Categories
Fragments of My Dreams

Fragments Of My Dreams Episode 9 – Ghost Ship And Phantom Plane

Fragment of my dream

May 1 – Somewhere in my Dreamland – Day

I gather that I must be a small fry inside a battle ship.  It does not take long for me to realize that my work revolves around cleaning and filing.  A kind of small fry that everyone knows (when they need something) yet nobody sees (when I need someone to talk to).  It also does not take long for me to recognize that I have this platonic admiration towards the ship commander – a fine slender fair lady with a face of an angel and a gaze that says nothing (when I busy thinking) yet says it all (when I stop thinking).

I think I am happy working in that ship.  The job is manageable and now that the ship is docked at a small town by the sea, we stay at a modern oriental hotel that adjoins a hospital.  I gather that it must be wartime because from time to time, I see injured soldiers carried into the hospital.  Some with half the body gone screaming in pain.  I hear that there is a plague going on too.  Outside.  Somewhere out there.

It is a different world inside the hotel.  There is not much work at the ship as we are awaiting for further instructions from the Empire.  Hence, there are lots of social gatherings – at the lobby and at our own bedrooms.  How strange it is that on one side of the building – the hotel – there is romance and life in the air.  On the other side of the building – the hospital – there is despair and death at every corner.

One day, we are summoned by our ship commander for a briefing on a recent re-org.  A re-org directive from the Empire?!  I miss the briefing and bump into the commander at one corner of the deck later the day.  She – more human than ever – appears to talk to me (or to herself?) and says, “Can you believe it?  I belong to the same rank as the map readers and the navigators in this new re-org.  A rank 3?!”.

She sighs and I dare not ask what rank 1 and 2 are, set aside where I am in this new organizational chart.

Under the Empire’s instruction, our battle ship is slated to set sail.  The war and the plague have taken the toll on the crew.  As I step inside the ship, there are hardly any people left.  Instead, the ghosts of the dead have returned and carry on their assigned duties, as it was in the good old days.  The ship has to return to battle.  And soon, there will only be ghosts left inside.

May 2 – Also Somewhere in my Dreamland – Night

I gather that I must be a student, in black uniform.  It does not take long for me to realize that I do have friends whom I hang out with often.  I have no clue which century I am at as I rely on my horse to get from A to B.  We study in the evening, with burning candles.  There is a big gig in the Capital, at a stadium, and all the citizens will be there to attain an event with such a grandeur.  Posters and flyers are everywhere.

Days ago I asked my best friend if he wished to go and he said no.  I kept asking each day and the reply has stayed the same.  Today, it is too late to start the journey to the Capital for we both stay somewhere far away.

I hear horse steps outside my house, and then silence.  Greeted at my doorway are my best friend and another two friends of mine – a boy and a girl.  “Grab your horse and let’s go!” my best friend exclaims.

“But we are too late for the gig!” I replies.

Before I can protest, I am dragged out of my own home and he hands me my horse and says, “Follow me”.

Four of us ride through the woodland and in an unexpected opening, I see a small plane.

“A plane,” I inquire.  “That’s right.  Take your horse with you too.  We can all fit into that plane.”  “Who’s flying,” I ask.  “You,” he replies.

Ya right.  I know nothing about flying the plane.  Miraculously, all four of us together with our horses manage to squeeze into the small plane and absurd as it sounds, I am at the pilot seat.

The first thought that comes into my mind is that I should have played a flight simulator game at least once in my life (which century am I in again that has computer games?!).

Through some random pressing of buttons and some instinct with a large portion of luck, the plane takes off.  Everybody is screaming in joy.  Yes, we are going to make it to the gig of the year!

As our plane circles around the well lit stadium (by what, torch fire?), we see the crowd cheering for us.  Now, how the heck do I land this thing?!  But before I can worry about landing, the entire plane has gone dead.  It has lost all its power and is plunging towards the ground.

Strangely, no one seems scared.  At that very moment, so close to death, there is a sense of serenity.  We are all smiling (except me perhaps who is still trying to resurrect the plane).  Time seems to have frozen.  For all we know, we are all dead inside the plane as life and death fades in and out of each other.

We fall, and fall.

And at the last moment, the plane jerks into motion.  I grab the handle and the last thing in my mind is …

I will play a flight simulator game at least once when I wake up from this dream.

Categories
My Favorite Whacky Thoughts

Movie Script: Where In The World Is Mas Selamat?

The so-called vivid story told by today’s newspaper is neither in-depth nor entertaining.  I was expecting a Hollywood script like this.  Enjoy!  Rated M18 for strong language, blood and gore.

1. EXT.  DETENTION CENTER, SINGAPORE – NIGHT (4am)
 
(Writer’s note: Who wants to watch a fugitive film that happens at four in the afternoon?)
 
An unidentified truck pulls in front of the entrance of the detention center.  Two armed militias emerge spraying bullets at all living beings including a stray cat nearby.  Blood is everywhere.

MILITIA #1
Kekeke.

MILITIA #2 looks amused and takes out a walkie talkie.

MILITIA #2
Ahem.
(a beat)
Guardhouse secured.

