Category: My Opinion

Categories
Book Reviews Non-Fiction

Evangelizing Google+ And What The Plus! By Guy Kawasaki

It has been more than a year since I have joined the social network Google+.  Prior to that, I was pretty active in Facebook.  The decision to leave Facebook was not easy.  Because I have plenty of friends over there whom we interacted by the minute.  On top of that, I have a Twitter account.  I was used to tap onto the news of the world as often as I checked and updated the Facebook status.  When I got to try out Google+, thanks to a beta invite, immediately I have recognized something special about the then-new social network.  Something I could not pinpoint.  I have dropped Facebook almost completely except the couple of minutes I spend every other day.  And have gradually dropped Twitter.  I value my social networks.  But I do not have the time to commit to all of them out there.  There is no lukewarm commitment when it comes to building a new network.  You either in, or out.  At least for some of us who have a full time job and that social networking has no apparent benefits to our work.

So it was a clean start, with Google+.  I have struggled for half a year, trying to find my way and get more from it.  I am a persistence type, so I hang on, momentarily enjoyed the quietness due to a sudden drop of digital interaction.  Many friends whom I managed to convince did not stay in Google+ for long.  Because they could not find what they were looking for.  Fair enough.  Then something happened, that totally changed what Google+ means to me.  I began to actively interact with strangers who have similar hobbies and interests, a good sense of humor and maturity.  In return, they interact with me.  I approached Google+ with the Facebook mindset.  That did not work at all.  Google+ is a tool for you to circle interesting people, interact with strangers and develop relationship.  The growth of your network could be exponential.  It is less of a tool to add real life friends onto your existing network, which is what Facebook is for.  It is more of a tool to find new people from all over the world, beyond your real life social circles.

Guy Kawasaki – the author of What the Plus! – has accurately described what some of the major social networks are for.  That pinpoints the reason why I embrace Google+.  That is passions.

Twitter = Perceptions.

Facebook = People.

Pinterest = Pictures.

Google+ = Passions.

To further describe Google+, Kawasaki wrote:

Google+ enables you to pursue your passions with people you don’t know.  You 200 friends and family on Facebook may not share your passion for photography, but on Google+ you can have a blast with a community of photograpers.  In short, Google+ is for passions.

Do you want to enhance and expand the number of people who share your passions and interact with them via posts and comments?  If you do, focus on Google+.  If you don’t, stick with Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn until Google+ reaches critical mass.  If you just want to have fun posting pictures of cool stuff, use Pinterest.

Or, you may decide you need multiple services […]  That’s OK too.

As I have mentioned, I have struggled for quite a bit during my initial journey with Google+.  I wish I had a chance to read What the Plus!  The process of getting into and getting the most out of the network could have been quickened.  Guy Kawasaki was one of the first stranger I have added into my circle.  I did not know who he is.  But he appears to consistently share interesting stuffs in his stream.  And he appears to be popular in Google+.  In fact, as of today, he has close to 3 million followers.  When McGraw-Hill the book publisher approached me for the review of this book, my first reaction was: Kawasaki writes books?  Besides having published 11 books, Kawasaki is also the former Chief Evangelist of Apple.  He acts as a curator in Google+, sharing interesting stories to the community.

For those who are new to Google+, What the Plus! has tons of relevant tips.  It shows you the basic of how circle works and it quickly gets you started by populating your personal stream with relevant stories of your passions.  Many feedback I have with friends who tried out Google+ points to the observation that in their streams, they only see posts from the few persons day in and day out – like my posts.  Because I seem to be their only friend active in Google+.  It does not have to be that way.  There are tons of people in Google+ who are way more interesting than I am, with passions more relevant to you.  All you need to do is search them out by keywords or hash tags.  Find out who are consistently churning out quality posts and circle them.  Here are a few I have randomly dreamed of as illustrations.

What the Plus! also talks about how to create an enchanting profile.  Circling new people out there is one thing.  Getting others to circle you back is another.  Without these serendipity interactions, Google+ would at best be a Twitter to you.  Or at worst, a ghost town.  I agree with Kawasaki that a well written profile – very much your social resume – is important.  I seldom circle anyone in Google+ who does not invest time in doing up a profile or do not have a good history of public posts.  Because establishing trust in Google+ is the first step in building a relationship.  I cannot circle you if you have nothing interesting to say about yourself or anything in life.

Most who are used to Facebook culture would be reluctant to post in public when they first visit Google+.  It took me a while to convince my wife Cynthia that Google+ works in a completely different way.  Her comment after a few months of using Google+?  It surprises her much that even as she posts in public, she feels that her privacy is better respected in Google+.  All her interactions do not get broadcast in a ticker form, like Facebook does.  No one has a complete picture on what she does in Google+.  Not even I.  She may have commented on some posts about learning Spanish outside my radar.  Or with someone who is not in my circle.  In Google+, it is very clear who can see what, down to the individual comment and post.

Because Google+ works differently from other social networks, to thrive and get the most out from it, eloquence in everything you do is essential.  What the Plus! gets you covered, from how to post and comment, share posts and photos, to how to respond to comments and Hangout (a video chat with up to 10 people).  As someone who has already been using Google+ for quite some time, I find the tips useful.  I have learned a few things from this book too.  What the Plus! also contains tons of resources in getting help as well as enhancing your Google+ experience.  Kawasaki publishes the links in the form of QR codes.  There is also a chapter written by guest author Lynette Young specifically targeted to the women users.

