a selected few. Bailey is among the ones she called friends.
With a leash though, Ginger behaves rather differently. She would still play but when she becomes frustrated (I would presume with the leash), she would bite her own tail.
Back to that one fateful morning, Bailey was playing with Ginger. It went well until he pulled too hard. The leash broke!
All hell broke loose.
Imagine a fast-running dog, unleashed, dashing across the park. Everyone was looking at me running like a mad man trying to catch Bailey. They probably thought that I was the one who unleash the dog in public, the irresponsible one who jeopardize everyone in the park.
Bailey, predictably so, ran back to Ginger. I tried to catch him but I failed. He ran away.
In his second rendezvous, I made a mental commitment. I had to catch Bailey. I threw my body onto him, grabbed him with a good and firm hug, rolled onto the wet grass that I know, and everyone knows, is soaked with dog pee. The helper asked if I needed to borrow her spare leash. I politely declined, tied the broken leash onto his harness, took him home and have the leash replaced, and brought him down in time for the “school bus” that transported him to the dog school.
Till today, I am still keeping the broken leash just in case someone that day took a video and sent it to the police. I swear. I am innocent.
What Else?
One fine day, Bailey has destroyed or shredded my T-shirt in the morning and the floor mat at night. On the other day, he has destroyed his bed made of canvas, shredded a hole in the middle. I tried to brush his teeth every night. It was an interesting experience having my fingers right inside his jaws. I have risked losing my fingers trying to stop him from eating a discarded chicken drumstick in bone (and I succeeded). While some dog owners may frown upon him thinking that Bailey is too aggressive, it was heartwarming to see Bailey playing well with dogs with the same energy level (Luna, Whisper, Ole, and Bella). I tried cleaning his ears once and got my face and body covered with the fluid he shook off. I bathed him every week. I bought a trimmer online and shaved his fur around his paws (not good for his hips in the long run). I don’t necessarily enjoy the process of being a dog-sitter. But I must admit, there were moments I enjoyed.
