Server was down most of the day and really, I got really bored. Had a haircut. And watched the film “Absolute Power”. What else can I do in Paris?
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Category: From the Attic
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Tried
Spent the whole day in the office talking about sex Mohamed. Can’t believe it. What? Mohamed had sex with 2 Italians on a mountain? Hard to believe but may as well be true.
I am so tired. Watched the show “Powder” on Pay TV and it is oh so touching.
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Stripped, Shattered
I had nightmare again. Too many nightmare nowadays. Car crash, arrested by Chinese government, bullets in my legs, sick surgeon. I really can’t stand it.
The whole weekend alone. Mohamed didn’t call as promised. So lonely and my mind was set to JP again. What is love? What is hate? To love is to hate. To hate is to love. Do I still love her? But it is not love anymore if it is one-sided. So cruel of her to leave me alone here in Paris suffering the heartbreak. How can she? For we have been in love for four years. From time to time, I dream that she will be there when I return to Singapore. But why should I dream that for it has already been to late. Far too late for any remedy to take place. God doesn’t help me at all. Time heal? It isn’t true. Not true at all. I still feel the very pain even after 2 months.
I am yearning for everlasting true love.
Went to WH Smiths and bought the book “Hamlet”. Published by Oxford University Press of course. Watched the move “Michael Collin”. A tragedy. Too many tragedies nowadays. Had a Mexican meal in the cold. What else should I have done for my last weekend in Paris (this mission)?
I miss her so dearly. It is just not fair to the way it turns out. Why she dumped me? What’s wrong with me? And she is so happy. Yes, so happy without my presence. Shall I be happy for her for shall I be sad for myself. All my grief and sorrow and nothing can ever mend this broken heart of mine.
Life is so unfair. Life is so unpredictable. And she striped me down to nothing. Shatter my dreams, shatter my future, shatter all my hopes and leave me homeless in this foreign land, in Singapore. Striped away all the joy I was used to have.
Shall I welcome my next stage of life?
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In the End, Hamlet Died
Got up quite late and went to my favourite cinema and bought a ticket for the show “Hamlet”. Dashed to my favourite restaurant (Japanese) and they opened it earlier especially for me.
Arrived just on time for the show and got a really lousy seat. Anyway it wasn’t that bad. Knowing the show would last for four hours, I came well mentally prepared.
A very good show indeed. The third Shakespeare show. And why do they always want to produce a tragic piece? I have no idea. In the end, Hamlet died.
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I Hate Parting
They are going to organize a farewell party for me. How nice! On Monday, Michel, Noubi and Laurent will leave for Cairo and will not be seeing them in the near future. From time to time, I do feel quite emotional towards it.
I hate parting.
And towards the end of the night, Michel has invited me to dine with him and his wife in the same Chinese restaurant again. As I have nothing planned, it was really very nice of them. We played “Black Maria “ till 2 am. I lost the first game. And made three continuous mistake in the second game, hence lost. But it was really funny. Something like this. Merela first wanted to “take all” but I stopped her with a big sacrifice. Subsequently, she wanted to “take all” again and I managed to stop her. But the sad thing was I took the spade of queen by mistake. In the third try, I did not stop her but I could have done so.
But as for the last game, I won by mile! And Michel lost.
Really sad that I have to part with Merela and God knows when I will be seeing her again. Really sad.
Spent more than half a day in drafting the final status report. Feel a bit of void right now. You see, really void. I will miss my clients and the project itself.
And of course, I will miss Paris.
The Spanish food tonight was alright. A bit far away (beyond Chatelet). Funny that tonight during dinner time, I thought of JP again. Thought of how nice it would have been if she was with me right now. That idea sprang up when I was thinking of whether I should order some dessert afterwards. I don’t like dessert but I know she loves it. She would have love to have some dessert.
Oh, dear old history and so much in pain.
Watched the movie “Beautiful Girls” on pay TV. Very lovely show and make sure I’ll buy the DVD version later on when DVD gets popular – just like CD. And I was thinking if in the future, I can “record” some of the best scene and put it into one DVD. Just like the old days when you record some of your favourite and place them into one tape. Would have been nice.
Claude has finally left for Cairo and I took over his desk. Just too relax nowadays.
