Category: From the Attic

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Diary From the Attic

If Only Life Works out Differently

Last night I slept very late having online chat with a lot of great guys.  Somehow we went into the topic of writing literature, and this UK guy “Dead Calm” and I was talking about Swan Lake (one lady elegant, educated with American culture called Swan).  And we wrote a lot of stuffs online.  Finally I posted one of my message “Death Marriage” out and some guys even chatted with me privately and asked me who is author and so on.  I was so thrill and was really in joy.

Towards the end, I was chatting was an American woman and she suggested to have phone sex today.  And I didn’t call.

Therefore, I woke up feeling pretty bad.  Logged onto Notes and found that the office rejected my holiday plan (of paying).  Even I was worried that I do not possess a valid visa to USA.  What a bad day!

One more thing, a very bizarre dream.  I dreamt of visiting my ex.  I knocked onto the door and found two women inside her room.  It was kind of an authentic place.  Small room with wooden furniture.  A small bed with bed light.  A table and a very decent window.  It must be evening.  I asked for my ex.  One of the women asked another one to leave the room and vaguely she (the one who remained in the room) told me that my ex had left and would not want to see me.

Then she told me I can sleep on the right side of the bed while she would talk the left side.  And suddenly a drop dead beautiful (white) lady who dressed like an angel came into the room.  Talked to me but I hardly remember what she said!  All I could remember was she was very pleasant.

And she left the room.  My ex walked in.  She looked so thin!  And she sat down by the bed.  I sat next to her and began to chat.  And she looked darker as well.  I touched her fingers and all a sudden, I found that she was actually me!

And I woke up.

I asked Mohamed and he has no answer for me.

Today I told Mohamed in a very convincing voice: I want to go home.  Really, I am tired of being in Paris.  I miss JP a lot.  Tonight after a dinner at my favorite restaurant, I thought of buying my friends presents (budget FF1,000) and I want to buy JP one too.  Oh, I miss her.  If only life works out differently.

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From the Attic

My Paris Collection – Death Marriage – Alternative Lyrics

For Love is sacred, for Love is pure. Bearing the misery of us. Bringing along with her all our sufferings. She stepped into the Gate of Hell. Thousands of years she has been embracing us. Binding us in harmony. Modern concept is not a place for Love no more.

What is love?

A volcano ready to erupt. Crows fly high above screaming along with the army’s shriek. The Army of Death. Will we ever stand a chance?

Love stands tall watching the movement underneath. The agents of Love will be with her till the last moment.

What is sacrifice?

Hell is illusion. Hell stinks. Death thinks that he has consumed Love. But Love has dissipated herself to all of us. She has proved eternity.

And this shall engrave onto the Monument of Love.

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Diary From the Attic

Friends to Confide In

This morning was such a good start.  Francis called me up at 8 and I had a nice good chat with him.  Basically, his advise was to remain in VTF until promotion.  He is currently into J P Morgan project doing some Year 2000 enhancements.  He would love to bring me in but he is thinking about my future as well.  Nice guy.

Had enough sleep, that’s the key to start a good day.  This morning, I had nothing to do so I went up to see Lionel and discussed with the Functional Team about MUE.  I think “New Sophie” is quite charming.

Had lunch with Mohamed and we ate pizza.  Had dinner with him again and ate Tunisian food.  That guy is seriously thinking of quitting the firm and I do not object his doing so.  I mean he has not been treated correctly.  Screwed up management, that is. 

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Diary From the Attic

25 More Man-days in Paris

Monday, status report again.  This time, I think I am quite nasty towards the Function Team as I am really not happy about the reliability SIR.  Guess they got the message.  Damn me.  I should have some self-control but I think there has been too much stress, especially between the Technical and Function Team.  And I am somehow swallowed into this whirlpool.

Had a heart to heart chat with Mohamed after work and found that he has found 2 contracts.  Good for him.  One is to develop compiler and linker for object orientated programming for AS4000.  Bizarre!  Another is project management for Electronic Documentation.

Had a nice Japanese food again.  This time, the staffs know me and gave me quite a huge portion.  The beauty of this is to be able to converse in Cantonese.

Somehow tonight, I kind of dreaming that JP will write me an email as ask if she can come back to my arm again.  I still cannot forget, can I?

25 more man days in Paris and I am gone.  Time passes, isn’t it?

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Diary From the Attic

Still Not Dare to Eat Steak Tartar (Yet)

Woke up really late.  In fact if “room service” never called me this afternoon, I would have slept a little bit longer.  As usual, had my “standard” lunch which is cheese and bread, fruit salad, a cup of tea and this time, a glass of Martini as well.  What a wonderful life.

Spent the whole day writing up a document on MUE for William.  Took me several hours to do it.  But after all, I don’t have anything better to do anyway.  Called up Grace and had a dinner with her.  We went to a very nice restaurant and really wanted to try the Steak Tartar but had rump steak in pepper source instead.

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Diary From the Attic

My Partner of Life Would be Ideally …

Woke up at ten.  First time in history because Cecile invited me for a lunch at her place.  I mean Cecile is quite a woman.  French woman and truly feminine. I  have never seem someone as feminine as her.  Wow!  She is slim with 2 kids (and not married!).  Her boyfriend come home once in a week (I guess) and she has to take care of 2 kids of theirs.  Quite incredible.  And she reads a lot of books as well and she knows quite a number of poems.