2. INT. TOILET – NIGHT

As the head of the Singapore branch of the militant group Jemaah Islamiah MAS SELAMAT pees at the toilet bowl looking at an opened window right above him, we REVERSE ANGLE TO REVEAL:

Another two armed militias just a wall away from MAS.  MILITIA #4 is holding a walkie talkie that has lots of static noise.

3. EXT. OUTSIDE CHANGING ROOM – NIGHT

MILITIA #3
I heard the gunshots.  Where is our green light?!

MILITIA #4
(anxiously shaking his walkie talkie)
I think this thing is not working, boss.

MILITIA #3
(hesitated)
Hmmm … let’s do it!

MILITIA #4 takes out a slab of C-4, pastes them onto the wall, and whispers loudly at the opened window …

MILITIA #4
Jangan berdiri dekat jendela!

MILITIA #3
(puzzled)
What the heck is that?

MILITIA #4
Kekeke.  It means ‘back away from the window’ in Bahasa Indonesia, boss.  Now, back away from the wall!

As they back away from the wall …

MILITIA #3
For fudge’s sake, MAS SELAMAT is a Singaporean.  He knows English!

REVERSE ANGLE TO REVEAL: MAS is still peeing oblivious to all that happens outside the changing room.

4. INT. TOILET – NIGHT

Ka-boom!  A loud explosion.  A huge fireball.  The wall blows apart.  Dust everywhere.  The armed militias enters the cell.  REVERSE ANGLE TO REVEAL: MAS lies on the floor covered in blood.

MILITIA #3
You fudging moron!  Look what you’ve done!  You have bloody killed MAS SELAMAT!

MILITIA #4
What the fudge?!  I told him to stand back!
(a beat)
What shall we do now, boss?

MILITIA #3 grabs the walkie talkie from MILITIA #4 and says …

MILITIA #3
Abort mission!  Abort!  Can you hear me?!

Static noise from the walkie talkie is getting louder and louder and we REVERSE ANGLE TO REVEAL: MAS’s blood stained body twitches.  His fingers start to move.

CAPTION #1: “IT IS KNOWN THAT EXTREME SITUATION MAY INVOKE A SUDDEN LEAP OF EVOLUTION.”

5. EXT. HIGHWAY (P I E) – NIGHT (4.11am)

The four armed militias together with blood stained MAS SELAMAT inside the truck entering the PIE highway.  MAS does not seem injured.

MILITIA #4
Oh crap!  We must leave the highway now!

MILITIA #3
What now?!

MILITIA #4
I forgot to top up my Cashcard.

MILITIA #3
For fudge’s sake, you moron!  The ERP gantries won’t be operational in another 3 hours!  Now drive!  The plane should fly by us any time from now.

As everyone look up at the sky, our CAMERA slowly points up, spots a plane far away, and moves back to the crowd inside the truck …

MILITIA #3
MAS, it is time now.  You must leave Singapore alive.

MAS
How about you all?

MILITIA #1
We do what terrorists always do.  Kekeke.  Blown up into pieces.

MILITIA #4
Ya … 99 virgins in heaven!  Kekeke.

MILITIA #2
Kekeke.  Oh please … it is 70!

MILITIA #3
You guys are morons.  For fudge’s sake.

6. EXT. HIGHWAY – NIGHT

MAS SELAMAT gets on top of the truck, grabs the plane’s landing gear and flies off into the sky.  The CAMERA follows the plane looking back at the truck.  The truck gets smaller and smaller and then ka-boom!  A tiny fireball.

7. INT. COCKPIT – NIGHT

Inside the cockpit, MAS SELAMAT and PILOT engages in a deep conversation.  The CAMERA moves away from MAS and PILOT and points at the view outside the window.  2 F-14 Tomcat fighter planes are at their tail.

PILOT
MAS, you have to jump off the plane now!  They are going to shoot us down.

MAS
But I will die!

PILOT
MAS, if you can survive C-4 while peeing, you can surely survive this fall!  You are a super villain now!

MAS
How about you?

PILOT smiles as MAS looks back while jumping off the plane.  The CAMERA follows MAS as he falls looking back at the plane.  The plane gets smaller and smaller and then ka-boom!  A tiny fireball.

Wind noise is getting louder and louder and we REVERSE ANGLE TO REVEAL: Super villain MAS opens a portal right underneath of him and he disappears as he drops into the portal.

CAPTION #2: “AFTER CLOSE TO 2 MONTHS OF MANHUNT IN SINGAPORE, MAS SELAMAT IS STILL NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.”

CAPTION #3: “NO ONE KNOWS WHERE HE IS.”

CAPTION #4: “A FEW SMALL FRIES FROM THE CENTER RECEIVE DISCIPLINARY ACTIONS.”

CAPTION #5: “MINISTER FOR HOME AFFAIRS, WONG KAN SENG’S HEAD DOES NOT ROLL.”

CAPTION #6: “WILFRID WONG LOST A $2 BET WITH HIS FRIEND TK.  TK IS RIGHT.  WONG KAN SENG IS GOING TO FIRE EVERYONE FROM GROUND UP … TO ONE OR FEW LEVELS BELOW HIM.”

End.

