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Diary From the Attic

My Obsession with Mylene Farmer Continues

Claude has finally left for Cairo and I took over his desk.  Just too relax nowadays.

My long awaiting Mylene Farmer Live album has finally arrived.  Just tell you how much I obsess with it.  Went to Rue Montmatre wanted to dine at TGIF.  Instead, I walked into a record store, Extrapole, and discovered this beautiful album.  As I always buy CD from FNAC (for tax return purposes), I travel all the way to Chatelet and found that I was five minutes late.  Knowing that the FNAC in La Defense closed at eight, I rushed back to La Defense and walked into FNAC five minutes before it was closed.

Quite an exciting and interesting day for me.

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From the Attic

Interview with Wilf

This is for those of you who have briefly followed my messages and those of you who are interested in how I feel from time to time. This is very likely the last message composed in Paris and I hope you enjoy.

Wilf

[Music plays]

Narrator : Welcome to the best show in town, and please welcome

[Drum rolls]

Narrator : tonight’s hostess – Fonsuea!

[Glamorous Fonsau walks in with cheer from the crowd]

Fonsuea : Thank you. Thank you very much. Welcome to the show. We have a very special guest tonight and please welcome the founder of World Wide Wilf Interactive System – Wilf!

[More applause as Wilf walks in and exchanges a kiss with Fonsau]

Fonsuea : It’s good to have you here with us tonight. Tell us Wilf, why do you name it as WWWIS?

Wilf : Well, one of my colleague, Miranda, named it for me. We thought it is quite cool to interpret WWW as World Wide Wilf. Also later on, I really wish to interact with the people around me, hence “Interactive System”.

Fonsuea : Tell us more about WWWIS.

Wilf : Really, if you read the contents carefully, every message has an important message that I would like to put through to the ones I care. I am not good at aimless jokes. To expand one’s imagination remains one of my main goal.

[Applause]

Fonsuea : How nice! I bet a lot of people have asked you where your ideas come from.

Wilf : You bet. Initially, it was from my insanity as I was being so isolated. Eventually, I accepted and even welcomed this isolation and later on, I was obsessed with the philosophy of void or nothingness.

Fonsuea : And you’ve got a lot of people worried about you, haven’t you?

Wilf : Regretfully yes. But I am a very direct kind of people and just can’t stand to keep quiet all the time. I love to share and hear what other people think.

Fonsuea : Back to your origin of idea

Wilf : Ah, yes. Idea seems to evolve when you isolate yourself with the people around you. You no longer share the common news and experience but to experience your very own adventure. And of course, many ideas keep popping out of my mind and it is so hard to grab them all.

Fonsuea : We understand that once you said you are addicted to broadcast message to all your dear friends. When did it really begin?

Wilf : It all started with the new Prince album and I just cannot hide my joy. Overjoyed indeed.

Fonsuea : And you just continue from then on?

Wilf : Indeed, you are right.

Fonsuea : And your debut is “Win 95 Insanity”. Tell us where did you get this idea from.

Wilf : I must admit that a lot of people love this message a lot. I was thinking of writing something original and viola, why not write something about Window 95.

Fonsuea : Your early materials were focused on your experience in restaurant. But why?

Wilf : The answer is very simple. I spent most of my free time at restaurant and it is amazing on the people you met.

Fonsuea : Like?

Wilf : Once I met a Dutch politician. And we had a very interesting conversation. Talk about politics and you know what I mean. Another time was like this. Most of the time, people converse in French all around me and I am used to not being able to understand what’s going on. For once, I was in a Thai restaurant and on one side, two ladies conversed in English and one the other side, a couple conversed in Cantonese. Most bizarre experience as these are the only two languages I know of.

Fonsuea : That must be. Okay, so far we talk about all your success, have your encountered any failure?

Wilf : Certainly. Hmm let me think. Ah, the story about “Mad Cow – C’est Moi/Toi?” seems to be a big flop.

Fonsuea : Oh, really? How come?

Wilf : People took it too literally and it was not the message I was trying to convey. Of course, from the replies, I know the group of people who is interested in animals.