I endorse 99.9% of What the Plus!  I have one discomfort though.  Kawasaki mentioned in multiple times that we should share posts from 10 a.m. Pacific to 10 p.m. Pacific […] when the spammers in Asia are asleep (page 83).  And on post scheduling, he is willing to sacrifice the aesthetics of a post in order to avoid the spammy and insipid comments that occur when Southeast Asia is awake (page 190).

Ouch.  I am from Asia, in particularly Southeast Asia.  Hence my spirit of evangelizing this book is slightly dampened.  I suppose when you have 3 million followers, spamming could be a valid concern.  I run a website that is bombarded by hundreds and thousands of spam comments a day.  I install an add-on to deal with them.  It sounds like Guy Kawasaki is frustrated with Google’s inability to completely stem the spammers.  I sincerely hope that the situation will improve for him, and that he may recognize that Google+ has a global reach beyond the US time zones.

In summary, What the Plus! provides a good introduction to those who are serious or curious about Google+.  It is less likely that you will gain 3 million followers like Kawasaki does by reading this book.  However, reading What the Plus! will help you potentially skipping months of frustration and get you active in possibly one of the best social networks we have today – my opinion of course.

Categories
Drama

Step Up Revolution – Orgasmic!

Are you a fan of dance entertainment?  Are a fan of So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD)?  Are you in love with Kathryn McCormick of SYTYCD?  Well, if you do, you ain’t going to get a better treat than this.  Step Up Revolution got my heart racing inside the theater.  I so wanted to step up and move my body.  I have drooled watching Kathryn on screen.  Cynthia too.  So I guess that was fair play.

Now, before you rush out and buy a ticket to watch this orgasmic dance movie, there is something you must know.  Story-wise, there is nothing to cheer about.  Still, the plot seems to be better than what I have expected.  A bit cheesy?  Yes.  A bit over the top?  Certainly.  But the feel good factor is there.

Also, key acting scenes are pretty awkward to watch.  I suppose great dancers aren’t necessarily great actors.  One scene, I can tell that it was baked from many takes so much so that it was rather disturbing to watch.  That, or the film editor has done a not too good enough job.

These are the only two criticisms I have on Step Up Revolution.  For those who are new to SYTYCD, contestants are expected to dance a variety of genres.  Also, due to the show’s voting system, contestants are naturally likable, supremely entertaining.  They tease the audience with all sorts of appeals they have.  Some of the dancers in this movie come from SYTYCD.   Hence, you can imagine how sizzling hot this movie is.

The story of Step Up Revolution is based on the flash mob concept.  What these passionate dancers can do is truly amazing.  Each dance scene is unique, choreographed with a special theme in mind.  What Kathryn can do on screen reminds me of how gifted she and the rest of the SYTYCD contestants are.  One may say that if you have seen one Step Up, you have seen it all.  True.  However, I don’t mind getting entertained over and over again.

Categories
Book Reviews Non-Fiction

Confessions Of A Microfinance Heretic By Hugh Sinclair

The idea is beautiful.  By giving small, low-cost loans to the poor, entrepreneurial potential may be unleashed.  Profitable local businesses can lead to prosperity to the poor and to the community.  World poverty can be ended.  There are inspiring stories and photographs on how a mere $100 loan can change the life of a poor.  Royalty and celebrity alike lends support to this good course.  Money in the form of institutional and personal investment as well as donation pours into the microfinance industry.  Marketing campaigns target on our good human nature, letting us to see how poverty can be rid of one family at a time.  Would you want to help ending poverty?  And at the same time receive a return on your investment?

Nobel Prize winner Muhammad Yunus also known as the father of microfinance once said in an interview (2011 New York Times), “I have never imagined that one day microcredit would give rise to its own breed of loan sharks.  But it has.”

Hugh Sinclair – author of this book – who has worked in the microfinance industry from ground up gives a very different account on what this industry really looks like from the inside.  He has worked at a microfinance institution that distributes loans to the poor in South America and Africa.  He has seen how high the interest rate could be (in excess of 100%).  How in real life, many of the loans go into consumption (like buying a TV).  That because the investment comes from foreign countries, the money eventually gets out of the community leaving the poor poorer.  And how operationally inefficient these institutions can be with high salaries and overheads, commercial contracts going to relatives and friends.  He has seen the misalignment between the reality and the vision and mission statements like the one illustrated below.

To help the women in […] to relieve their poverty via self-employment, providing microfinance and technical assistance, while respecting their culture and human condition.

To be a self-sufficient microfinance institution with the principal objectives of poverty alleviation and the comprehensive development of the region.

Sinclair then moved up and worked in a Dutch microcredit fund management firm.  He has seen first hand how fund coming from the investors is channeled to the microfinance institutions with little due diligence.  At times, even when the fund managers know something is wrong with the microfinance institutions, so long as there is a good profit potential, they turn a blind eyes to the issues on the ground.  What about ending poverty?  Does it really matter when the investors are getting a return?

Sinclair tried to expose these irregularities, with the help of the rating agencies, even directly to the investors.  To his surprise, not even the investors want to listen to or action when the facts are laid clear on the table.  Meanwhile, with his passion of genuinely wanting to help the poor, again and again he was fired from his jobs.  The latest resulted in a Dutch court case.

That fortnight was tense.  I hardly slept.  Should I never have embarked on this battle in the first place?  A 99 percent chance of success is also a 1 percent chance of failure.  Taking on the beast is a noble idea, but had David missed Goliath with that fateful catapult shot, the story would probably not have made it into the Bible.  Professionally the situation could also be quite unpleasant.  How would I explain this to a future employer?

