Category: My Good Life

I spent the first half of my career life working in an International environment and then switched to a workplace whereby local Singaporeans seldom talk about sex. Now that I am back in an International environment and check this out – on day 5, I was squeezed into a small meeting room full of guys as my new workspace (my first month at work will be another story) and was surprised at what sort of topics these guys talk about.

Before getting into the juicy bits, here is some background in what I mean by “International”. Our project team comprises of an Indian freshly from India, an Indian freshly from Middle East, an Indian who studied and worked in US, a few local Singaporeans, a Korean who is now studying in US, a couple more from the West, and me who is born in Hong Kong and have studied in UK. I must have gotten “domesticated” by the local environment (which is not a bad thing really) when most locals at their 30’s talk about babies and 20’s talk about … movies, food, and shopping. Now, in this meeting room, behind closed door, with audience age group ranges from early 20’s to late 20’s to … ahem … mid 30’s to late 50’s, there is one topic in common.

Sex.

One day, some of us started to comment on how to improve our shitty environment with so many of us squeezed into a small meeting room working environment, I suggested that we need a Plasma TV. Somehow that conversation has gone from CNN to videos to … porn – totally beyond the control of the relatively rather innocent me. Then out of the blue, one guy started talking about ways to download porn and before I could recovered from a dropping jaw, the topic turned into various fetishes found in porn videos – in graphical details.

Not that I have anything against what’s inside porn. Just that talking freely about it with an audience of such a wide age group and cultural diversity sort of makes me gasp. But that is not the most shocking of all …

It is the sex life revelation from one of the young Singaporean that intrigues me the most. (Strangely, the subject of our interest has gone to the same school as one of the sons of my colleague in the same room and this subject of mine know his son … now, that is awkward.) I am so inspired to write a book on “Sex Life of the Singaporean Teenagers” following one of the books with the same topic written in Australia.

I am not sure how much of this is new information to you but it is certainly quite an eye-opener to me. The key “learning points” for me from a single subject are (imagine if I conduct a survey in a much wider audience like the one done in Australia):

1. Some Singaporean girls are not shy about initiating sex and they start young … very young
2. Some youngsters treats sex as experimental and lustfully recreational while my ideal of “deepening the passion and love between couples” seems too … old school
3. Some youngsters tend to change their partners frequently within short time frame
4. Sex education in Singapore may have taught the youngsters well in terms of birth control (girls actually take pills in advance to plan for sexual encounters!) but probably fails in teaching them that unprotected sex is the main reason how people contract HIV

When that young colleague of mine finished the story and left the room, I was too tongue-tied to say …

“Next time, please consider to wear a condom.”

Very soon, the topic returned to paid sex in Singapore and expanded to paid sex in various parts of the world … how the in-thing in India for men to throw money notes to the (clothed) erotic dancers and more.

My oh mine … this gives forth a new definition to OJT – “On the Job Training”.

A while back, I was traumatised by my dentist. I really should have seen him more often. Yesterday, I was traumatised by the air-con men. I really should have asked them to service my air-con units more often. They did open up, dismantle, and clean every single component of the units. It was a gruesome sight. More gruesome when they have decided to clean the condenser that is located at the washing area and I have to move my washing machine and dryer out of the way. That scene of “what-lies-underneath” will stick in my mind for decades to come. If only the theme of this website is “where nothing is too grotesque to be shared”, I would have …

But let’s not go there. Instead, I ponder and self reflect. I may not have a degree of Permanent Head Damage Doctor of Philosophy (PhD) but I am a keen observer. Things that we have belief in and our so-called values influence what we do everyday. We can’t see what belief is or values for that matter but we can observe one’s behaviours to make a certain guess of what belief and values one holds. Or in the situation of not so positive behaviours, what belief and values one does not hold. Unfortunately, some people tend to be so fixated on one’s undesirable traits confusing that with the spots on the leopards (hence the famous phrase).