Fonsuea : What does “C’est Moi” and “C’est Toi” mean by the way.

Wilf : In French, it means “It’s me”, “It’s you”.

Fonsuea : What were you trying to convey?

Wilf : Think of the living cow when you order beef next time.

Fonsuea : Very inspiring thought!

[Applause and music plays]

Wilf : Indeed that was what I thought but some of my audiences think that I have hallucination. Some of them even asked me to return to Singapore and restore my sanity.

Fonsuea : Oh, how sad.

Wilf : Very sad but that’s life.

Fonsuea : Were you really you know

Wilf : Yes?

Fonsuea : Insane?

Wilf : Up to a certain extend, yes. The worst message I have ever composed is “Final : The UMM Crashed!!” Guess I have taken it too far but I couldn’t control myself at that time. Believe me, I just couldn’t.

Fonsuea : I heard that you’ve come back to Paris the second time and soon, continued to compose messages. And that was the time when WWWIS was created.

Wilf : That’s right.

Fonsuea : Have you finally restored your insanity when you were back to Singapore for 3 weeks?

Wilf : I think I’ve become more mature and more stable.

Fonsuea : So there is a difference between the messages from this two different periods of time.

Wilf : Very much. I want more “meat”, if you know what I mean. I want stronger messages.

Fonsuea : Tell us, out of all the messages you have composed, which one is you most beloved one.

Wilf : Hmm a lot Let me think It has to be “One Late Afternoon (at McDonald’s)”. I have spent a lot a lot of time in creating the whole plot, with each individual interacts with each other. Believe me, I still enjoy reading it a lot. I guess it is kind of special and original as I’ve seen nobody has done it before. I want to be original.

Fonsuea : And it was a big hit.

Wilf : Very much so. The response was so great. At first, I thought no one will read such a long message but in the end, they did. Believe me, the response was overwhelming and it was least of my expect.

Fonsuea : And you are happy about it?

Wilf : More than thrilled.

Fonsuea : We understand that you’ve shut down WWWIS for more than a month. Would you like to tell us exactly what happened?

Wilf : That’s very personal. It was at the lowest point of my life and I just want to be isolated completely. Sometime when you are in pain, you just want more pain. I know it is hard to imagine but I do sometime enjoy pain.

Fonsuea : Oh, really?

Wilf : Yes. I just want to see how bad it can get.

Fonsuea : And how bad was it?

Wilf : Very bad. Indeed one of the lesson I’ve learnt is that – it can get a lot worse than what you would imagine.

Fonsuea : Have you got over you so-called “lowest point of life”?

Wilf : It’s all relative.

Fonsuea : But you do come back.

Wilf : Very luckily, with the support from all my friends.

Fonsuea : And you come back with a totally different image.

Wilf : That’s right. I fall in love with literature and poems and I began to write some modern poems myself. It took a lot of effect but I enjoyed it.

Fonsuea : That must be your so-called “Love Album”.

Wilf : Correct.

Fonsuea : What was the response?

Wilf : Very extreme. You either love it or hate it. I met with some random people and they love it so much that they asked me who is the author and what’s the title and so on. So I guess it isn’t that bad after all.

Fonsuea : I read it and I love it.

Wilf : You do?

Fonsuea : Very much so.

[Applause]

Wilf : Thank you. Thank you very much indeed.

Fonsuea : And this message is about different aspects of love, I suppose.

Wilf : Yes, you’re right. And I’d like to image love as an angel of her kind. Very angelic and takes into different forms.

Fonsuea : Do you always look forward for a reply or response?

Wilf : Initially, yes. But later on when I think of it clearly, I shall not expect anything at all. Sometimes it is just life and to the least, I have voiced out what I have to say. Whether they listen to me is not important anymore. Different people has different preferences and I just cannot expect them to response all the time.

Fonsuea : No expectation?

Wilf : No, just hoping.

Fonsuea : Just hoping?