With all the evidence he has gathered throughout the years, he has turned into an activist.  He has become the ‘heretic’ voice on the microfinance industry that is seemingly corrupted from the investors to the major financial institutions, from the fund managers to the microfinance institutions.  There is a clear lack of regulation.  Self regulation is oxymoron.  Sinclair’s final breakthrough is getting Times‘s attention.  An article on this very topic was published revealing the ugly side of the sector to the public.

So, what is the problem with microfinance?

The problem is neither that the entire microfinance sector is evil, nor that the basic model is fatally flawed.  It is that greed, lack of oversight, recklessness in investing other people’s money, and ill-aligned incentives have allowed large parts of the sector to ignore the actual impact they are having on actual poverty reduction.

There are a few enlightened MFIs and funds that do actually benefit the poor […] Ethical funds do exist – they’re just hard to find.  The model does work.

I enjoy reading Confessions of a Microfinance Heretic.  Part of the book reads like a diary of Sinclair’s adventure to the developing countries.  Part of the book reads like a detective story as the author gathers evidence against the entire sector.  Although majority of the book talks about what does not work in this sector, there are some heartwarming stories whereby they show that when done right, microfinance does help the poor.

Sinclair’s approach is thorough.  From the investors and the intermediaries to the poor, looking at the operational,  political, and social angles, working through the legal system, the journalists, and eventually as an activist – I truly admire the author’s courage to speak up and telling the world that something is not right about the current state of microfinance.

This book may open up your eyes, like it does to mine.

Visit the author’s microfinance site here:  http://www.microfinancetransparency.com/

Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers (July 9, 2012)
ISBN-10: 1609945182
ISBN-13: 978-1609945183

Categories
Comedy Movie Reviews

TED – What A Naughty, Naughty Teddy Bear

Finally, TED has arrived in Singapore.  I have been anticipating this film for ages.  Courtesy of omy.sg, Cynthia and I had a real good laugh watching TED in a preview screening session.  What’s there not to love about Ted the teddy bear who talks bad, takes drug, and gets drunk?  It’s hilarious.

Think on it, this film could have gone wrong in so many different ways.  Two grownups and a talking teddy bear living in our modern day society?  Miraculously, this film pulls through as something ‘believable’.  Thirty years ago, a boy made a wish for a teddy bear as a Christmas present.  That wish came true.  Later on, he made another wish that the bear would be able to talk.  Lo and behold, because magic could exist, we have a living and breathing teddy bear becoming the little boy’s new best friend.  The teddy bear has become headline news.  Alas, like all things in life, novelty wears off.  Thirty years later, no one cares for a talking teddy bear.  Life moves on.

The story then begins with the little boy John now grown up (Mark Wahlberg) and so is Ted.  John has fallen in love with Lori (Mila Kunis).  But will a man who still hangs out with his teddy bear be able to truly love another person?  Well, that is where the drama begins.

TED is a joy to watch, all credit to two ingredients.  First, the teddy bear on the big screen does look realistic and appears to interact with the actors well.  Remember Star Wars I when Jedi Liam Neeson couldn’t see eye-to-eye with Jar Jar Binks?  Ted the teddy bear seems very much alive in the movie.  Second, the script coming out from Ted’s mouth is hilarious.  At some parts of the film, the scriptwriter has established a pattern so well that the audience would laugh even before the line is out.

Fun stuff aside, TED is a heartwarming film.  There are some tearing moments.  Above all, the chemistry between Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis is convincing.

TED is about changes in life that upset the status quo.  It is a story of growing up and learning to live with someone new.  On a separate note, watching TED reminds me of a novel written by Clifford Chase called Winkie.  In that book, the story begins with Winkie the teddy bear arrested for terrorism because he happens to be at the wrong place in the wrong time.  That book too is hilarious, more so in a dark comedy’s way.  I think I may pick up Winkie when I have the bandwidth to do some reading.

Categories
Action & Thriller Movie Reviews

The Expendables 2 – Now, That Is Entertainment

Watching The Expendables 2 has reminded me what I love about The Expendables.  Its non-stop entertainment value.  The big guns, loud explosion, over-the-top sequences, head-shots, enemies blown up into pieces, and more.  You name it, you have it.  And then, there is this casting full of stars.  Even Arnold Schwarzenegger took a break from his day job and acted a few scenes in this movie.  I’ll be back.  I am back.  And more I’ll be back.  Yes, Mr. Governor.  We love the fact that you are back.

I did have one complain about The Expendables.  The lack of female presence in that team of mercenaries.  As though Hollywood has read my mind, in The Expendable 2, Jet Li is out.  As he jumped out of the plane for a permanent vocation, he promised, “You’ll find another minority.”  And so, the Chinese actress Yu Nan is in.  Now, what I found strange is that she is not credited on the posters.  Yet, she has played as big a part as Jet Li did on the previous installment.  I found Yu Nan charming.  Though my friend TK may not agree with me.  Beauty is only skin deep my friend.

There is not much point talking about the plot.  It is the Rambo style of blowing things up.  The lines are cheesy as ever.  But that is part of entertainment.  Hearing actors poking fun on each other, making references to their past successes, I laughed out loud throughout the movie.

The one-on-one fight between Stallone and Van Damme is exhilarating.  That is how men should fight.  I wish that scene lasts much longer.  I was so overwhelmed that after the movie, I said to TK and Cynthia, “Now, how I wish the fight between Batman and Bane is as epic as this!”  Both of them simultaneous gave me that you-are-an-idiot look.  I should have known better not to provoke a Batman fan.  Or two at the same time for that matter.  Interestingly, the filming of The Expendables 2 may have damaged the population of bats in one Belgium cave. It is a true story.  OK, that is totally random and unrelated.  Forget that I have mentioned the bats.