Categories
Memorable Events

A Wedding – Of Brothers And Sisters And Being Emcee

The brothers and sisters of Jason and Selrol's wedding

Caption of the picture above: On the far left is me.  The lady next to me is my counterpart in Mandarin (the other much better looking emcee).  The rest are the sisters and brothers who guarded the gate and crashed the gate respectively in an early Sunday morning.

Part 1 of 2: Of Brothers and Sisters

I guess you can’t really say “brother, I will take a bullet for you” without rising up to the situation when called for.  So when my buddy Jason dropped me an email three weeks before his wedding titled “Band of Brothers”, I was like: wait a minute, I thought I have only signed up for the emceeing job?  Since it was my first time being one of the brothers or witnessing the morning wedding activity in Singapore, I was actually excited for the opportunity.

Note: In a Chinese wedding, the groom needs to make a trip to pick up the bride at her parent’s home.  The sisters handpicked by the bride are supposed to set up a few challenges and quests for the groom to handle and solve before getting his ultimate reward – the bride.  And to help the groom in accomplishing these meant-to-be humanly impossible tasks, he selects his own band of brothers to take on some of the challenges.  After all, the brothers are dispensable to a larger extend.  The groom is not.

The night before, one friend of mine shared some of the horror stories of what some of the brothers have to go through in crashing the bride’s gate heavily guarded by the sisters.  I was like …

OK, so long as I don’t need to put the spicy wasabi (“Japanese horseradish”) into my eyes in the MTV style, I am ready to walk on fire, cross the ocean, and slay a few dragons for my buddy.  (But please don’t wax my legs.)

The actual event was less dramatic than I visualized.  At the bride’s gate, the sisters demanded red packets (note: we put money inside the packets) like the ERP gantries on the CTE in Singapore.  The groom must be thinking that sincerity goes a long way so he gave the sisters the biggest packet he had in his pocket at the first gantry.  OK.  That didn’t work as the subsequent “backup” red packets were much lesser in value.  So when the negotiation broke down, we were left with only one way – the sisters’ way.

One sister poured out a cup of what appeared like lemonade, my mouth actually watered.  I could use some lemonade right now!  One brother quickly grabbed the cup and down it in one go.  Bravo!  What was it inside, we queried.  Nothing unusual, he replied.  Next came a cup of dark stuff, some kind of sweet drink for the groom.  Jason happily downed that with no sweat.

Then, one of the sisters pulled out a bottle of what seemed like a bright green juice for the aliens from the outer-space.  Uh-oh.  And she took out four cups for the brothers.  That stuff was bitter!  I have no idea how many bitter gourds I have “drank”, certainly no idea that bitter gourds are juicy at all.  It better be good for my skin.

The last dish was a plate of snacks creamed with wasabi.  So long as I don’t need to stuff them onto my eyes, I am more than happy to set my tongue on fire (that stuff was spicy).

The subsequent pole dancing by the groom must have set the aunties’ hearts on fire.  At one point, one auntie threw the key out of the gate, caught by one of the brothers, only to have it lost to one sister from the other side of the gate.  Dude?!  How the heck did that happen?!  In the end, one brother has to dip his naked hairy leg into a bucket full of ice cold water in order to fish out the key with his bare feet.  How heroic (and marginally gross too)!

And as simple as that, the what seemed to be an impassable gate that we stared at for what seemed like ages finally broke open.  Hooray!  But wait, the door to the bride’s door was still closed!  (I swear Selrol, the bride, must be very eager to have it opened, and so were the in-laws to be).  The last challenge was for Jason to sing a song.  Oh well, we all know how well the groom sings.

So, a piece of cake that was.

Part 2 of 2: Being Emcee

I guess you can’t really say no if one of your best buddies says, “We would be honored to have you as our emcee for our wedding dinner”.  I mean, people won’t ask you to be an emcee thinking that you are not right for the job, right?

Right?

Hmmm.  I certainly do enjoy getting involved with my friends’ weddings in some ways.  Like that one time our band put together one recorded song for the couple to play during the dinner.  And another time I was rehearsing with my buddy in my humble home studio for his surprise singing performance to his bride during their wedding dinner.

Emceeing is a different ball game, I soon found out.  OK, I am comfortable standing in front of the crowd.  But memorizing the scripts is another thing.  I am terrible in that and it took me hours and nights trying to memorize my few lines.  Seriously, I am one of the few in this planet who just cannot memorize.  The good thing is, it did make my job a whole lot easier on stage with the printout of the scripts as prompts and my lines at the back of my head.

The most nerve-racking portion of the evening, to me, was the storytelling part.  The couple suggested that I shall tell a story since I was “part of the process”.  And I soon realized that the words in my head, and the words I write, and the words I speak are all very different from one another (note: need to work on that in near future).  I spent days and weeks thinking of what to say and it seems so easy just thinking about it.  Then I spent days trying to write my thoughts onto paper and boy, that was tough!  I had so many versions of the story that it was no longer funny.  In fact, I learned that what I write is not exactly how I should speak.  Gosh!  I wonder how these talented netizens are able to create the pod-cast and video-cast in a regular basis (note: I shall start terrorizing my loyal fans with some what-not-cast).  I tried speaking to the windscreen while I was driving alone in my car and that was … tough and weird to say the least.