Wilf : That’s correct. And it becomes a bonus in life when they actually reply. But honestly, I do get quite a satisfied number of response. That’s what keep me to go on. Keep trying and hoping that one day they will listen to me.

Fonsuea : And I guess you’ve put a lot of time and effort to each and every messages.

Wilf : You bet. As Prince once described that all of these are like all the little children waiting to be adopted.

Fonsuea : He did say that?

Wilf : Well, not exactly but something like that.

Fonsuea : “Different Approach” was composed just hours before you flight. Am I right?

Wilf : That’s correct. And I haven’t packed my luggage at that time.

Fonsuea : You must be very devoted to WWWIS then.

Wilf : What do you think?

Fonsuea : Absolutely.

[Applause]

Wilf : Thank you.

Fonsuea : Tell us about one of your latest release “One Simple Day”. It seems to me that it doesn’t have a very clear core message.

Wilf : Interesting that you’ve pointed it out. Indeed, by reading the quote, you should be able to figure out that it is all about love. Love at first sight to be exact. And actually, the three love stories are the core of the whole message with a lot of add-ons from my own mind. And if you read it carefully, what’s around the love stories is the dark side of me.

Fonsuea : The dark side of you?

Wilf : Yes, very much so. It was meant to be a contrast but can easily be overlooked if you “scan” the message instead of “read” the message.

Fonsuea : And that’s what most people do.

Wilf : That’s it. Guess they are too much attached with their own work and forget about everything else.

Fonsuea : And how’s the response so far?

Wilf : Response?

Fonsuea : The response to your new release.

Wilf : I’ve got three very good responses and nothing else so far. But that’s good enough for me. I am really happy about it.

Fonsuea : I am sure that there will be more good response coming. Right?

[Crowd shouts yes]

Wilf : Hope so.

Fonsuea : To tell you the truth, I just love it.

Wilf : Really? You are such a kind audience.

[Applause]

Fonsuea : How many messages have you composed so far?

Wilf : Very difficult question as I’ve a lot of other messages target to specific friends of mine.

Fonsuea : Give us a brief answer please.

Wilf : Well as for the common ones, 3 messages under the category of music, 6 messages under the category of news, another 11 for personal news, 32 messages under the category random and 5 on story. That gives me a total of

Fonsuea : That is 57!

[Music plays]

Wilf : Wow, I am surprised!

Fonsuea : Maybe, you should tell us what’s the secret in writing so many messages.

Wilf : How much time do I have?

Fonsuea : [laughs]

Wilf : The atmosphere is important. Once I’ve got an idea, I’ll start with it immediately. The simple ones are relatively easier to write. As for the complex ones, it usually takes me few days to draft out what I am trying to convey. In any case, I spend a few days to read it over and over again just to make sure that they are perfect.

Fonsuea : That takes time!

Wilf : It does. And when I finally get down on writing the messages, I will tune the surrounding to the nature of the message. Either turn down all the light or set the room bright. With the right kind of background music as well.

Fonsuea : I hope your effort has been well rewarded.

Wilf : It does. I just cannot tell you the feeling I have once I send one out to the net.

Fonsuea : One final question. Tell us, what do you think the future of WWWIS will be.

Wilf : I will try my best to be original and as long as I can connect to my mail server, this shall continue.

Fonsuea : And we wish you all the success and once again, thank you for joining us tonight. Ladies and gentleman, Wilf!

[Applause, Applause, Applause]

World Wide Wilf Interactive System (WWWIS)

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Diary From the Attic

Am I Getting Fed Up Living in Paris?

Can’t believe that I have watched “The Fifth Element” again.  This time was with Aurore.  We went for diner (hippo) and throughout the night, I have thoroughly enjoyed it.  She is a good company and has a lot of interesting stories regarding on all her missions.

Edwin really liked my message “One Simple Day” just like my last McDonald’s story long time ago.  Great guy, he is.

Claude is going off tomorrow morning at 11 and most likely, will not be seeing him in the near future.