Rumor says that there may be an all-female Expendables.  Who would you like to see?  If I was the producer, I would want the following in my movie.

  • Carrie-Anne Moss
  • Uma Thurman
  • Kate Beckinsale
  • Angelina Jolie
  • Milla Jovovich
  • Scarlett Johansson
  • Lucy Liu
Categories
Action & Thriller Movie Reviews

The Bourne Legacy – A Rather Average Film

I am not sure why this film is worthy to bear the Bourne title.  It is like watching a Spiderman movie without Spiderman.  Or Lord of the Ring without the ring.  Jason Bourne is nowhere in this movie.  OK, a photograph of his has shown up like a couple of times.  The beginning of Bourne Legacy is – if I remember correctly – the ending of Bourne Ultimatum.  Jason Bourne was swimming underwater.  That’s it.  If Jason Bourne has indeed left a legacy, I can’t find it in Bourne Legacy.

To give credits to the actors, Edward Norton plays a fine antagonist.  His primary role – I think – is to shutdown an operation by killing off their agents on the ground who rely on a regular intake of some super power pills to enhance their physical and mental ability.  Jeremy Renner plays the main character.  He looks like someone who is ready to take over the helm of 007.  Unfortunately, Jeremy Renner is no Matt Damon.  He just doesn’t seem to radiate the same level of mental intelligence like Matt Damon does in the last three Bourne movies.  When I look into Matt Damon’s eyes, I see a smart agent.  When I look into Jeremy Renner’s eyes, I see someone who is ready to fight instead.

If there is one thing that Bourne Legacy has exceeded the previous Bourne movies, that would be the on-screen chemistry of the main character and his love subject.  The 42 years old Rachel Weisz has bettered my expectation.  She has a better role to play too.  Her character as a scientist has some major contribution to the plot.  Not always the case for the previous installments.

This time, the scriptwriter of the previous movies, Tony Gilroy, has moved onto the director seat.  First 30-45 minutes of the film can be rather confusing and uneventful.  There seems to be a constant escalation of situation but I had no idea what it is or what it really does.  Had Bourne Legacy been a TV-series, it would have been a dead series.  But like some good storybooks that are utterly boring in the beginning, once passed the halfway mark, Bourne Legacy gets exciting.  Especially when the backdrop has moved to Manila.  It is action, action, and more action, without the shaky camera effect like the last Bourne movie.

The core of the story is about the blue pills and the green pills.  One boosts physical ability and another one boosts mental ability.  To keep the agents loyal to the agency, they have to receive a constant dosage throughout their missions.  Or they will face degeneration.  This idea does not sound original to me.  I have seen a similar story in Limitless.  There is a twist to this story too.  As in, there are ways to permanent lock the enhanced ability.  That is when the scriptwriter lost me.  It trivializes the entire plot making me wonder what they are fighting for in the first place.  I also found the need to separate the blue and green pills due to some plot twists rather unsatisfying.

A rather average film that would have done better had they lost the Bourne title.

Categories
Drama Movie Reviews

Magic Mike – Tastefully Done

There are two types of audience for the male strippers movie Magic Mike, I think.  The ones who like to stare at men’s near naked body down to their bare butts.  Or men who bring their girlfriends or wives to watch this film hoping to get them horny.  I, on the record, have vehemently said no to this movie.  But Cynthia insisted and kept on saying the magic word ‘Magic Mike’ every morning.  Magic Mike, Magic Mike, Magic Mike.  I gave in, on the condition that my buddy TK would agree to watch a male strippers show.  It was almost a flawless plan.  No way he would agree to it.  Except, TK had no idea what Magic Mike was and eagerly said yes, a tad too fast on Whatsapp.  The rest was history.

In the opening sense, when the perfectly oiled body of Matthew McConaughey came on stage and danced in front of a house full of cheering girl and as he slowly peeled away pieces of his costume one by one leaving only the – I presume – buffed up crotch garment on, I almost fainted.  STOP, right there!  Fortunately he left that essential piece of clothes on, like Adam and Eve and the hanging green leaves.

To my surprise, I enjoyed watching Magic Mike.  The story is original.  McConaughey plays Dallas who runs a male strip club.  One day, Mike (Channing Tatum) introduces Adam, a 19 years old teenage heartthrob played by Alex Pettyfer to the business.  Dallas dubs Adam as The Kid and Adam is an immediate success.  Money, women, and a sense of freedom – to a slacker like Adam who has thrown away his football scholarship, this new lifestyle is irresistible.  I can sense that Mike can see a younger version of him in Adam whenever he looks at Adam.

Meanwhile, there is another side of Mike who sees being a male stripper is only a mean to an end.  But to what end?  It is one man’s journey to finding his worth.  Meeting Adam’s sister  Brooke (Cody Horn) may have awaken something within him.  Dallas’s club is going big hitting Miami.  Adam being the new kid in the block has now become Dallas’s new favorite threatening Mike as Dallas’s right hand man.  What is Mike going to do?

Channing Tatum plays a charming character.  Not only on stage, but also off the stage.  I know he can dance.  It is good to see that he can act convincingly as well.  I also happen to enjoy Cody Horn’s acting.  So innocent and pure.  Matthew McConaughey has a commanding presence that is a major contributor to the theme of this show.  There is a lot of entertainment on stage.  Some of the dance sequences are hilarious.  There are a fair bit of sex scenes too.  But like the stripping act, they are tastefully done.  Magic Mike is way more than stripping.  You would end up liking every single characters, like I do.  I also like how the filmmakers handle the film’s ending.