Maybe that’s why we have the talented scriptwriters to write the stories and the talented comedians to tell the stories in real life.

To cut a long story short, faced with a crowd from a diverse background and with time constraint, I have decided to change the script in the last minute and do a live interview to a few of the couple’s close friends.  I was planning to share an insight of what the newly wed’s love journey has been so far in an (hopefully) entertaining manner.  The best part of it all, I think, was when a birthday cake was taken out as a surprise and I prompted Jason to sing a birthday song for his bride in front of all their guests.  Selrol was in tears.

It was a lovely wedding dinner and an emotional night.  When I shook Jason’s hand as I left the ballroom, both of us were too tired to communicate.  But our eyes said it all.

So, two cakes that were – a wedding cake and a birthday cake.

Categories
Whacky Thoughts

How To Change The World When Everyone Is Bitching – Dealing With Egoist, Skeptic, Victim, And Follower

The view from my cubicle

One weekend, Cynthia passed me a newspaper cutting written by The Straits Times journalist Sumiko Tan on how her text message conversation with her friend inspired her to write an article on why some people tend to tell white lies to comfort others.  Sumiko was having lunch alone one day, sent a text message to her friend on how sad and lonely she felt, and her friend’s honest reply of “you have no friends, you are a sad person” made her wonder why he did not comfort her instead.  But of course, she knew he was telling the truth.  Truth hurts.

When Cynthia passed me the article, she said, “I like Sumiko Tan.  She always writes something I can relate.”  And it suddenly hit me, I too want to write something that my regular readers can relate (or try writing at least).

One fine afternoon during lunch, one colleague of mine said to me, “You can be so easily impressed by people.  I mean, you are so optimistic.”  Her comment puzzled me initially and I queried if there is anything wrong feeling that way about others.  We didn’t reach any conclusion.

That little incident took me back to the time when I was first given the opportunity to lead teams.  I have had this belief that everyone has talents.  Finding the right set of motivations, to me, is the key to unlock these precious talents from the people around me.  This notion seems to work fine but it doesn’t necessarily translate to results.  A few years later, I met one mentor of mine who taught me: exploit one’s strengths, not weaknesses.  At that time, it was quite an eye-opener because unlocking one’s talent is one thing, apply that to yield desirable results is another.

This little revelation changes the way I manage people.  On one end of the equation are the tasks at hand, on the other end of the equation is a set of talented skills the team has.  Any gap in between would have to be filled in by the untapped talent of the existing team (through training for example) or a new hired resource.

But why stop at the team level?  Why not apply the same observation to our bosses and beyond?  I mean, they all have their ins and outs and why not recognize their weaknesses and work with their strengths?  I don’t know what your working environment is like but nearly all the places I have been to, I have met some co-workers who spend much time thinking and bitching about their bosses, their departments or projects, the organization, the government, the planet, and etc.  Most of the claims I have heard are taken out of context or formed due to a lack of an appreciation of a bigger picture.  Some claims are factual but I usually find that the constructive views resulting from these facts add more values to our lives instead.  I guess we all bitch either publicly or privately at times (to bitch is human?).  But dwelling on so much dark energy that consumes us doesn’t seem healthy to me.

This blog entry is not about them.  It is about how you can perhaps change the world when faced with adversity as described above.  After years and years of sitting through all these bitching sessions – which I have tried to avoid by all means if I can but you know how it’s like when you are stuck in a meeting room, a lift, or a team lunch or drink appointment – I can loosely categorize the active contributors as: the Egoist, the Skeptic, the Victim, and the Follower.

You can easily spot the Egoists from the crowd.  Nothing or no one is good enough for them, except a rare few.  They see all the flaws around them so much so that they forget that they are not that perfect either.  The only way to defuse the situation is to gain their respect and slowly influence their point of views.  This certainly takes time because most likely, you are not good enough for them either.  You will need a lot of patience or to wait for some humbling situations to occur.  People do change, given time.  Orchestrate some opportunities if you can to accelerate the process.

The Skeptics doubt people and beliefs in general and it is a darn hard job to sell the vision of the future or to convince the ”˜invisible’ ability of our leaders to them.  Any plan that is to come, unless hundred and one percent proven, are plans that may not succeed.  Any one who advocate these plans – our bosses most likely – are not the ones to be hundred percent trusted.  In any given day, it is of course good to put on the caution hat to anticipate some of the foreseeable challenges ahead.  But to face with the Skeptics who constantly wear that hat could be tiring to some of us.  Worst of all, Skeptics are usually part of the team that can influence the outcome and we know no one wants to be proven wrong.  So, go and guess the results yourself.  Proving them wrong would not work because it only takes one incident of shit hitting the fan when they turn around and say, “See I told you so”.  I guess one way is to constantly remind them how the situation has improved over time (averaging the occasion shit hits the fan situations) and hope that they are less vocal about their thoughts and to put them into something more constructive instead.