Just eight more man-days and one more weekend in Paris.  When people asked me whether I got fed up with Paris or will I miss Paris and so on, I really don’t know.  I have nothing to look forward to but on the other hand, I welcome some varieties in life.  Therefore, I remain as neutral.  As I have said before, each time I come to Paris, I carry back some different memories.  This time will not be exceptional.

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Diary From the Attic

I Like to Watch Roller Skating Performance

What do I always say about plan?  Mohamed supposed to call me yesterday but he didn’t.  I was supposed to go out with Claude and Lionel for a drink but it was cancelled.  I was intended to watch the show “Hamlet” but I didn’t.  So what have I done in this two days?

Well, wrote one broadcast email and found it really hard to cook up any nowadays.  Where are all my ideas?  Have I lost them all?  I don’t know.  Hope not.  I really don’t know what happen to me.  Been smoking really too much and I really want to quit.

Finished the book “The Lost World” in two days’ time and have started the next one on dragons.  In the peace I am going, I may as well finish half of the book I bought over from US (which is not what I am intended to do).

Got an email from Sam that “Mission Unstoppable” has been accomplished (edit 2008.05.11: I think Sam was supposed to collect my stuffs from my ex-girlfriend’s place).  Feel a bit empty as there will not be any connection between JP and I.  Sad reality.  Really sad.

Interested in watching people do roller skating nowadays.  They have brought along a some kind of platform and placed it right in front of the “Grand Arche”.  They are supposed to jump over a certain height.  My favourite is one heroine, whom is the only girl there.  She is not doing very good right now but she is the only lady there.  A lot of pressure, must be.

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Diary From the Attic

A Peaceful Saturday

Saturday, as usual woke up late.  Called up Kah Lok and learnt that he has to return to KL for medical treatment.  Too many fits I suppose.  Sad that Rosana left him for it is too much stress.  Where are they when we need their spiritual support the most?

Been reading “The Lost World” the whole day.  Bought a CD – ERA and some souvenir

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From the Attic My Favorite

One Simple Day

Saturday is always a headache to me. Time can really be both your best friend, as well as your worst enemy. Planned something to do few days ago and never will I be able to comply. Either I have lost the mood or something unexpected come up. For me, no plan is the best plan.

Walking down the street unshaved under a warm sun. Lovers passing by and ah, I remembered three distinct love stories. Love takes different paths indeed. Not the time to tell them yet, just wait.

Entered a small caf and ordered a cup of coffee. Sat down in front of a Jackpot Machine and started to waste some time. Time just flied by and indeed, I thought a Jackpot Machine is just like a Happiness Machine. I will be surprised that someone can actually derive happiness from keep on pouring the coins into the machine without some great return. Or I shall say, one can derive happiness from hopping that some great return will arrive. Just like our day to day life. Ups and downs. You keep on suffering from pain but to hope that some great reward will come right in front of you. But who can really win from these machines?

Looking through the glass door, right in front of me was a square. Nice little fountain and look out! “Call the police there is a madman around!”, I thought loudly. Some people was feeding the pigeons. The PIGEONS. They eat junks and spread diseases. My friend called them, “The Flying Rats”, in which I totally agree with him. Funny that your emotion seems to erupt so suddenly when you are on your own.

Oh, I have nearly forgotten to mention my three real life love stories. Walked out of the caf with no win and no loss. Kept on walking along the river and thinking about the story of one to-be divorced Frenchman and one Vietnamese girl. Quite a sad story as the wife of the Frenchman walked out of him when she met with another man few weeks after their marriage. On the other hand, the Vietnamese girl’s family strongly against her relationship with another race. Lots of obstacles for them but I am sure they will end up living happily with each other. They are so much in love.

Musicians playing on the street and if they are good, I usually put some loose change as some kind of appreciation. Walked over a small bridge and in the middle sat a rugged dressed man holding a signboard “Cheap joke for a cheap deposit”.

“Good day,” I greeted him, “Do you speak English?” After all, I am not in an English speaking country.

“Are you an idiot? Can you read English?” replied the man pointing at the signboard.

I smiled embarrassing and sat down next to him. I dug into my pocket and pulled out a 5 franc coin. “What kind of joke will I get for this much?” I spoke.