My long awaiting Mylene Farmer Live album has finally arrived. Just tell you how much I obsess with it. Went to Rue Montmatre wanted to dine at TGIF. Instead, I walked into a record store, Extrapole, and discovered this beautiful album. As I always buy CD from FNAC (for tax return purposes), I travel all the way to Chatelet and found that I was five minutes late. Knowing that the FNAC in La Defense closed at eight, I rushed back to La Defense and walked into FNAC five minutes before it was closed.
Quite an exciting and interesting day for me.
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Interview with Wilf
This is for those of you who have briefly followed my messages and those of you who are interested in how I feel from time to time. This is very likely the last message composed in Paris and I hope you enjoy.
Wilf
[Music plays]
Narrator : Welcome to the best show in town, and please welcome
[Drum rolls]
Narrator : tonight’s hostess – Fonsuea!
[Glamorous Fonsau walks in with cheer from the crowd]
Fonsuea : Thank you. Thank you very much. Welcome to the show. We have a very special guest tonight and please welcome the founder of World Wide Wilf Interactive System – Wilf!
[More applause as Wilf walks in and exchanges a kiss with Fonsau]
Fonsuea : It’s good to have you here with us tonight. Tell us Wilf, why do you name it as WWWIS?
Wilf : Well, one of my colleague, Miranda, named it for me. We thought it is quite cool to interpret WWW as World Wide Wilf. Also later on, I really wish to interact with the people around me, hence “Interactive System”.
Fonsuea : Tell us more about WWWIS.
Wilf : Really, if you read the contents carefully, every message has an important message that I would like to put through to the ones I care. I am not good at aimless jokes. To expand one’s imagination remains one of my main goal.
[Applause]
Fonsuea : How nice! I bet a lot of people have asked you where your ideas come from.
Wilf : You bet. Initially, it was from my insanity as I was being so isolated. Eventually, I accepted and even welcomed this isolation and later on, I was obsessed with the philosophy of void or nothingness.
Fonsuea : And you’ve got a lot of people worried about you, haven’t you?
Wilf : Regretfully yes. But I am a very direct kind of people and just can’t stand to keep quiet all the time. I love to share and hear what other people think.
Fonsuea : Back to your origin of idea
Wilf : Ah, yes. Idea seems to evolve when you isolate yourself with the people around you. You no longer share the common news and experience but to experience your very own adventure. And of course, many ideas keep popping out of my mind and it is so hard to grab them all.
Fonsuea : We understand that once you said you are addicted to broadcast message to all your dear friends. When did it really begin?
Wilf : It all started with the new Prince album and I just cannot hide my joy. Overjoyed indeed.
Fonsuea : And you just continue from then on?
Wilf : Indeed, you are right.
Fonsuea : And your debut is “Win 95 Insanity”. Tell us where did you get this idea from.
Wilf : I must admit that a lot of people love this message a lot. I was thinking of writing something original and viola, why not write something about Window 95.
Fonsuea : Your early materials were focused on your experience in restaurant. But why?
Wilf : The answer is very simple. I spent most of my free time at restaurant and it is amazing on the people you met.
Fonsuea : Like?
Wilf : Once I met a Dutch politician. And we had a very interesting conversation. Talk about politics and you know what I mean. Another time was like this. Most of the time, people converse in French all around me and I am used to not being able to understand what’s going on. For once, I was in a Thai restaurant and on one side, two ladies conversed in English and one the other side, a couple conversed in Cantonese. Most bizarre experience as these are the only two languages I know of.
Fonsuea : That must be. Okay, so far we talk about all your success, have your encountered any failure?
Wilf : Certainly. Hmm let me think. Ah, the story about “Mad Cow – C’est Moi/Toi?” seems to be a big flop.
Fonsuea : Oh, really? How come?
Wilf : People took it too literally and it was not the message I was trying to convey. Of course, from the replies, I know the group of people who is interested in animals.
Fonsuea : What does “C’est Moi” and “C’est Toi” mean by the way.
Wilf : In French, it means “It’s me”, “It’s you”.
Fonsuea : What were you trying to convey?
Wilf : Think of the living cow when you order beef next time.
Fonsuea : Very inspiring thought!
[Applause and music plays]
Wilf : Indeed that was what I thought but some of my audiences think that I have hallucination. Some of them even asked me to return to Singapore and restore my sanity.
Fonsuea : Oh, how sad.
Wilf : Very sad but that’s life.
Fonsuea : Were you really you know
Wilf : Yes?
