I See I Write

Stop Saying “On Priority” At Work

Yes, it is annoying.

Have you ever received an email, with a request. And the sender copied Tom, Dick, Henry, and their relatives, and said, “do this on priority.”

That always triggers me. Why?

Observing Life

Constantly On a Timer!

These days, I feel that I am constantly be reminded of time. It gets worse after the start of the pandemic. In the past, when I worked in the office and when there was a meeting, we had to book a physical meeting room. Participants could be from different buildings. Few turned up on time, unless it was a very important meeting. Back then, people needed to walk from one building to another, take a lift from one floor to another, or stopped by the bathroom and/or pantry. Now? People work remotely. Meetings are setup remotely. Once the meeting notification appeared, people join the meeting online. When I had a take a bathroom or water break, even with 1 minute late, people start to get impatient and message me if I am joining the meeting now. Right now!

What happens to the good old days when people chit chat before the meeting started while waiting for the rest to join?

I See I Write

Horrible Experience at Café&Meal MUJI Plaza Singapura

I had one of the most humiliating experiences at MUJI Plaza Singapura, no fault of mine. It was so absurd that it took me a meal’s time – not at MUJI – to internalize.

I enjoy the food menu at MUJI. It strikes a good balance between tasty food and healthy food. The price is more premium. But once in a while, it is OK.

It was during a weekend. Faced with a table shortage during lunch hour, I joined a queue. In front of me was a big group of young people. Further down, there were tourists from Indonesia. The queue was long. And I was queuing alone. Since I had no one to talk to, I looked at my phone most of the time. I recalled the waitress passed by and asked, “Table for how many?” I said two. She quickly moved on. She looked stern, in her late fifties. Highly efficient.

To control the crowd entering the cafe, there was a barrier. It was closed when the cafe was full. And it was open when tables were available.

I was looking at my phone when I sensed the big group before I had entered. I saw the barrier was opened. I presumed that it was my turn. So I entered, looking for a table. But there was none. The cafe was full.

Naturally, I returned to the front of the queue. The barrier was opened. As I rejoined, a woman in her thirties stopped me and accused me of queue jumping. Then out of nowhere, the waitress appeared and testified that she did not see me in the queue! I was speechless. I told my side of the story. The barrier was opened. I thought there was a table available. Hence, I walked in.

Observing Life

Yes, Go For 32GB RAM

It is a common struggle. Should I spend more money to get 32GB of RAM or would 16GB suffice? Today, I played Diablo 4 while letting my video editor run in the background. Yes, my laptop utilized more than 16GB of RAM. I suppose, 32GB RAM is … justified?

I See I Write

Goodbye Android … 12 Years We Had Fun

For 12 years I have been an Android user. Who would have known that my very first Apple product purchase is an iPhone 14 pro max? Here is a little story of my migration from Android to iOS.

Illustration by hitandrun.

Let’s get right to the point. Despite all the innovations Android and the hardware companies have over the years, despite all the years of denial, Apple simply makes better products. The followings are the specifics after 12 years of using Android products.

  • Android OS is fragmented, leaving manufacturers to update their custom OS. I have a 5-year-old Samsung S3 tablet. Samsung stopped updating the OS 2 years ago. Without security patches, would I feel safe using the perfectly fine albeit slower tablet? Err no. I have a work phone, a 4-year-old iPhone 8 provided by my company. Till today, Apple still patches the phone’s OS. I feel reassured.
  • Google phones in recent years are just not that good. To experience pure Android OS, you need a Google phone. My first Google phone was an LG Nexus 4. It was a great phone. Google has a few great phones post-Nexus 4. But Google has no interest in markets outside the US. I was able to purchase a Nexus 4 using a fake US address (the things we do to get a Google product). Google closed the loop for Nexus 5. Pixel 5 wasn’t even available here in Singapore. As for Pixel 6, with that fingerprint scanner fiasco plus other issues, I ain’t gonna get a Google phone in near future.
  • Android hardware doesn’t last. My Samsung A series lasted just over 1 year. The screen was dead. It isn’t covered by the warranty and repairing it may as well get another midrange Samsung phone. Prior to that, it was a Note phone. My household had two. Both died after 2 to 3 years. Both screens died in the end.
  • Unlike Apple, Google really doesn’t care about the markets outside the US. I got to experience Google Music when I had my Nexus 4 purchased using a fake US address. Once they closed the loop, they cut me off from Google Music because I am from Singapore. We can’t buy Pixel 5. Although Pixel 6 eventually arrived in Singapore, the cool color combos are not available. I don’t have to put up with this level of discrimination when using Apple products.
  • Google products including Android are the worst offender when it comes to user privacy. It is a conflict of interest really. Google’s advertisement revenue comes directly from our personal information and browsing history.
  • You may say top-of-the-line Apple vs Google vs Samsung cameras are very closely matched. But looking at the day-to-day photos from all sources, consistently, Apple users take better photos. What gives?
  • I was used to thinking that Apple products are too expensive compared to Android. But with hardware that doesn’t last and OS that doesn’t get patched after a set number of years, Apple’s price tag is justified.
  • As subjective as this may sound, Apple’s design is beautiful.
I See I Write