“Cheap joke,” he replied. I tossed the coin into his hat lying on the floor. He looked at me and asked, “What’s your profession?”

“Me? Hmm a computer programmer,” I replied.

He remained silence for a while and asked, “Okay, have you heard of the joke about one businessman, one mechanic and one programmer who were stuck in the car?”

“Don’t think so. What about it?”

“Well, one day, while they were traveling in the car, it broke down. The businessman suggested to call AA and got the car fixed by either the AA guy or had it sent to the garage.”

“Logical,” I nodded my head.

“The mechanic suggested that he should take a look at the engine and see if it could be fixed,” the man continued.

“And?”

“And the programmer suggested that all three of them should exit the car and enter the car again and see if it worked this time,” the man stopped and drew out a cigarette.

I laughed, stood up and said, “That’s pretty good and it’s pretty cheap.” I must have heard of it somewhere else but could not remember. What the hell, just cheap jokes anyway and they all sound the same.

That is one thing good about cheap jokes; to enlighten your day. I took a look back and wondered what is the aim of that chap siting there and selling cheap jokes. I was used to think that to live is to play the script which has been written by (God). All your fate is determined and you just have to act. But to act it well or bad is entirely up to you. By saying that is just like saying nothing. Therefore I have discarded that idea long ago.

Watching the beautiful scenery in front of me reminded me of my Spanish-African mixed friend and his French girlfriend. Both of them love outdoor activities. Each and every weekend, they organize some outings with their friends or just the two of them. Either skiing or caving out of France. Truly romantic with all the beautiful scenery to feast upon. Of course, they are very much in love and I am sure they will end up living happily with each other.

Round the corner, there was one store called “Habitat”. Further down the road, there was one Burger King. Everywhere you go, the same chain of stores lying in front of your eyes. Some people think that Cyberspace or human unity will eventually destroy human evolution (or advancement). They claim that human beings advance faster if being placed in different isolated islands as compare to putting them together in a big continent. I cannot agree more to this as originality seems to diminish when everyone of us is sharing with the same kind of news and experience.

Lost count of how many miles I walked and magically, I returned to the same bridge. Feeling tired and sat next to that man again. I took out a one franc coin and asked, “What kind of joke will I get for one franc?”

“An even cheaper joke,” replied the man. As before, I deposited the coin into his hat and he began.

“One day, one French and an American was driving in Africa. The French stopped the car, took a picture of a lion from a distance and could not start the car again.”

“What? Again?” I interrupted.

“Just hold on. You wanted a cheaper one,” said the man impatiently.

“Five franc for three men and a car while one franc for two men, a car and a lion,” I thought.

The man continued, “The American suggested that they should remain quiet in the car and wait for the lion to go away. The French agreed and told him that it was indeed a good idea.”

“Did the lion go away?” I asked.

“Of course not! Otherwise, it would have been a story instead of a joke,” he starred at me. The man cleared his throat and spoke, “Half a day went by and the lion just stayed where it was. This time, the French suggested that they should wait until the lion went to sleep and walked away quietly.”

“And the lion didn’t sleep?”

The man shook his head, ignored me and said, “When the lion finally went to sleep, they both got out of the car quietly and walked towards the nearest town. Suddenly, they heard the lion came running after them. The American put down his backpack and searched for his pair of Reebok. The French was surprised and asked, ‘You are crazy! Do you think you can run faster than the lion?’. The American looked at the French and replied, ‘Of course not! But I can run faster than you!'”

I laughed and said, “That’s pretty good for one franc.” We sat quietly for a while and I tried to make conversation (rather than paying again), “Do you know that I write poems? Want to listen to some of them?”

He did not look at me and replied, “Really? But I won’t even pay a single cent for that.”

Felt a little bit offended and stood up, “Maybe next time.”

I felt quite hungry after a whole day’s walk. Bought a sandwich and a can of Coke. Sat down by the river and thought about the last love story. A handsome Jewish with his beautiful French girlfriend, both love at first sight. I was convinced that it only happens in fairy tales but it does happen in real life. They are getting married soon and I am sure they will end up living happily with each other forever and ever.