Fonsuea : Insane?
Wilf : Up to a certain extend, yes. The worst message I have ever composed is “Final : The UMM Crashed!!” Guess I have taken it too far but I couldn’t control myself at that time. Believe me, I just couldn’t.
Fonsuea : I heard that you’ve come back to Paris the second time and soon, continued to compose messages. And that was the time when WWWIS was created.
Wilf : That’s right.
Fonsuea : Have you finally restored your insanity when you were back to Singapore for 3 weeks?
Wilf : I think I’ve become more mature and more stable.
Fonsuea : So there is a difference between the messages from this two different periods of time.
Wilf : Very much. I want more “meat”, if you know what I mean. I want stronger messages.
Fonsuea : Tell us, out of all the messages you have composed, which one is you most beloved one.
Wilf : Hmm a lot Let me think It has to be “One Late Afternoon (at McDonald’s)”. I have spent a lot a lot of time in creating the whole plot, with each individual interacts with each other. Believe me, I still enjoy reading it a lot. I guess it is kind of special and original as I’ve seen nobody has done it before. I want to be original.
Fonsuea : And it was a big hit.
Wilf : Very much so. The response was so great. At first, I thought no one will read such a long message but in the end, they did. Believe me, the response was overwhelming and it was least of my expect.
Fonsuea : And you are happy about it?
Wilf : More than thrilled.
Fonsuea : We understand that you’ve shut down WWWIS for more than a month. Would you like to tell us exactly what happened?
Wilf : That’s very personal. It was at the lowest point of my life and I just want to be isolated completely. Sometime when you are in pain, you just want more pain. I know it is hard to imagine but I do sometime enjoy pain.
Fonsuea : Oh, really?
Wilf : Yes. I just want to see how bad it can get.
Fonsuea : And how bad was it?
Wilf : Very bad. Indeed one of the lesson I’ve learnt is that – it can get a lot worse than what you would imagine.
Fonsuea : Have you got over you so-called “lowest point of life”?
Wilf : It’s all relative.
Fonsuea : But you do come back.
Wilf : Very luckily, with the support from all my friends.
Fonsuea : And you come back with a totally different image.
Wilf : That’s right. I fall in love with literature and poems and I began to write some modern poems myself. It took a lot of effect but I enjoyed it.
Fonsuea : That must be your so-called “Love Album”.
Wilf : Correct.
Fonsuea : What was the response?
Wilf : Very extreme. You either love it or hate it. I met with some random people and they love it so much that they asked me who is the author and what’s the title and so on. So I guess it isn’t that bad after all.
Fonsuea : I read it and I love it.
Wilf : You do?
Fonsuea : Very much so.
[Applause]
Wilf : Thank you. Thank you very much indeed.
Fonsuea : And this message is about different aspects of love, I suppose.
Wilf : Yes, you’re right. And I’d like to image love as an angel of her kind. Very angelic and takes into different forms.
Fonsuea : Do you always look forward for a reply or response?
Wilf : Initially, yes. But later on when I think of it clearly, I shall not expect anything at all. Sometimes it is just life and to the least, I have voiced out what I have to say. Whether they listen to me is not important anymore. Different people has different preferences and I just cannot expect them to response all the time.
Fonsuea : No expectation?
Wilf : No, just hoping.
Fonsuea : Just hoping?
Wilf : That’s correct. And it becomes a bonus in life when they actually reply. But honestly, I do get quite a satisfied number of response. That’s what keep me to go on. Keep trying and hoping that one day they will listen to me.
Fonsuea : And I guess you’ve put a lot of time and effort to each and every messages.
Wilf : You bet. As Prince once described that all of these are like all the little children waiting to be adopted.
Fonsuea : He did say that?
Wilf : Well, not exactly but something like that.
Fonsuea : “Different Approach” was composed just hours before you flight. Am I right?
Wilf : That’s correct. And I haven’t packed my luggage at that time.
Fonsuea : You must be very devoted to WWWIS then.
Wilf : What do you think?
Fonsuea : Absolutely.
[Applause]
Wilf : Thank you.
Fonsuea : Tell us about one of your latest release “One Simple Day”. It seems to me that it doesn’t have a very clear core message.