Now, if there was a film called Magic Maggie with female strippers and all, I wonder how that would work out.

Categories
Book Reviews Non-Fiction

Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry – By Albert J. Bernstein

I knew it even before I picked this book up from McGraw-Hill.  I am an emotional vampire!  Someone who has this tendency to drain the people around me dry, emotionally.  OK.  According to the author, since vampires metaphorically speaking don’t have reflection, they can’t tell if they are indeed an emotional vampire, even after reading this book.  So, in my case, I am either paranoid – unlikely – or lucky enough to recognize my shortfalls.  In the world of psychology, everything is on a continuum.  I hope I am on the milder end of it.

Back to the main purpose of Emotional Vampires.  It is to teach you how to deal with people who drain you dry in your daily life.  Out of eleven different personality disorders according to the manual of the American Psychiatric Association, the author has picked five: Antisocial, Histrionic, Narcissistic, Obsessive-Compulsive, and Paranoid.  They are more common and in 40 years as a psychologist and business consultant, the author has seen these five disorders constantly cause the most trouble for the most people.  At work, at home, or anywhere in between.

The purpose of this book is not to consider the morality of emotional vampires, but to teach you how to spot them in your life and give you some ideas about what to do when you find yourself under attack by the forces of darkness.

Emotional Vampires – while written with humor – is not an easy book to digest.  At least for me.  For the simple fact that if you can relate to the tactics against all five types of emotional vampires, you must be having quite a challenging day-to-day life having to face so many difficult people that drain you dry.  I can at most relate to one or two types of emotional vampires.  Moreover, I doubt all the five chapters of therapy and self-help for each vampire type would be applicable to you either.  Chances are, you may find none of the therapy tips personally relevant.  Or you may pass this book to someone whom you think has a degree of personality disorder and hope that he or she would improve.

Hence, my suggestion would be after reading the introductory chapters, jump to the part that is most relevant to you.  This book tends to describe a more severe end of the spectrum for each vampire type so as to be more encompassing.  Therefore, it can be quite depressing to read through everything at one go.

Emotional Vampires is packed with hands-on information.  It shows that the author has in-depth experience in this field.  Each section begins with a chapter describing what that particular type of vampire is.  Another chapter or two to drill down on the sub-types and how to protect yourself from them.  Next chapter on what to do when you have to live with an emotional vampire, be it as your spouse, your parent, your child, or etc.  In the event whereby through reading this book, you realize that you may be one, fear not.  There is a final chapter on therapy and self-help.

A book on psychology is often dry.  But not this one.  I have chuckled a fair bit while reading Emotional Vampires.  The following – my favorite – may have quoted out of context.  Nevertheless, it shows the lighter side of the materials.  In this excerpt, the author’s intend is to illustrate what a Daredevil is.

Women are socialized to recognize what needs to be done and to do it without being asked.  Lower-order creatures, like men, children, pets, and emotional vampires, cannot be trained to be this perceptive.  They must be given specific instructions.

If a woman sees a sock on the floor, she will pick it up and put it where it belongs.  If a man sees a sock on the floor, he will assume it is there for a reason and step on it.

Any stereotypical statement you might make about men applies to Antisocials, especially Daredevils.  They are masculinity made flesh.  As we will see shortly, Histrionics are the walking, talking personifications of feminine stereotypes.

It is difficult to summarize a practical guidebook that is so full of contents.  Instead, I am going to pick two case studies and share with you how Emotional Vampires benefits me.

Case Study #1: Bullies

I am blessed that my friends and families are not that crazy.  I don’t need to use any of the techniques I have learned to protect myself against them (in retrospect, I think I may want to pass this book to them so that they can protect themselves against me).  At work, it is a different story.  Once in a while, I come across someone who has this anger management issue.  They would yell at people in open office space.  Bang table, even swear at people.  It is impossible to please them.  Anger induces fear and that becomes their one and only modus operandi.  Because things get done when they bang table and scream at people, they continue doing so throughout their career.  If you have not met angry people at work, good for you.  For I have.

What to do about Bullies?  Yield or confront?  Either way, you’ll lose.

Bullies are angry people who have discovered, to their delight, that anger – which they would engage in anyway for its thrill value – also gets them power and control, at least in the short run.  In the long run, Bullies’ anger destroy them.  So what?  Knowing that the vampire who’s browbeating you right now will eventually get his or her comeuppance offers little comfort and no protection.

The hypnotic relationship between anger and fear has stood the test of time, and it will continue until you do something about it.  But what?

The key is to do the unexpected.

The first step is to ask for time to think.  Since Bullies are not normal people, they may want to try other ways to get you back into the battlefield, and not to go through a rational discussion.  There is a good chance that the confrontation may end right there (and you win).  If not, at least you have taken some time to plan the next course of action.

Next is to think about what you want to have happened.  Bullies won’t back down and admit that you’re right.  Would you want to be right or to effectively handle the situation?  Discard any possible outcomes that forces Bully to back down.  They won’t work.

The next step is my favorite: Get the Bully to stop yelling.  It is actually easier than it seems.  First, you should keep your voice soft.  Don’t oblige them by yelling back.  One trick is to say, “Please speak more slowly.  I’d like to understand.”  Reducing the speed will reduce the volume.  No one can yell slowly.  If you are on the phone, there is this ‘uh-huh’ rule.  We usually say ‘uh-huh’ when the other person is catching a breath.  When speaking with a Bully on the phone, stop your ‘uh-huh’.  After a while, the Bully will pause and ask, “Are you there?”  This interrupts the yelling.