The Victims are the one who think that the whole world is acting against them.  Bosses are there to give them a hard time and everything is beyond their control.  To help the Victims – which is a lot easier than dealing with the Egoists and Skeptics I must say – is to rebuild their confidence and self-worth.  Let them know that while many things in life are beyond our control, there are more we can influence.  The frustration is of course more often then not, the Victims keep slipping back to the victimized mode and you find yourself repeating the same advice again, again, and again.

The Followers don’t necessarily have strong views about persons or situations in general.  They feed on what others say and help fueling the entire bitching session by agreeing with the points in totality.  Without them, the emotions wouldn’t rise high and the fists wouldn’t hit the sky.  So what shall we do with them?  Absolutely nothing because once you perform the heroic task of neutralizing the Egoists and the Skeptics and the Victims, there will be nothing left for them to follow.

The question is: why do you even bother to neutralize the situation?

Yes, it is much easier to avoid getting involved with all these bitching sessions.  However, if you have a stake on the team and if you do care about some of them as friends, indifference is probably a less desired strategy.

At least, morally speaking

PS. The above is a picture taken from my cubicle.  Unfortunately, the sea view is behind where I sit.

Categories
Snippet of My Life

Snippet Of My Life Episode 11 – Of Coffee Bean Muffins, Singapore Budget Terminal, Sudoku, 1-800-CALL-NEA, and IPO

Oil Painting Morphed

I swear things are getting more expensive in Singapore.  Just couldn’t pinpoint the exact figure as I am lousy in numbers until one morning, I was devastated to see my beloved muffin at Coffee Bean is now selling at S$3.50, up from S$2.70.  That is a 30% hike over the weekend.  That’s it, no more muffin breakfast for the poor me.  The staff looked at me in sympathy and sighed, “Only salary doesn’t go up”.  I agreed.
 
So I shall go budget.  Cynthia went budget for a totally different reason (last minute flight booking).  I enjoy sending Cynthia off to the airport in the morning.  A break from the routine travel on the CTE and a chance to see the Singapore Flyer up close and personal, I love the Daytona highway ride in around that area too.  We have not been to the Budget Terminal before and joked that we may be able to drive up to where the plane parked.  Nothing like that of course.  The Budget Terminal, to me, looks pretty much like the Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal from the outside.
 
Today was the first time I visited the Budget Terminal.  Today was also the first time I played Sudoku!  I have always been tempted to try it out.  The rules are actually a lot simpler than I thought.  Sudoku is pretty much like my favorite Minesweeper game – either a direct solve for a cell or a solution by elimination.  It is therapeutic and while I was playing it on Today (the free newspaper), I was more fascinated in how I can create a Sudoku puzzle and how I can write a program to solve a Sudoku puzzle using artificial intelligence.  Who knows?  Granted that many may have done that, I may actually do that myself.
 
Besides Sudoku, in today’s Today forum, there was an official government response on a complaint made against motorists who leave the engines on while idling on the roadside: call 1-800-CALL-NEA.  All we need to do is to provide NEA with the date, time, location, vehicle registration number, and the brief description and NEA will take action from there.  I have no qualm over that because many times while I was jogging on the street, I see motorists taking naps inside their air-conditioned vehicles with their engines on.  Singapore is an unique country whereby citizens and residents are mobilized from catching irresponsible motorists to the participation of the manhunt activity.  Imagine one day we could call 1-800-CALL-CWO (corrective work order) for the spotting of litterbugs.  Or another 1-800 number to call CASE for a muffin hike not unlike the one at Coffee Bean.

In the middle of Raffle Place, where my office is, I often see up to three IPO counters ‘competing’ for attention.  9 out of 10 counters will have a pair of attractive young girls … distributing booklets.  Part of the advertising strategy perhaps?  One of my friends agreed, “Ain’t no pretty girls, ain’t no IPO”.

Talking about IPO, Benny emailed me this morning and said, “I feel for you bro”.  You feel for me how what who where?!  He was referring to my HWT share that continues to head south.  The price was so stagnant that I gave up staring at the same figure day after day.  Is there such a thing as: too late to sell?  Oh well …

So I lost S$600 on paper.  And I needed a retail therapy.  I bought tons of rare CDs from HMV with one that costs as much as S$52.95. 

Things are getting more expensive in Singapore, I swear.

Categories
Snippet of My Life

Snippet Of My Life Episode 10 – Of Password, Viking Game, And American Idol

Oil Painting Morphed

Cynthia’s mother is leaving, my mother is arriving.  I think I need a holiday.

We all do something stupid, in the past.  I can’t explain why the paranoid.  I mean, those are just computer files and pictures and seemingly useless stuffs now that I am looking at them.  But back then, I put a protective password to every single file, every zip file that archived a bunch of protected files.  That was madness, paranoid, and stupid. I am desperate to retrieve an old Excel file, all of a sudden.

Till now, I am still trying to crack my brain for that password.  I know it is somewhere.  I shall call a hypnotist for help.

And in this digital pile of junk, I have uncovered more than I could remember, more than I want to remember.  Documents of (failed) business venture, diary, love letters, hate letters, letters that have never been sent, countless gaming programs I attempted to create including something as absurd as a Viking game (it is actually quite a good asymmetric game from York, UK, I think) – it was supposed to be a game of me against the machine, baby! Life of a geek in solitude, used to be.