Which is kind of ballock if you were to ask me – to confuse something as permanent as the coding of our body (aka genes) with something as abstract as our beliefs and value systems. One can never prove the invalidity of a past observation and linking future behaviours with the past makes it all more frustrating. Personally, I think belief can be changed, value system can be altered, people can become better. In view of this, I am going to see my dentist more often, call up my air-con men more often, and have already planned to do some serious clearing up, cleaning up, and rearrangement of the junks inside my storeroom (that will involve moving the washing machine and dryer out from the washing area again because they are in the way *gasp*).

People do change for the better. And so can I – like time and time before. I am ready to be traumatised by my storeroom. Bring it on!

PS. I am not sure how your air-con men service your units. I strongly recommend Gain City. They have done a fantastic job years after years and it costs S$25 per fan coil and S$30 per condenser (add another S$60 for acid cleaning if it comes down to it).

Last night I could not sleep. I lied in bed for six hours with my eyes closed but I just could not sleep. Not sure if I was nervous about today’s jamming session (yes, I treat each session with utmost seriousness) or I was going to visit my sister’s boyfriend Benny aka my ex’s brother and his family. It must have been 10 years since I have seen his parents. It is strange that I had dated his sister for more than 4 years and both sides of the parents have not met one another.

Let’s rewind a bit. Yesterday, my sister brought us to her new office at Nanyang Technological University (NTU) and it was my 2nd time there. 1st time I dropped off my sister for the job interview. NTU is so huge! And green … and some buildings are pretty artistic.

How time flies between the two visits. And since Lora has just gotten her first paycheck (thank God), it was time to give us a treat at Jumbo East Coast Park. My mother loves the chili crab there … and the sea view too.

Just to narrate on the photos … from left to right, up then down … my sister Lora, my wife Cynthia, and my mother just outside the building where my sister works. Then the next 3 photos were taken inside her office. Look, it is an office with a view! Not only that, it comes with a white board, a few chairs, and a sofa. And of course there is a name tag of … Senior Assistant Director outside her room. Power hor?

I am so proud of my little sister.

12pm-ish, we picked up our lead guitarist Jason. Had our lunch at our usual hawker center and time to jam (for new visitors of my site, “jamming” means our band get together and play music)! This time round, Jason did some setting for Cynthia’s bass guitar and it sounded much, much better. Full body and sounded grunge. We have also boosted up the instrumental tracks and I have taken some of Cynthia’s advice on my vocals. Overall, we did 2 runs of 9 songs and have recorded over 80 minutes of music. Cynthia has some interesting bass runs and Jason’s guitar … well, it is always divine. The final live recording is pleasant to listen to and our next step is for me to make a better transcript of my songs for Jason and Cynthia (current transcripts can be confusing at times). Snail pace to live performance but we are getting there, for sure.

Now, back to tonight’s dinner, Benny’s mother has cooked so much food (very delicious some more)! The last time I tasted her cooking was 10 years ago while I was camping at Benny’s room before I found a place to rent. Now that my sister is staying in Benny’s sister’s room (she got married), I am sure my sister is well taken care of. Benny’s parents are really nice.

What a walk on the memory lane tonight. Funny how life turns out to be. Every step we take … leads to somewhere … significant. To our oneself, and to people around us.

*** 2 0 0 ***

That is the number when you add the age of my family of four together. Or shall I say, between the four of us, there is a life experience of 200 of years by March next year. I often wonder how much knowledge is lost from one generation to the next. I wish to learn how my father takes those award winning photographs (for real). I wish to learn the art of calligraphy from him and in particularly, his way to compose Chinese articles. And above all, Tai Chi. He has own set of students and from the DVD he sent to me, I saw smoke coming out from his head while he exercised. No special effect I swear.

But to extract these knowledge from my father requires talents. No way I can learn that unless we can each live for another 200 years. Cooking, however, is much easier to do. From young while boys next door spent time outside playing basketball and dating girls, I always enjoyed staying at the kitchen watching my mother cooked. So I may not be able to shoot basketball even if there is a prize of one million dollars nor charm girls on the streets and in the club, I enjoy being able to cook my own dishes each and every day if I want to – for myself and those who stay with me.