Remember, whatever you do, don’t explain.  It is a form of fighting back or running away that fuels the Bullies.  Instead, ask, “What would you like me to do?”  This forces Bullies to stop and think because more often than not, clouded by all the angry emotion, they have no clue what you should do.

The last two tips are (1) don’t take criticism personally and (2) learn from criticism.  These tips aim to make you a better person and deal with the situation with a calm and rational mind.  There is a good chance that by looking from Bully’s perspective, a new solution may emerge.

Case Study #2: Obsessive-Compulsive

In the beginning of this entry, I have confessed that I am an emotional vampire.  I have gone through the checklist in the book and have scored pretty high.  Those who are close to me in real life or in the online gaming world should have no problem observing this aspect of mine.  Over the years, I am fortunate to have met great mentors and loving families who help me mature.  Have I done enough?  How useful is the therapy part of this book?  We are going to find out.

Obsessive-Compulsives see their existence as a battle against the forces of chaos.  Their weapons are hard work, adherence to rules, scrupulous attention to detail, and the capacity to delay gratification into the next life if need be.

Without Obsessive-Compulsives to do the unpleasant and painstaking tasks that make the world go, nations would fall, businesses would grind to a halt, and households would collapse into utter confusion […] Obsessive-Compulsives want to create a secure world by making everybody Obsessive-Compulsive.  Only then can they be safe from themselves.

1. Always Know Your Top Priority – Checked

The author wrote that I should think about what I’d like to have carved on my tombstone, and work toward that.  The other details will take care of themselves.  Coincidentally, the one most life changing book I have read is The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.  One of the habits is to begin with an end in mind that uses the same technique.  It is the one habit that I remember the most from that book and I use it from time to time.

2. Judge Not.  Lest Ye Be Judged – Checked

During my younger day as a manager, my supervisor – a great mentor – one day summoned me into his room.  He knew that I was a meticulous person and a competent professional.  His only criticism was on my management style.  The way that I always saw the negative attributes in people.  So he said to me, “Exploit others’ strengths, not weaknesses.”

After that day, I seek to recognize good things on people before the negative stuffs.  It helps, a lot.

3. Goof Off – Checked

The books says, I should spend a little time every day just sitting and doing nothing.  Learn to relax.  I knew those moments of I idly waiting for my wife to get off work everyday are in fact doing good to me.

Note to myself: The next time I go for a walk after lunch, stop playing with my phone.

4. Specify Products and Don’t Meddle in Process – Checked

It is true.  People with my kind of unique personality often get lost in the process.  We are famous for not seeing forests because of all the trees.  Once upon a time, my mentor said to me, “Manage the outcomes, not the process”.  That was also the defining moment when I switched out of micro-management style and have a much better life thereafter.

5. Criticize Only on Thursdays

And for the rest of the week, praise others for the things they have done right.  Only criticize on Thursdays, including the things I do.

I suppose I could pay more attention to my inner thought.  Perhaps instead of commenting while driving that “he should signal” or “he shouldn’t speed so excessively”, I should observe the better drivers on the road and say, “look, he gives way” or “look, he signals”.

6. Publicly Acknowledge at Least One Mistake per Day

And two on Thursdays.

You mean I have to admit that I am wrong?!  My friends must be laughing when reading this because I seldom do so.  Maybe I shall put an effort on this.  This seems so … hard.  But I’ll try.

Conclusion

Emotional Vampires was originally published in 2002.  Due to popular demand, the author has released a revised and expanded second edition.  This book is packed with useful tips on how to deal with people who drain you dry.  It is useful to me.  I highly recommend this book for those who wish to live a happier life.  We cannot avoid emotional vampires.  It is best to protect ourselves against them.  And if we can become a better person or help others in becoming one after reading this book, that would be a bonus.

Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 2 edition (May 25, 2012)
ISBN-10: 0071790950
ISBN-13: 978-0071790956

Categories
Fantasy & Sci-fi Movie Reviews

Painted Skin: The Resurrection

Cynthia woke up at 9 this morning.  On a supposedly lazy Saturday.  Reluctantly I got out of bed, tempted by that one bowl of hot oatmeal that would soon present itself in front of my computer together with a cup of fresh coffee.  I so wanted to sleep a bit longer.  Last week has been rough.  But I wouldn’t want to miss a hot homemade breakfast cooked by my wife.

Since Cynthia has a facial appointment in town, a few options became available.  I could stay at home.  But do what?  All my video games are getting boring and I have nothing to play.  If you are a girl and cannot relate to this, the next time you open your wardrobe and sigh, “I have nothing to wear”, remember guys also have the same painful dilemma too.  I checked online to see what movies I could watch in an hour or two.  Painted Skin II was the only option.  Since my buddy TK gamed for it, we then have a ‘date’ watching a Chinese film on a supposedly lazy Saturday.

I don’t know Zhou Xun.  TK told me that she is a famous actress.  I do know Vicki Zhao and the primary reason why I didn’t mind watching this one was her.  I have not watched the previous installment.  According to TK, that one is forgettable.  This one is too.  In the last episode, from what I gathered while watching this movie, the 1,000 years old Fox Demon fell in love with a married man.  In the end, the man has decided to go back to his wife.  Somehow, Fox Demon sacrificed herself to save this couple whom I suppose faced some kind of grave situation.  Because of this act, Fox Demon was banished, tortured, and frozen for 500 years as some sort of punishment by the – I guess – Prime Evil.  500 years later, a Bird Demon charmed by the beauty of the Fox Demon (who according to the lore wore the skin of the most beautiful woman known to men) and she broke the ice.  Together, the Fox Demon and the lesser demon, Bird Demon, escaped the frozen prison and into the mortal world hoping to outrun the Prime Evil’s frozen grasp.