Eternal Love (2020) – Epic Chinese Fantasy Themed Love Story Albeit Too Lengthy 三生三世十里桃花 / A Spoiler Free Review

Lately, I have watched a good number of Chinese TV dramas. While I enjoy the shows – more because of my Chinese background and I can relate better – most of them tend to be too lengthy.

Take Eternal Love (2020) as an example. 58 episodes equate to 58 hours of entertainment. I reckon a number of subplots could easily be edited out into perhaps 30 episodes (or made optional maybe… imagine a future of TV viewing whereby viewers get to define how concise the show they wish to watch).

The leading actress Yang Mi is amazing in terms of acting.

All in all, story writing is top-notch. Chinese TV dramas are prone to plot flaws or plot holes. This love story spans over “three” lifetimes by and large makes sense. For those who are familiar with Chinese fantasy such as the path to immortality, the trials that entail, cultivation and essence, etc., Eternal Love is authentic.

The real gems of this TV drama are the leading actor and actress Mark Chao and Yang Mi. Their onscreen chemistry is believable. Yang Mi is such an elegant actress. Every bit of her acting I can see was carefully orchestrated. I look forward to their scenes, which is where the problem lies. The rest of the scenes are just not as good. Most of the supporting actors are just not as good. Hence my first observation, this TV drama is too lengthy.

Another flaw I would like to call out though is that the women of this TV drama are not well represented in today’s world. Men are too dominating. Most if not all the battles are won by men. Women are either hopelessly not as useful or purely wicked. In today’s standard, I am finding it hard to relate. Most of the time, I would just sigh or facepalm.

Also, if I were the scriptwriter, I may have wrapped up the story in a more grand and triumphant way, one that is worthy of 58 episodes of wait. Then again, I am not.

And why ain’t there more Yang Mi’s work on Netflix or Viu? That is disappointing.

I See I Write Observing Life

The Long Ballad 长歌行  (2021) – A Chinese Drama, An Afterthought with and without Spoiler

I am mostly into Korean drama. But once in a while, I indulge myself in Chinese drama. I am not going to lie. I have always been wanting to watch a TV series with Dilraba Dilmurat as the main actress. She has unique facial features that make her look Asian but not Chinese (she is actually of Uyghur ethnicity). Should you watch 49 episodes of The Long Ballad (~37 hours)? Part 1 is a spoiler-free review. Part 2 has spoilers.

3 boys and 2 girls. 1 boy is not getting any 🙂

Spoiler-free Review

Set in the Tang dynasty, Princess Li Changge (played by Dilraba, also hence the drama title) escaped the Palace and the capital due to court politics. She faked death, disguised as a man, and promised herself to return one day and seek revenge against the new emperor. What follows was a series of life-changing events for her and the main cast.

There is a good amount of plot and acting brilliance that would make you fall in love with the series. I cried at a number of scenes, was awed at some of the very clever plot tweaks, loved some of the military strategies, and I mostly binge-watched the entire 49 episodes in just a few days.

There are also moments of very good cinematic whereby you witness a vast size of armies in conflict. The cinematic also at times supplements with the comic-drawn scenes, which tell a pretty good story (where the root of the series belongs).

I particularly love the character development. Each main character grows into a different person. There are moments of heroism and sacrifice, intrigue and danger. The main difference between Korean and Chinese drama is that Chinese writers don’t seem to hesitate to kill off characters. That makes Chinese drama very memorable.

The Long Ballad is not without its flaws. In my mind, the entire series is roughly divided into 5 chapters. The first chapter was great. The second chapter is amazing. The plots are so clever. You would get to love the characters (even the villains). The problem is, this drama peaked too soon. From the scale of physical and emotional conflict to the cleverness of plot tweaks, nothing follows can compete with the second chapter. This drama also has a number of glaring plot holes that made me shake my head.

I like the concept of Central Plain versus Grassland versus Desert tribes. The story backdrop could have been so much more powerful had the final chapter been the climax of all. What a missed opportunity.

While some have great acting, most are average or one-dimensional. Personally, I think Dilraba acts well, but not exceptional. But her physical attractiveness and the exceptional heroic plot opportunities make up for it. I do enjoy watching Zhao Lusi played as Princess Li Leyan (cousin of Princess Li Changge) and she has acted in The Romance of Tiger and Rose, one of my favorite dramas.