Still, I can probably cook only a fraction of what my mother can cook. So while she is in town, what better things to do than to take this opportunity in expanding my repository of dishes? Amongst many, there is ginkgo.

Like my sister who has recently settled in Singapore, I find it hard at times to reconcile what I know in Chinese terms to what are being called in English. Till today. After all, from where I was born, Cantonese is the day-to-day spoken language and nothing else. I first heard the word “Ginkgo” from one of my friends who is in need of some memory booster. He was thinking of taking the ginkgo pills that his mother is taking. You know what life after 30 is like for some of us. People forget things, repeat stories, and repeat the same story to whom he or she hears the story from.

Lately I visited the Japanese restaurant Nambantei (featured in my previous blog) and had ginkgo nut sticks. It tasted bitter and if not for its supposed benefits, I would not have finished it.

I took my mother for Chinese herbs shopping as I wanted a refresher course on soup making. My mother asked if I wanted to eat “白果” and looking at those nuts on display and recalling what I have eaten at that Japanese restaurant, I suddenly realised that “白果” is in fact “Ginkgo”. When we returned home, I volunteered to clean those nuts and it is a rather tedious process as it turns out.

First, the shell is hard. Mere mortals like us won’t be able to crack them with our bare hands. So I armed with a hammer and hit each nut with the right strength. Very much like peeling crab craws. If I hit too hard, I smash the entire ginkgo and it looks pretty gruesome. Healthy ginkgo flesh is soft to touch with a certain moist (the moist left a funny smell to my fingers that smelt like … [censored]). Bad ginkgo flesh is hardened and with black patches. There are attrition in each batch of genkgos. Just throw away the bad ones and keep the good ones.

Ginkgo fresh from the shell has an outer fleshy coating. It is relatively tedious to peel off this coating. The best way is to boil them for 5 minutes. And then peel off the outer coating as well as breaking each ginkgo into halves and see if there is a tiny “stem” inside. That thing is bitter and should be removed. No wonder the ginkgo nut sticks at that Japanese restaurant tasted bitter.

We use ginkgos to cook dessert and I must say, the taste is wonderful. So much hard work in preparing ginkgos. Even though ginkgo has a few good medical benefits (quote from Wikipedia: it improves blood flow to most tissues and organs, protects against oxidative cell damage from free radicals, and blocks many of the effects of platelet aggregation and blood clotting that are related to the development of a number of cardiovascular, renal, respiratory and Central Nervous System disorders), taken in large dosage in a prolong period (5 per day for children) can be poisonous. Like all things in life, consume in moderation.

Talking about the benefit of improved blood flow, this morning I woke up and … [censored].

When I was a bachelor, I seldom watch TV. In fact, I could live months happily without a TV. I was used to think that TV takes up too much of my attention. I preferred entertainments such as listening to music and reading books. Now, I am a changed man.

I often wonder what others are watching. For me, “Heroes” has to be on top of my list. By far the best and most original TV series I have watched with ordinary people discovering their extraordinary powers while in search of their destiny. Once in a while a hero dies. So long as the soft porn star still lives, I am happy (please don’t tell me the ending if you have already watched the series on the web).

Cynthia got me into watching “Desperate Housewives”. I was initially sceptical over the recycled plots (on relationship and murder) for each season but the stories are actually quite interesting. I in particularly like the narration especially in the beginning and the end of each episode. And yes, I think Eva Longoria (as “Gabrielle”) is very hot.

“Rome” from HBO is actually a TV series worthy of watching due to its artistic value. The first season of 10 episodes tells the story of Gaius Julius Caesar (played by Ciarán Hinds) through 2 commoners. The costumes, rituals, and the scripts are well attended to. Some of the concepts are foreign to today’s tradition but then again, “Rome” is a story back in the old days. I was worried that this season would not be as good because of the death of the iconic Julius Caesar from the previous season. Fortunately, the adult version of Gaius Octavian’s rise of power added much power to the plot. I am eager to see how the story unfolds.