Now that is part one of the story and the beginning of part two.  For those who enjoy the genre of Chinese fantasy, Painted Skin: The Resurrection delivers just that.  Nothing exceptional.  Nothing memorable.  There are not many action scenes either.  Mostly drama and bits and pieces of CGI.  Both Zhou Xun and Vicki Zhao are good actresses.  The contrast between the two – cold blooded demon and hot blooded human – is a joy to watch.  Zhou Xun the Fox Demon has little emotion.  No tear even when telling a rather sad story or singing a rather sad song.  Yet she can be coldly seductive when she plays the temptress role.  Vicki Zhao plays the Princess.  She is impulsive and boy, she can cry.  When the two swap their roles, the emotion templates get swapped too.  I seldom see Vicki taking up a lead role.  Hence, I am going to bump this very average movie to a slightly good average movie.

Ya, you welcome, Vicki.

The following paragraphs contain spoilers.  So if you plan to watch this, read no further.  I am writing this down for my future reference.  For sure, I will forget about the story months down the road.  Who knows?  Maybe there will be a third episode?

The backbone of Painted Skin II is a romance story between the Princess and her Guardsman.  8 years ago, the two fell in love.  In that magical moment under the snowy sky, the Princess asked the Guardsman if he loved her.  Knowing his status, the Guardsman hesitated in answering her.  Enraged, the Princess wandered into the forest and was soon attacked by a bear.  While the Guardsman managed to save the Princess’s life, the Princess’s right cheek forever bears the scar of the attack.  After that unfortunately incident, the Guardsman self-exiled to a faraway post while the Princess disappeared and partially covered her face with a mask made of gold.

Now that the Fox Demon has escaped, her number one priority is to find someone who is willing to give her a heart so that she can turn into a human.  OK, there is another romance story between the Bird Demon and the Demon Hunter (who is a human and inherit this role from his ancestors).  The Demon Hunter hunts no demons (ya, I know).  And the Bird Demon’s main contribution to the story besides being an eye candy is to vanquish the Evil Sorcerer after she is killed by the Evil Sorcerer who uses the blood of the Demon Hunter that is lethal to the demons.  Huh, you say?  I know.  This is Chinese fantasy.  Making sense out of the story is the last thing you should do (perhaps I should have done the same with Batman).

Call it a chanced encounter or a demonic plot, the Princess saves the Fox Demon from the bandits’ attack.  The Princess does not know that the Fox Demon is indeed a demon.  So she took the demon in as her personal servant whose primary role – I guess – is to entertain the crowd.  The Princess tries to rekindle her relationship with the Guardsman, but without success.  My speculation is that he is part guilty of the past and part charmed by the Fox Demon.  Frustrated, the Princess tried to commit suicide only to be saved by the Fox Demon, of which the true form of the demon is unveiled.  To prove a theory that because the Princess is disfigured and hence the Guardsman is no longer interested, Fox Demon suggests to exchange skin (?!) for one day.  Two beautiful women naked in a pool is sexy.  The process of skin swapping is not.  Fortunately it is done quite artistically.

Vicki’s character – the Princess – with Xun’s skin (hence acted by Xun) managed to make love with the Guardsman.  Therefore, Fox Demon’s theory seems to have its merit (Note: This is Chinese fantasy story and of course she is wrong).  Meanwhile, the Barbarians together with the Evil Sorcerer from the neighboring country demands a marriage deal in exchange for peace.  The Guardsman tries to fight the entire army of Barbarians and buy time for the Princess’s escape but fails.  Because he is no Achilles.  To save the Guardsman’s life, the Princess is willing to marry the Barbarian Chief, who is in fact dead and was killed by the Fox Demon earlier on (!).  It is the Princess’s heart the Barbarians are after for the resurrection of their Chief.

Without knowing that the Princess is going to be married to a dead man, the Fox Demon makes an offer.  Princess’s heart in return for Fox Demon’s skin.  Fox Demon can then be human and the Princess can be with the Guardsman, as a demon.  Agree to the deal, Vicki gives Xun her heart and her skin (!).  Like any good mathematical formula, think net-net, they have switched their bodies.

This secret soon surfaces as the Bird Demon tells it to the Demon Hunter and the Demon Hunter to the Guardsman.  Time is running out because (1) as soon as the Fox Demon (who is the Princess) eats a human heart, she will stay in demon form forever (think vampires) and (2) the Barbarians and the Evil Sorcerer are going to plug the Princess’s heart out (who is the Fox Demon) and plant it into the dead Chief.  The Guardsman looks for the Fox Demon (who is the Princess) and proclaims his love to her.  To free himself from the Fox Demon’s charm he caught earlier on, he blinded both of his eyes in one swift slice of a blade (!).  But fears not.  While our beloved Guardsman is not Achilles, he is quite a Paris and can shoot arrows with his eyes closed, or blinded.

The rest of the story focus on the conflict between the Han Chinese and the Barbarians.  Fox Demon the Princess is paralyzed because she is starved from not having human hearts as meal.  Princess the Fox Demon is also immobilized because she is tied up on a pole by the Barbarians ready for an ancient heart transplant operation when the sun is eaten by the moon.  In one dramatic end, at the dying second of the eclipse, Fox Demon the Princess and Princess the Fox Demon ascend towards the sun and are merged into a single entity (!).  The Princess is now alive, with her skin and her heart.  And her scar is healed too.  But no matter.  The Guardsman will not be able to see her beautiful face because he is now blind.

