Tag: depression

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Diary From the Attic

Weekend in Singapore

Gone back to Singapore for the weekend.  Living without time is really something like “break the habit”.  More or less, I have achieved what I wanted to do in Singapore.  How much have I spent?  I hope is something less than SGD 700.

I think I was very depressed over the weekend.  Even I went out with Annie on Saturday, I was not happy.  But right now, I feel a lot better.  I have got what I want to have.  All my CDs and books, the kettle and coffee machine, all went through the custom.  I hope I will be happy for another six months.

After starting reading the book “Mars and Venus on a Date”, I realise that if I close my heart (i.e. still feel very sad over my last heartbreak), I will not be able to find anyone close “the right one”.  As for CC, I need to go through the 5 steps probably.  Or do I want to mess it up again?  I guess not.

Have a happy life in Jakarta, Wilfrid!

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From the Attic Memorable Events

Will I be Ever In Love Again?

I am back again.  After a long silence.  Yes, I have broken up with JP. And I was (still?) feeling very depressed about this.  Oh, love.  Francis phoned me the same day just to check I was okay.  He phoned at 0630 but I did not mind.  At least somebody is care about me.  And I received a few emails concerning about me.

This morning, I found that the bracelet that was given by JP was broken into two.  I take it as a sign.  That is fate.

During this few days, I have watched two movies.  “Jerry Maguire” and “The English Patient”. Both films are good.  I loved “Jerry Maguire”.  That is Tom Cruse and it was so romantic.  That is what I need right now.  Michel invited me for dinner and I meet with that “Doctor” again.  This time we talked about God and soul and life and so on.  Weird?

I don’t think JP and I will ever get together again.  Just another phase of life.  I cannot help feeling depressed but I cannot help but feeling relief as well.  Some days I hoped that she will actually come to Paris and meet me and we will be in love again.  But I know it is just another dream that I am trying to create and will not work.  Sigh.

And I have lost all aim of life.  I am not sure what is my next destination.  I was thinking of going back to university and do a Ph.D.  Why not?  Or I shall ask Toby and get me a job in UK.  I can do just anything now.

Will I be ever in love in the near future?  I just don’t know.  Maybe I shall enjoy a moment of alone.

Categories
Diary From the Attic

What If I Take up a Job in Paris?

I am so obsess with my short story that I virtually spent all last night (except Jay Leno’s Show) reading over and over.  And busy returning mail to my friends.

Willie invited me to go over to his place (with his girlfriend) one weekend.  How sweet of him!  He told me a little secret that they will be getting married soon.  That’s really great news.  What age am I in now as I hear more and more people get married.

Aurore hinted again that she wanted to hire me.  I am really confused right now and don’t really know what I want to do with my life.  In addition, I feel kind of a distance between my girlfriend and my family.  What have I done to myself?

Today was Thursday so I announced that let’s talk about weekend now as I don’t really want to talk about weekend on every Friday. It is so depressing, you know.