I recently got hooked onto “Angela’s Eyes”. Cynthia does not like the main actress Abigail Spencer because she looks too cold and fearsome. I find this attitude of hers attractive. It is a cross between Alias and some crime related drama and Angela’s special ability is her eyes – she can see through lies. That sort of put her in an interesting situation in her social life.

Of course not to forget to mention that my beloved Jennifer Love Hewitt’s “Ghost Whisperer” will return this Friday with a new season. I did not miss a single episode of the last season. Neither will I miss any this season.

Lastly, I also watch After Hours. I know I know … many friends of mine are frown upon my, shall I say, lack of taste or lack of class. Some episodes are not so watchable but some episodes are quite light and nice. For me, it is a change from all the Western series and “After Hours” is not strictly a Chinese series either. Just nice for me.

So, these are my indulgence during evening hours. What are ones you are currently watching?

I seldom write my blog in an online diary style. Mainly because I prefer subtlety and through the books I review, music I listen to, photographs I took, and movies I watched, I hope I am able to show the facets of me without telling you what sort of cereal I eat lately (hmmm … tempting). However, events of these couple of days are so random that I just cannot find a common theme. So, let’s start with …

[Part 1 of 3 – Interview]

Thursday. Just before lunch I got a call on my wireless phone (a term I learned from watching American Idol).

She: We have spoken couple of weeks before. Are you still interested in the XYZ position?

(more like 2 months in exact)

Me: Yes I am (firm with much enthusiasm).
She: Can you come in during lunch?

I looked at my clock and it said eleven-thirty. Lunch was just half an hour away and if you know me, I think visually. I pictured myself showering, I pictured the need to wear my contact lens and do up my hair, I pictured myself ironing a white shirt, I pictured myself polishing my pair of business shoes, and above all other unimportant images such as breakfast and publishing one of the blog that was written a day before (patting my own shoulder: your dedication to your web audience is quite admirable) – I have to get prepared for the job interview. My buddy BCM has passed me some materials to read in order to get to know what products the company is selling.

I told the person on the line that I was at home and would properly take some time to get to the town center. We then agreed on late afternoon. Between the company and I, we have waited each other for 2 months in exact (I was called one day before I climbed Mount Kinabalu while I was at Kota Kinabalu). I am sure we can afford to wait for another couple of hours.

I love interviews. It is more like a friendly chat between two strangers. A sort of discovery journey not unlike first dates. And since dating is not something I can do these days, job interview is one of the alternative avenues … kidding! Anything beyond the first two and a half sentences in this paragraph is rubbish. On the record, I do enjoy interviews.

After the interview, I had a short coffee break with my buddy BCM just to touch base (“touch base” – such a commonly used corporate phase … I always thought touching base with someone means many things – from patching up from all the corporate backstabbing to “long time no see and though under any normal days I don’t want to see your face but this is business” to “we are both bored at work and let’s kill some time outside the office” to … ahem … corporate intimacy). Of course touching base with BCM was more like old friends who have known each other for 10 years having a crack on my interview and other things in life.

Tried to call up a few friends for a drink in the evening before Cynthia emerged from her office but everyone seemed to have something on. Not to worry. Entertaining myself is one of my strengths – funny that Strength Finder 2.0 did not pick that up. I brought with me a book called “Strategy Paradox” and it is surprisingly a good read. Rare as it is for any consulting book to be entertaining, this one is special. Do keep a look out for the upcoming book reviews in my site.

[Part 2 of 3 – PC Show]

Friday. I have not seen my buddy Mark for a long time and he suggested to see the Friday “PC Show” exhibition. I seldom miss any IT show or motor show for that matter so I eagerly agreed – the same level of enthusiasm as I agreed to that job interview. Mark suggested bringing a camera to take some pictures of the hot babes in the exhibition and I said …

Me: PC Show?!
He: Yes.
Me: But there are no hot babes in PC Show. Motor show, yes. PC Show, no.

Mark then mentioned Nikon and Canon … and ah ha … I remember. Last year, the promoters from Nokia were stunningly attractive posting for everyone to take picture with the new N95 and have them printed out as souvenir (I got a teddy bear phone holder instead). These models were very popular amongst the male population during the last IT show. Funny as I read the last sentence. 99.99% of the people in any given IT show are male … duh!