Wilf : Interesting that you’ve pointed it out. Indeed, by reading the quote, you should be able to figure out that it is all about love. Love at first sight to be exact. And actually, the three love stories are the core of the whole message with a lot of add-ons from my own mind. And if you read it carefully, what’s around the love stories is the dark side of me.
Fonsuea : The dark side of you?
Wilf : Yes, very much so. It was meant to be a contrast but can easily be overlooked if you “scan” the message instead of “read” the message.
Fonsuea : And that’s what most people do.
Wilf : That’s it. Guess they are too much attached with their own work and forget about everything else.
Fonsuea : And how’s the response so far?
Wilf : Response?
Fonsuea : The response to your new release.
Wilf : I’ve got three very good responses and nothing else so far. But that’s good enough for me. I am really happy about it.
Fonsuea : I am sure that there will be more good response coming. Right?
[Crowd shouts yes]
Wilf : Hope so.
Fonsuea : To tell you the truth, I just love it.
Wilf : Really? You are such a kind audience.
[Applause]
Fonsuea : How many messages have you composed so far?
Wilf : Very difficult question as I’ve a lot of other messages target to specific friends of mine.
Fonsuea : Give us a brief answer please.
Wilf : Well as for the common ones, 3 messages under the category of music, 6 messages under the category of news, another 11 for personal news, 32 messages under the category random and 5 on story. That gives me a total of
Fonsuea : That is 57!
[Music plays]
Wilf : Wow, I am surprised!
Fonsuea : Maybe, you should tell us what’s the secret in writing so many messages.
Wilf : How much time do I have?
Fonsuea : [laughs]
Wilf : The atmosphere is important. Once I’ve got an idea, I’ll start with it immediately. The simple ones are relatively easier to write. As for the complex ones, it usually takes me few days to draft out what I am trying to convey. In any case, I spend a few days to read it over and over again just to make sure that they are perfect.
Fonsuea : That takes time!
Wilf : It does. And when I finally get down on writing the messages, I will tune the surrounding to the nature of the message. Either turn down all the light or set the room bright. With the right kind of background music as well.
Fonsuea : I hope your effort has been well rewarded.
Wilf : It does. I just cannot tell you the feeling I have once I send one out to the net.
Fonsuea : One final question. Tell us, what do you think the future of WWWIS will be.
Wilf : I will try my best to be original and as long as I can connect to my mail server, this shall continue.
Fonsuea : And we wish you all the success and once again, thank you for joining us tonight. Ladies and gentleman, Wilf!
[Applause, Applause, Applause]
World Wide Wilf Interactive System (WWWIS)
Can’t believe that I have watched “The Fifth Element” again. This time was with Aurore. We went for diner (hippo) and throughout the night, I have thoroughly enjoyed it. She is a good company and has a lot of interesting stories regarding on all her missions.
Edwin really liked my message “One Simple Day” just like my last McDonald’s story long time ago. Great guy, he is.
Claude is going off tomorrow morning at 11 and most likely, will not be seeing him in the near future.
Just eight more man-days and one more weekend in Paris. When people asked me whether I got fed up with Paris or will I miss Paris and so on, I really don’t know. I have nothing to look forward to but on the other hand, I welcome some varieties in life. Therefore, I remain as neutral. As I have said before, each time I come to Paris, I carry back some different memories. This time will not be exceptional.
What do I always say about plan? Mohamed supposed to call me yesterday but he didn’t. I was supposed to go out with Claude and Lionel for a drink but it was cancelled. I was intended to watch the show “Hamlet” but I didn’t. So what have I done in this two days?
Well, wrote one broadcast email and found it really hard to cook up any nowadays. Where are all my ideas? Have I lost them all? I don’t know. Hope not. I really don’t know what happen to me. Been smoking really too much and I really want to quit.
Finished the book “The Lost World” in two days’ time and have started the next one on dragons. In the peace I am going, I may as well finish half of the book I bought over from US (which is not what I am intended to do).
Got an email from Sam that “Mission Unstoppable” has been accomplished (edit 2008.05.11: I think Sam was supposed to collect my stuffs from my ex-girlfriend’s place). Feel a bit empty as there will not be any connection between JP and I. Sad reality. Really sad.
Interested in watching people do roller skating nowadays. They have brought along a some kind of platform and placed it right in front of the “Grand Arche”. They are supposed to jump over a certain height. My favourite is one heroine, whom is the only girl there. She is not doing very good right now but she is the only lady there. A lot of pressure, must be.