And they live happily ever after.

PS. Where is the Fox Demon?

Categories
Fantasy & Sci-fi Movie Reviews

The Dark Knight Rises: Excruciatingly Boring

I don’t sit well with Batman fans, I know.  Specifically, the Batman according to Nolan.  So glad, this trilogy is finally over.  Sandwiched between Cynthia and TK in the cinema, I had to stay entertained.  The girl sitting beside Cynthia was playing with her wireless phone throughout the 165 minutes show.  I can totally relate.

This show is boring.  My brain bled in utter boredom.  It is hard to stay spoiler free for a not so positive write-up.  Hence, if you are planning to watch The Dark Knight Rises, read no further.  Chances are you will thoroughly enjoy the movie.  Many do, especially when you love the previous Nolan installments.  The aggregated score for this movie is very high, which I struggle to understand why.  But that is just me.

This movie is called The Dark Knight Rises.  I want to see Batman in action.  Majority of the film has nothing to do with Batman.  If it was up to me, I would rename this film to Bane: Power to the People.  For most part of the movie, I see the villain Bane way more than I see anyone else on screen.  The fear and destruction Bane has laid upon Gotham City.  The long and emotional speech Bane gave, which I wish Batman could have had a similar opportunity.  Screamed in my head I did: “Shut up! I want to see Batman!”  I get it. Batman franchise is always about the villains.  Like Joker and Two-Face.  Bane gives me nothing.  He is a fat and buffed man that seems to punch hard (reminds me of Butcher in Diablo 3).  He has a strange mask over his face that synthesizes his voice in a hollow and an unrealistic way.  He commands a terrorist network.  Gotham City has to be destroyed, once again.  With a mask covering his mouth (how does he eat or drink anyway?) and that computerized voice, I find it hard to connect to the character.  His weakness?  The mask over his teeth.  It takes Batman 165 minutes to figure that out.  Oh God.

The chemistry between Bruce Wayne or Batman and his potential love interests is terrible.  For no reason or whatsoever, Bruce is in bed with Miranda played by the beautiful French actress Marion Cotillard.  Since when Bruce Wayne is into one night stand?  No courtship, no relationship development thereafter.  It is the finding of solace, and then business.  Heroes wearing masks to protect those they love.  Who is Bruce Wayne trying to protect?  I was in joy when I heard that Anne Hathaway plays the Catwoman (actually not officially mentioned as one even though the costume has suggested so) or rather Selina Kyle the cat burglar.  There is no transformation on Selina Kyle.  No background story on her becoming a cat burglar, except she is doing it for the people or to erase her past or a bit of both.  The drama between Batman and Catwoman is a tease.  The relationship could have been so much more.  What about Catwoman is the reason for Batman’s comeback and it follows through?  In the end, it is reduced to two big kisses (I think), from Catwoman to Batman.  What a huge disappointment.  Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman still holds a special place in my heart.  Sadly, Anne Hathaway is likely to be one of the two reasons why I can tolerate The Dark Knight Rises.

There is something tragic about The Dark Knight Rises.  The background story of Bane’s younger day, Miranda’s childhood, and even the story of Ra’s al Ghul has a much better potential than this Batman story.  It touches my emotional core so much so that I could weep on that.  I wish there will be a spinoff like the Scorpion King story from the Mummy.  Too much of this movie is focused on the plan to destroy Gotham City.  Too little has been told about such a potential powerful story of Ra’s al Ghul and his heir.

To say that Batman is missing in action most of the film is also not entirely correct.  First part of the story, we see a crippled Batman in retirement.  Doctor has already told him that his body can no longer take all the physical punishment.  His joints are giving way due to years of beating.  Bruce could hardly walk!  Yet, donning the Batman suit with an artificial kneel assist device, Batman is out to take on Bane.  And he failed.  For a good part of the movie, Bruce was stuck inside a prison cell.  Sure, fans would want to see the comeback of Batman.  The so-called transformation through training and willpower can be motivating.  But have we not seen this sort of plot time and time again?  Miraculously, Bruce’s body is totally healed inside a prison cell where he should have died of malnutrition.  He is even strong enough to punch Bane to his face, this time with better precision and power.  Yet, what kills Bane is something else.

There is this one scene when the truck carrying an atomic bomb fell down a bridge.  Maybe a four stories fall.  The young one seated at the front of the truck trained by the legendary Ra’s al Ghul could not survive the fall while an old man inside the cargo area at the back next to the bomb could.  Mind you, this old man was supposed to recuperate in a hospital.  He got out the back of the truck OK.  No bruise no shock, it was a miracle.  I was like: Huh?!

TK reminded me that this is a fantasy story and I should not read too much into it.  Perhaps I should have switched my brain off for this 165 minutes movie.  Logic glitches aside, I find that the ending sequence very exciting and satisfying.  I wish the filmmakers show more civilians in the last part of the movie rather than a school bus full of children.  Batman has saved a lot of people.  It doesn’t appear so.  To sum up, I love the ending; I love the Bat-bike and the Bat-plane.  The bike is so hot.  Having Catwoman on it makes it even hotter.  The rest is a yawn.

Will I watch another Batman movie?  Why not, since TK and Cynthia are such huge fans.  There is always hope for a better reboot.  The Amazing Batman perhaps?