The PC Show was very crowded. We did one round in the outer circle and then another round in the inner circle and then we gave up. No photos of hot babes neither.

Not knowing what to do next and as Mark’s wife was shopping elsewhere, I suggested to him to hang around with Cynthia and I and I would send him home afterwards. And then there was beer while waiting for Cynthia, Chinese food as three of us chatting on our favorite online game … and three of us were online till wee hours after we returned home. To describe what we have done would have alienated 99.99% of my readers so let’s just say … we’ve had our share of frustration and we’ve had our share of fun. For Mark and I, it was like bringing back old memories two years ago when we first started playing the game.

[Part 3 of 3 – Jamming]

Sunday. After a month and a half of inactivity, my guitarist Jason finally gave me a call to book a jamming session. To be honest, in the name of jamming, I would have dropped any pending activities. As the icing on the cake, Cynthia made it as our bassist too! Hooray to the power Nth! One time Jason suggested that we shall include some of the older songs we have jammed into our open-mic set. So while waiting for this jamming session to occur, I managed to memorize two more songs – “Leaving You” and “Jealousy”. So together with “Something In Your Eyes”, “My Little Swallow”, “Some People Say”, “Feather”, “I Erase Your Face”, and “Kids From The Park”, we have 8 songs in total.

As the cherry on the cream that rests on the icing on that cake, I have invited my sister Lora and her boyfriend Benny to listen to our music. They were clapping and yelling at the end of each song. Probably the most enthusiastic audience we have seen or I have seen.

We did the entire set once and then another time. Satisfied with our progression I asked Jason if there is any song he would like to add onto the set and he suggested “Broken”. We jammed it out a couple of times and though it must have been more than a year if not years since we played that song together, we have it tightened in our second try. Started the session at 1.30pm and by 5pm we were shagged. We were playing non-stop and imagine, three and a half hours of concert … close to 20 songs … it was tiring – to the band as well as the audience (things that our “fans” have to put up with …). Next time we meet, we are going into live recording mode. If Jason and Cynthia manage to memorize some of the chords especially during chorus, we are one step closer to public performance.

Hooray!

My friend KF the branding consultant and his buddy WS are heading to Mount Kinabalu this coming June (best of luck buddy … you can do it!) and KF has invited me for a practice session at Bukit Timah – one of the nature reserves in Singapore. I was more than happy to train with him and hopefully can provide him any advice he needs for his climb to Mount Kinabalu. Indeed KF has tons of questions for me and I tried to answer them the best I could – even if it may shatter his confidence a little bit.

I have not been to Bukit Timah before last weekend. It was certainly an eye-opener. I mean … look … Singapore is a flat piece of land and who would have thought there is a little hill anywhere at all? It was actually quite fun to trek up Bukit Timah. You can either take the main road that takes you directly to the “summit” (funny when the word “summit” is used to describe the highest point of something especially the top of a mountain and Bukit Timah is nowhere near the mountain status) or you can take the different trails to experience “wilderness” – which we did. We even heard what appeared as live firing as we trekked up (well you know … military training and all).

My buddy KF is really some sort of Bukit Timah guide. He can tell stories from the World War II like this cave was for what and that cave was for what and that stone was for what and that huge container was for what. Amazing. He even took us for a detour as one of the trail was cut-off due to fallen trees. It was more like an adventure to me.

Truth been told, 163.63m above sea level is insignificant compares to Mount Kinabalu that is 4,095.2m above sea level. We trekked the entire hill in way less than 2 hours (with moderately faster pace). However, I can understand why Bukit Timah is popular amongst the locals. We went up during non-peak hours (1.30pm). By the time we were back, the entire car park and beyond were fully packed. I have been to quite a number of nature reserves and it is nothing like Bukit Timah. It was a nice experience and I will go there again … perhaps with Cynthia and definitely with my buddy KF the Bukit Timah guide.