I wonder.  Where did I manage to find time to do all these?

My world was pure in the beginning.  Before I left Hong Kong, I listened to classical music most of the time.  The first English pop song I fell in love was Madonna’s “Like a Prayer”.  The first pop cassette I owned was “Like a Prayer”.  Before Cynthia came to my world, I hardly watched any TV programs. Now, I am a …

How I love to watch American Idol!  Another new season, another something to look forward to, another something to cry upon.  There are already some eye candies whom I really like.  Even that boy with altitude … I mean … gosh, where did they find these people from?  Monday, “Dirt”, Tuesday, “Heroes”, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday “American Idol”, any day, “E!”, “[V]”.  To top up the list, there are always Oprah and America’s Top Something.

TV has taken control of my life!

OK, I am still cracking my brain for that password.  Cynthia’s mother is leaving, my mother is arriving.  I think I need more PJs.

Don’t ask.

Categories
Book Reviews Fiction Whacky Thoughts

An Attempt To Pinpoint Why I Still Love Reading Chinese Literature – A Brief Review of 倪匡中篇奇情武俠系列《金腰帶》

倪匡中篇奇情武俠系列《金腰帶》

I have read tens or perhaps hundreds of English books but none matches the sensation I derive from reading in my mother tongue.  Like this particular book I am going to feature here, I was so deeply affected that my mind just wouldn’t allow me to do anything else right after I’ve finished reading the book.  The plot was alive in my mind for days thereafter.  I still cannot pinpoint why.  All I could guess is that the reading pleasure may come in fourfold: the native understanding of the passages, the linkage to the culture and tradition, the construct of the phrases, and the depth and complexity of the development of human characters within.

People at times tease me on how much I suck in English spelling, which is true.  Unlike English whereby words are constructed in alphabets that can be pronounced without knowing the underlying meanings, you can’t do the same for Chinese characters.  You may be able to recognize the meaning of a character because characters are often assembled in components that represent the picture, sound, color, or the combined meaning.  It is only fair to say that I am trained in recognizing and replicating words in the form of characters rather than memorizing the pronunciation of the words in alphabets.  While I can quite easily find a Chinese book that I can recognize 99.99% of the words within, I can hardly say the same for English, by a far margin.

Recognition of words aside, it is often the context of a certain phrase derived from some literatures written in the old days that contributes to the art value of the modern day Chinese literature.  If I was to soak myself into the work of Homer or Shakespeare or Dante or Woolf the same number of years I soaked myself in the Chinese poems and classic literature and history, I think I may be able to gain a similar level of appreciation from reading English literature.  I knew that all those years of reciting old Chinese poems and literature does translate into something.  There is just no easy way to do this except to invest time and effort.  It is part of the culture and tradition that is imbued in me from young.

Another notable difference, especially in the genre of Wuxia (that I will explain later), is the excessive usage of dramatic and explicit expressions to describe situations that often lift up my soul just by reading those phrases at face value.  For those who have the Chinese background, let’s see how many of the following phrases you can recognize.  To describe a fearful looking man, we use “the horizontal growth of facial flesh” to paint a brutal picture of his face.  To describe the break of dawn, we compare that scenic view to “the white belly of a fish”.  Picture yourself in front of a half naked blacksmith creating a piece of metal weapon.  As the hammer hits the red hot piece of steel, you can see the pulsation of this man’s muscles.  We describe his muscles as “an infinite number of jumping mice”.  When faced with a clamoring crowd, we describe the situation as “seven mouths and eight tongues”.  Why is there an extra tongue?  That is how noisy the crowd is.  Finally, I will leave the last example, a four-character Chinese word, for you to decipher – “the howling of the devil, the rallying of the god”.

There is a certain parallelism between the Chinese genre Wuxia and the Western fantasy I believe.  As I was once told, in the world of the Western fantasy, the good and evil is often well defined.  It is the same for Wuxia though to add to the element of drama, there is often shades of good and evil.  There are evil characters that may behave in an honorable way or good characters turn bad.  The center philosophy of Wuxia is a blend of honor and martial arts.  In the godless world of Wuxia, characters wield rare weapons, have gifted talents, able to perform martial arts, and some gain once-in-a-lifetime enlightenment to take them from heroes to legends.  Center to the human character in the world of Wuxia is honor, love, hatred, deceit, revenge, betrayal, struggle, and sacrifice.  It is hard to define any Wuxia piece of work as comedy or tragedy like a Western piece of work.  Chinese authors seem to have no qualm in letting their most beloved characters assassinated, murdered, killed, mutilated, disfigured, or even raped at times by the very person these characters trust, by the most evil characters, or simply by the most insignificant characters.  If there is any redemption to all these mishaps, the plot of a typical Wuxia story often resolves to the theme of: justice will prevail, honor will be restored.  But at what cost?  That is the beauty of this genre.  The authors’ imagination is the limit.