That makes me wonder who shall be my partner of life. She would be ideally:

  • Feminine
  • Love children
  • Have strong opinion of her own (and clever)
  • Like to read and appreciate literature (hopefully be artistic)
  • Give me security and love me
  • Get along well with my family
  • Love nature

Cecile’s friend is a civil engineer and he has got a wife and a kid as well.  Hence throughout the whole Saturday afternoon, I was with three kids.  Do I like kids at all?  Maybe I do love to have my own kids.

And in the evening, I met up with Alvin and Pui (from HK).  I seriously think there is something going on between those two.  I hate to go out in threesome.  I swear I shall try to avoid this in the future.  We had Mexican food before the movie (Dante’s Peak).  I kind of like the visual effect but I don’t think they appreciated it at all.  Too picky.

I suggested to take a walk to the Eiffel Tower but it was not lit up at all.  We wanted to have a drink but there wasn’t any at that area.  We then went to Rue Montmartre (near their hotel) and had a drink.  It was a Karaoke Bar and I had a beer.

Too much alcohol nowadays and I do have craving for alcohol.  Kind of scary, isn’t it?

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From the Attic

My Paris Collection – Coming out of Water (Prelude to Love Album)

Thunder rolls and the sky cracks opened. Dark dense clouds circulates above the ocean. A beam of light shines onto the sea. Bubbles release from the surface. Small bubbles. Big bubbles. Signify the rise of a monument that shall stand to the end of time.

Thunder roars and the lightning strikes. Chase away the vicious darkness. The earth shakes with the boom of the blast. Creature gathers together. Small creatures. Big creatures. Witness the rise of a monument that shall stand to the end of time.

A heart made of steel. No rust shall ever corrupt this beautiful statue. Steel came from the purifying furnace, no scar shall penetrate deeper than just the surface. Seven angels sing, accomplish by the harmony coming from seven beautiful instruments.

Celebrate this moment of time. Enormous as it shall be, it stands proudly above the water. Colored fume whirls and wraps around this statue. Slowly, the statue takes its form.

A different time, a different form. Does that matter? And the obelisk of time, life and joy is once again reconstructed.

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Diary From the Attic

In the Dark?

This afternoon I called up Benny and found that he has not read my email that was sent to him more than 2 weeks ago.  And he told me that all the family members were in the dark not knowing what was happened between me and her sister.  Too me, it is really over.  I shall not approach her again and beg for her love.  Maybe if she does it, I may have a second thought.

This evening, I met up with the BNP team.  Had a very long dinner and had a drink.  I nearly missed my last train (4 min).  Lucky me.  Otherwise, I wouldn’t want to walk.

And this morning, this French Lady called me and asked if I am free tomorrow for a lunch.  Why not?  She has 2 kids and a boyfriend.  I hope it would be interesting.  For that, I will miss the BNP team in La Defense.

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Diary From the Attic

First Time I Gave Training

Today was the big day for me because it was the first time I gave training.  I have always wanted to give lecture and so on.  And finally it came true.  I thoroughly enjoyed it.  Funny thing was at some point in time, some of my clients actually feeling very tired but I hoped I have made it interesting enough to keep them awake.  It was after all, a very good experience.

And I have bought the Bee Gee’s new album.  I love the song “Alone”.  Kind of suit my lifestyle right now.

Claude took me to a restaurant and told me that it would be good.  It was Fauchon.  There was one in Singapore (Christmas diner, remember?)  The atmosphere was very good.  Very yellow and light colored. Candles and large plants.  And it was very expensive too.

Suddenly feel very tired and feel like falling sick again.  Oh, no.

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Diary From the Attic

Mail Server Crashed, Not That I Quit

Aurore stopped me from swearing in French.  Most shocking.  Anyway, I shouldn’t do it to start with.  Got an image to maintain, you know.

Received an email from Doug praising me that my status report was very good.  Well, he didn’t exactly say that.  What he said was my most recent status report is a lot better than my previous ones.  But at least I know he reads.  Kind of happy over this.

Noubi issued another nonsense SIR.  I rejected it and he rejected my rejection.  Me and him, always at war.  But I just love to have war with him.  Kind of keep my heart pumping.  As for work, my non-customer report seems to work out fine.  Just that now I have to put all the 10 reports into one.  One good challenge.

Tomorrow, I am going to give my very first training session.  And the first in my life.  I think I’ve come well prepared and I hope it should work out okay.

Called up Sam and in fact, he was worried that I have quited the firm (without notifying him).  I told him not to worry, just the mail server crashed last week.  He suggested that I should talk with my ex face to face.  What is there to talk about?  Don’t think we’ll ever come back together anyway.  Right?

Walking down the Champs-Elysees, looking for a restaurant have my dinner.  It is really a headache nowadays to hunt for a restaurant.  I ended up in St. Clement, the one I used to go very often (for my oysters).  And finally, got to try my white Martini.  I love Martini, red or white.