Felt really tired and returned to my room at dusk. Turned on the TV and watched some shows. TV is just like the best friend of man. Why? As it can never switch off on you. Instead, you are the one who switch it on and off anytime you prefer. It is meant to be entertaining. Also, you don’t really need a company to watch TV.

Violence in TV. Knives, guns and weapons. Why do mankind always invent something to destroy? And surprisingly, man kill each other according to their ‘belief’ while animal kill each other for survival. (Guess where I quote this two ideas from.)

Oh, not a very nice way to wrap up the day. Took out my literature and read my favorite lines again.

R: If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this; my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.
J: Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; for saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss.
R: Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?
J: Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.
R: O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do! They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.
J: Saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake.
R: Then move not while my prayer’s effect I take. Thus from my lips, by thine my sin is purged.
[Kisses her.]
J: Then have my lips the sin that they have took.
R: Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again.
[Kisses her.]
J: You kiss by th’ book.

From dust till dawn, sweet dream.

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Diary From the Attic

A Good Time at Sans Sanz

Seeing the BNP becomes a pain, don’t really know why but I found myself so difficult to fix it.  Everybody is so engrossed with their work and there was hardly any conversation.  For me, it is so hard to keep myself quite.  When I returned to SocGen, I felt like I returned to the paradise.

Michel will not be going to Cairo because he is a political refugee.  Aurore and Claude joked that I will have to go instead and I joked that I shall be having a holiday there instead.

At nine, I met up with Claude, Joe, Lionel, his girlfriend Mary and of course Claude’s sister who is from the south of France and currently having a holiday in Paris.  We went to a restaurant pub (called Sans Sanz).  Very trendy place and very cheap beer as well.  Our waitress is so cool.  I just love that type, slim and cool.

And Lionel’s girlfriend is so pretty, dressing in a Chinese costume. Slim and French.  They have met each other in SocGen and love at first sight in one of the training.  And they are even going to get married.  So nice of them.

And the dinner was very good. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.  I shall always remember the good time I have (reward).

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Diary From the Attic

One Nice Joke

I was in a very happy mood today . At least I know Colin won’t mind of my invasion.

Heard of one nice joke.  There was one businessman, one mechanic and one programmer on the road.  The car broke down and the businessman proposed that they should call for help and got the car into garage.  The mechanic suggested that he should open the bonnet and took a look at the engine.  The programmer suggested that they should all exit the car and enter again and see if it worked.

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Diary From the Attic

Jackpot Machine

Jackpot Machine can be thought as a happiness machine.  Putting coins in the machine can be thought as all the pain and unhappiness.  What happens is you keep on suffering hoping that some great rewards shall arrive.  But how many of us can win in the end?

Spent the whole morning calling up people.  Called up Jenny and got my date of arriving at Jakarta fixed.  Called up Ginger and has my flight detail booked.  Have to pay a lot more as there is no more seat available.  Called up Mum and told her my schedule.  Finally called up Toby and had a good chat.

In the afternoon, went over to BNP and had a training there.  Version 5 seems more sophisticated then the SocGen version.  Had a long coffee break with Alvin in one of the café nearby.  The last time we did it was in Singapore.

I had this craving for Japanese food.  Don’t know why.

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Diary From the Attic

A Dull Day

The dinner with Claude was, how should I say, dully interesting.  Why so? Well, the interesting part was that we have a few interesting people joined us.  One from Australia, another rugged look French guy, his girlie guy (“Sabasta”) and his sister who does not quite understand English at all.  Dull in the sense that most of the time, they spoke in French.  Also, we seemed to have quite a quiet group.  With the rainy weather, hence dull.

Today I thought of something.  TV can be man’s best friend.  Why? As it can never switch off by itself.  YOU switch it off.  And it is always entertaining.  Most importantly, you don’t really need a company to watch TV. Am I right?

Counting the days to go back to Singapore, or my next destination.