Ni Kuang (倪匡) is a Chinese writer from Hong Kong who is famous for his science fictions.  I cannot recall how many of his books I have read when I was a student.  His venture into the Wuxia genre is new to me.  In fact, this genre has been dominated by the legendary works of Jin Yong (金庸) that are usually lengthy and come in a volume of one, two, four, or five (another interesting observation is that some Western literature often comes in the form of trilogy instead).  Ni Kuang has written a set of short Wuxia stories (each story roughly equals to 1/32 of a typical length of a story by Jin Yong) when he was young but the timing was not right for him to release his materials.  It could be because short Wuxia stories were against the norm back then.  Now that Ni Kuang is in his 70s and all of a sudden, he has decided to release all his Wuxia works in one go.  Rejoice for fans like me of course.  With such drastic reduction in length, Ni Kuang has stripped away the historical references to the main storyline like the typical Wuxia novelists do, the poems and the scenic descriptions that are so prominently demonstrated in Jin Yong’s work, as well as having a much limited character set.  The result is a tight storyline, fast pace read with a high entertainment value.

《金腰帶》 (loosely translates to “The Golden Belt”) as part of Ni Kuang’s medium length Wuxia story series contains two short stories, like the rest in the same series.  The first story is about how a daughter of an evil lord gets involved with a young hero who is in love with a lady from a good lord.  The second independent story is about how a daughter seeks revenge after her parents were murdered due to a treasure they stole and later on falls in love with the son of the very person she is seeking revenge upon.  I have retold the story to Cynthia in English (with drawings, timeline, and flowcharts) and she was deeply moved.  I guess, in a rather long fashion, I have illustrated the last attribute of the uniqueness of Chinese or especially Wuxia stories: the depth and complexity of the development of human character within.

Categories
Fragments of My Dreams

Fragments Of My Dreams Episode 8 – Six Kids

Fragment of my dream

I woke up, which ironically was exactly when I fell asleep in reality, and I was dressed in my dark executive suit, white shirt, with a pair of dark trousers.  Somehow, I knew today was supposed to be an important day.  There was this sense of anticipation as my front door open.  And I remembered.  Today was the day to meet my kids for the first time!  I had not had children before in my entire life.  And that truthful reality curiously extended into my dream.  I felt so excited.  My first time as a father!

As the shining light of the morning sun beamed into my house, I saw six children at my doorstep – a pair of girls in early teens, a pair of boys not older than 5, and two toddlers.  Vaguely in the background I saw a woman with a face I could not remember of.  6 kids!  That feeling was so overwhelming.  I was a dad!  For the first time!  A sudden sense of pride and responsibility descended upon me.  The feeling was so surreal, so in my face.

But, wait a minute.  Where did the kids come from?  Even in my ecstatic state I could not help but to analyse the situation using logic.  Even in my dreamy state I knew I could not have impregnated any of of past encounters that many times.  6 kids!  Where did you all come from?

I could have married a divorce, yes?  They could be from an orphanage, yes?  Or I could have inherited them from one of my friends or distant family, yes?  My frustration in finding an answer was overshadowed by my joy, the joy of being a dad to 6 kids.  I was a dad, can you believe it?!

I always thought I prefer girls but I found it hard to connect to my daughters.  They just didn’t want to talk to me.  Give it time, I thought to myself.  The pair of boys on the other hands readily accepted me as their dad.  They hugged me and demanded me to bath them every night, which was nice.  I did not have much recollection of the pair of toddlers.

Work had been crazy.  I was given this impossible task as a trainer to train the internal staff on the topic of … oh well, I didn’t even want to talk about it.  The bulletin had been circulated for a while and I doubted if there were many who would turn up.  And I was right.  The theatre was half occupied.  In my trembling voice, I greeted the audience and continued, “Today’s topic is …”  I paused, looked at the direction of my boss at the front row, and he mouthed the title of the training in a part encouraging part humiliating manner.  “… Functional Usage,” I continued.

Then I flashed the slides onto the big screen and there was a mathematical formula.  I stared at the formula as though it was the first time seeing it (and it was indeed the first time I saw it).  On the left of the equation looked like the time available to us individual in a daily fashion.  On the right was a whole list of components.  The first item being the time we had to set aside for the security measures against terrorism.  Ah, I saw the connection here.  It must be some sort of time management training course.  What century in the future was I at?!  That mankind had to set aside time to go through the security measures, daily?  How sad!  Once I grasped the essence of what the equation was about, I had this sudden dose of confidence and my consulting skill kicked in (apparently my skills in real life extends to my dreams as well).  I began to talk about terrorism and the need to better manage our time.

Speaking of time management, I had this longing to go home as soon as I could, to see my kids, especially my two boys.

Categories
Experience Sharing

Bee Hoon – Cynthia’s Version

Cyn Cyn Bee Hoon

I literally have to wrest the recipe of this simple healthy tasting home cooked bee hoon (i.e. rice vermicelli) from Cynthia in order to have it published in my site.  She is just not comfortable with the limelight, which I reassured her that not many people visit my site anyway.  Perhaps I should re-brand my site as: where I’ll go all the way to get things that you want to read.  Except, I don’t really know what you want to read.

To be fair, this bee hoon recipe does belong to my family’s treasure box, a well-kept secret of the Wong’s family.  One fine year, my mother visited my home and like how the kung fu master finds his disciples, my mother taught Cynthia how to make some of my favorite dishes that I don’t seem to have the talent to learn.  What is amazing is that my mother speaks in Cantonese (that Cynthia doesn’t understand) and Cynthia transcripts in Bahasa Indonesia (that I don’t understand).  Maybe cooking recipes transcend languages.  Maybe all one needs is the patience to record.

