Sunday, that is. Forced myself to wake up this morning. Accompanied the maid and bought some household stuffs. Went over BUN and worked a while. CC called me back to chop up the chicken. We all have a lunch gathering. Then I went back to work a while and they all watched VCD.
Seeing CC and her boyfriend being so close hurt me so much. But I must always remember I am the third party and not the one in her heart.
To be frank, let’s hope that I have already hit the lowest point of my emotion. And I shall see a bright and clear path soon.
Easy said that done but at least I shall try to seek true happiness.
And not at all simple.
Got to sort out my work, my love, my friends and my family.
To some people, I may be lucky. To be single and lead a non-commit life. Free to see any body I like, free to do whatever I like.
The bottom line is: I have to experience as much as possible when I am young.
My heartbreaks, my disappointing role in the project, the slipping of my friends, the family back in Hong Kong I need to take care of really soon. The question is: shall I emerge in my non-prosperous love life, probably pursuing something that will end up like soap bubble? To be or not to be …
But which way to go?
Little things in life you just keep doing, without realising that it is the result of modern society. Maybe, that is why we are all so stressed today.
Tick … tick … tick …
What’s that? That is the modern invention that you keep looking at countless times a day. 2 pm appointment at Body Shop – you finish your meal at Bugis first and it says one-fifteen – so you go to the book store on the third floor, browse a few new novels, 1:32 already – queue up to buy a movie ticket but it takes longer than you expect, 1:41 you are still waiting wondering why the couple in front takes so long – your turn has finally arrived but it is full house for movie A – take another 15 seconds to decide to watch movie B instead – what? No decent seat? – 1:46 you rush down the escalator and the train arrives at 1:54.
You don’t expect you will be on time, do you?
So you consult your personal timer and keep hoping.
1:56 – 1:59 – 2:02 – 2:03 – 2:04 – 2:05
And you give up looking at the digits and try to relax. The stress level, of course, depends on who you are seeing.
Two-thirteen you arrive at Body Shop and …
You realised that he or she is late.
And you are probably stressed for nothing. Look at your time again and instead, you may feel a bit frustrated. Another ten minutes has gone and you start to wonder if your meeting point is correct.
Occasion like this makes you think that if knowing time in such a detail is such a necessity.
Think about this. Sometimes, time appears in a different form.
Jake the milkman will deliver my bottle of milk at my door at around seven in the morning. I can hear my newspaper hits my doorway at around seven-thirty. My neighbour, Auntie Mary, will go to market at around nine (banging of the door). I know Pete the postman will come before lunch time. Sitting by the window, a blue jeep will leave the place at two and come back around nine (the headlight is so bright!). The kids return from school at five to six and start playing football just outside of where I live. I can even tell Friday night from the loud music playing downstairs. The pub gets really noisy between nine to eleven. Silence only come after midnight.
Ah … isn’t that wonderful?
So next time, try this.
Me : Where and when shall we meet tomorrow?
You : Body Shop after lunch.
Life can be so much relaxing. Don’t you think so?
Talk about asking question, I am sure at one point in time, one must have faced this question.
– I’ve got one good news and one bad news, which one would you like to hear first?
This really could have been another “Interactive Question of the Week”. The result I beg is half half.
But only recently do I realised that one should always listen to the good news first. By listening to the good news first, the chances that you may feel less depress over the bad one is pretty high. Listening to the bad one first may make the good news less wonderful. What do you think?
And of course, the assumption is that : given a chance to be happy or not to be, the majority should choose to be, consciously.
Excuse me. Suddenly my bio-clock has told me that it is about time to rest. So till the next time we interact, take care.
Wilf.numb@Jakarta
Last night I have stayed up very late Powerpointing. And today’s training was so successful and they applauded at the end.
Not bad, huh?
Seeing CC and her boyfriend so close to each other hurts me so much.
C’est la vie.
One good news is that I have finally be able to compile all the Replication programs.
And we went for a project dinner with the AC team on third floor. Very nice restaurant and we were sitting near to one of the partner from Australia.
In the lift, I gave CC good hug and a kiss. Damn, I miss those feelings.
Gone back to Singapore for the weekend. Living without time is really something like “break the habit”. More or less, I have achieved what I wanted to do in Singapore. How much have I spent? I hope is something less than SGD 700.
I think I was very depressed over the weekend. Even I went out with Annie on Saturday, I was not happy. But right now, I feel a lot better. I have got what I want to have. All my CDs and books, the kettle and coffee machine, all went through the custom. I hope I will be happy for another six months.
After starting reading the book “Mars and Venus on a Date”, I realise that if I close my heart (i.e. still feel very sad over my last heartbreak), I will not be able to find anyone close “the right one”. As for CC, I need to go through the 5 steps probably. Or do I want to mess it up again? I guess not.
Have a happy life in Jakarta, Wilfrid!
I lost my watch tonight.
What happened to me this year? I have lost my first girlfriend after 4 years of relationship. I now lost my watch which has been with me for 4 years.
At that very moment, I am afraid of losing anything at all. In life, you just cannot take things for granted. What if I lose CC?
Oh God, I just don’t want to think about it.
I need time. I just need time.
It has been quite a long time since I have become so moody during work. There is so much uncertainty between me and CC. Sometimes I cannot feel that loving feeling any more. But why? We went to Walmart together and it all seems to sparkle again. I hope we can still ”˜sparkle’ after her boyfriend has left.
God, I love that girl.
What an interesting weekend. I went off alone to venture Jakarta. After all, it is not such a bad place. Went to Gym and met with CC and her boyfriend. Man, I miss that girl.
Called up JP and had a nice chat (in Cantonese) …
Wonder what will happen between me and CC.
Long time haven’t logged down what I have done. Well, I just go crazy over CC and I hope she loves me too. Besides the … I have in my life, we feel very happy and comfortable with each other. Just that her boyfriend has arrived in Jakarta, I seldom get to hold and kiss her. And I really miss her nowadays. Last night I could not sleep. Life has once again become so unpredictable.