Armed with my camera, here is my attempt to record how this dish is made.  From left to right, top to bottom …

  1. Cynthia’s secret cookbook with my mother’s well-kept recipes written in Bahasa Indonesia that I can’t comprehend.
  2. Chop the pork into bite size.  For the Muslim readers, feel free to use chicken instead.  For the vegetarian readers, I wonder if replacing fried bean curd yields the same result.
  3. Marinate the meat with the usual ingredients (soy source, sugar, salt, and corn flour).  There is no scientific rule in how much ingredients to add to the meat.  Marination is an art and I usually go with the feel.  If the meat turns out to be too salty, add less soy source and salt next time and vice versa. Pay attention to the distinct taste of each ingredient and adjust accordingly.
  4. Smash the dry scallop into pieces using a chopper.
  5. Boil the dry scallop with the right amount of water as that will be your soup base.
  6. Wash the vegetable of your choice.
  7. When your soup base is boiling, throw in the marinated meat.  There is no need to add salt or whatsoever at this stage.
  8. Meanwhile, prepare another pan of hot water to cook the bee hoon (or rice vermicelli).  Upon my request, Cynthia used the Japanese thin flat noodle instead.  Somehow I prefer that to bee hoon.
  9. When the been hoon is cooked, run it under cold water to rinse away the extra starch that may cloud your soup.
  10. Throw in the vegetable after the dry scallop becomes soft to the mouth (usually about half an hour or more).
  11. Divide the bee hoon.
  12. Pour the soup onto the bee hoon!

I like the way this dish is cooked because it tastes healthy – subtle and not too overwhelming.  The soup base has a distinct taste of meat, dry scallop, and vegetable.  You can always add a few drops of Maggi (Chinese seasoning source) if the taste is too healthy for you.  Alternatively, add a few pieces of abalone will definitely enhance the dish in a big way.

Note: The 1-800 number advertised is invalid.  Please don’t waste your money.

Categories
Reflection

That Sweet Eb Chord Is Years In The Making

The 4 guitar chords that string nicely

This is probably one silly insignificant blog entry but hopefully you may be able to relate to some of the take home messages I found.

When was the last time you hear someone or even yourself saying “no, I can’t dance”, “I can’t play any instruments”, “I can’t paint”, “I can’t sing”, “the only thing I can cook is instant noodle”, and etc.  Maybe some of you have already taken the first step in any of the above-mentioned activities and are convinced that no way in life you can do any of those.  The irony in life is that it may take much lesser time than you think in order to get over the initial hurdle.

The Eb guitar chord has been a nightmare to me for close to two decades (the 3rd picture from the left). I simply couldn’t play it.  I was so scared of it so much so that I would avoid the Eb chord at all cost – even if I have to transpose (change the key) the entire song.  I’ve tried many times and didn’t have the determination to persist.  Of course I can still play the Eb chord on the 6th fret (bar chord).  But it just doesn’t go along with the rest of the chords that predominately play on the first few frets (the higher the fret number is, the higher pitch the chord becomes).  The good thing though is that I am trained to transpose songs in my head as I play. Not many friends whom I know would go through that mental hassle.  They would rather transpose the song on paper first or use a clip for the stepping up of the keys.

The main draw back is, as I transpose the song in my head, some chords that were previously not Eb may now become an Eb.  And then I will need to transpose to yet a different key (another step up or step down) to avoid the Eb chord.  This at times poses a challenge of my vocal range as the song may be too straining to sing.

Last night, there was one particular song that I really like and I felt that the key was a bit too high for me.  So I attempted to transpose the song to two keys lower.  And I hit the Eb chord.  I was frustrated.  If only I could master that one single chord!  Since the new theme of this year is “do it”, which by the way has already motivated me to do quite a few things in just one month, I have decided to … do it.

After one hour worth of playing a four-chord set continuously that amounted to about 570 repetitions (see the 4 chords in the picture above), need not to say, my fingers were pain like hell because I was (and still am) not used to the positioning of the Eb chord pattern.  But I am happy that I can actually play that chord.  I will still need a lot of practice to perfect it, I am sure, and you have no idea what it means to me as I have finally got rid of that one blind spot.

One year ago, none of us in the band believed that memorizing our band’s songs can be a reality.  Neither was I.  We were even planning to have the music scores projected during our live performance.  Our years long common belief was, “no, this can’t be done because the songs are way too complex”.  I started to give it a try and managed to memorize 10 songs – chords and lyrics – in a rather reasonable time frame.  As I have predicted (and promised) and with my help in articulating how the chords progress, it took our bassist Cynthia less than 3 hours to memorize the chords of 5 songs that are chosen for our first gig.  Seeing how we did it, our lead guitarist Jason also gave it a conscious effort in memorizing the songs during our jamming sessions.

Bottom line is, yes you can do it.  And the initial hurdle may take much lesser time than you anticipate.  You may take years to discover that you can actually do it.  Or you can start doing it now.