All in all, an enjoyable watch that I don’t regret watching.

Warning: Spoilers follow.

Spoilers & Interesting Observations

Following is a list of observations I have made while watching the drama, which made me face-palmed or in awe. If you have watched this drama, you should be able to relate.

  • Arrows, so many arrows to the chest. When the first arrow shot at Princess Li Changge’s chest while she was hanging by the broken bridge, I gasped. While saved by Ashile Sun (refer to as Li Changge’s lover from now on), one of the division leaders from Grassland, she insisted to pull the arrow out of her chest by herself (because she was disguised as a man, which at that point in time, her soon-to-be lover already knew that she was a girl). And she did! Cut to the defense tower where she stood when Ashile Sun lay siege to the city she attempted to defend, an arrow again shot to her chest! She fell, but got up, and pulled the arrow out, which boosted the soldiers’ morale. She survived, once again! Not one man in the series could do what she did. Cut to her on a horseback chased by a group of armed Grassland people. Someone on a horseback behind her shot an arrow that went through her chest and saved her the hassle of her pulling the arrow out from her chest this time. She fell from her horse and was saved by a swordmaster and an old doctor. Once again, she survived! Cut to one of the palaces, an assassin shot an arrow at Li Changge’s lover who at that time was sitting next to the princess. It seems like a heavy injury but her lover survived! Cut to yet another palace, a Grassland soldier shot an arrow at Li Changge’s maid, also one of her best friends, and the maid died in Li Changge’s arm (technically speaking, the maid died in her lover’s arm shortly after). There are so many arrows to the chests. So dramatic. I really thought that the maid would survive looking at the pattern. Well played, scriptwriter.
  • People have super healing power. I would have thought that when one gets shot at, in the chest, even when the arrow misses the heart, there must be some serious injuries, be it to the lung or the rib cage. But no, both Li Changge and Ashile Sun are able to get by fine the next day. Princess Leyan’s lover was beaten to a pulp while trying to win the wedding competition. The next day, he recovered and went on helping others with farming! A general was tortured in Grassland with cuts all over his body. It was a failed attempt to escape and in his final hour, he could still fight like a healthy warrior against a group of mobs. Ancient people were strong indeed.
  • How powerful is Princess Li Changge? Now, this bugs me a lot. Li Changge led men into battle against a horde of Grassland army. She literally slaughtered a lot of them as Commander Li (granted she was wearing armor … but still, many characters in armor died in the series). Yet, later on, she and her lover who is equally strong struggled to fight off a small group of rebels inside a temple, needing the help of Tang’s soldiers (with arrows). And there is one Chinese official whom she was really terrified. She nearly got killed by him one time. Who is he? The one that was beaten to a pulp above.
  • How powerful is Ashile Sun (Changge’s lover)? Cut to the scenes when Ashile Sun faced the evil princess alone. Sure, he had chains on his hands and feet but I reckon he could still fight. Mind you, he was on a death sentence soon to be executed. Surely, he could take down an unarmed evil princess with zero martial art skill? Ashile Sun was the most powerful leader in Grassland, worshiped as God of War. Yet, he didn’t even put up a fight at all, ready to embrace death. Really? He must have known that help was coming 🙂
  • Those kissing scenes are so lame. I know Chinese drama is not well-known for kissing scenes. But I have not seen anything this lame at all. When the main characters Li Changge and Ashile Sun finally kissed, the entire scene was blurred. Blurred! What was in focus was two green birds kissing each other at different angles in front of them, in close-up! When princess Li Leyan kissed her lover at her wedding, the scene froze, turned into a black and white comic book style drawing, with the lips still an inch away … what?! The only legit kissing scenes in this draw are the ones between Li Changge’s maid and her lover. They are still bad compared to Korean drama. But at least, the lips touched.
  • Where did that palace come from? I often think that the Grassland tribes stayed in tents on the grassland. When the evil princess took over the Grassland tribes, she decided to move the capital back to town. Now, it wasn’t clear to me if the town belonged to the Grassland people (more like the previous dynasty’s I suppose) or the Tang dynasty. But it appeared to me that the evil Chinese princess from the previous dynasty who married the Khan’s (plural) in the Grassland still have a well-maintained palace for her to move back to whenever she wanted. Mind you, she hasn’t moved out of Grassland in the last 30 years. Surely, the Tang royal families wouldn’t let the royal families from the previous dynasty still occupy a palace? Or was the town already taken over by the Grassland people? If so, it wasn’t at all clear to me.
  • Finding people in the Central Plain can be so hard and so easy at the same time. Many episodes I have spent watching characters trying to look for Princess Li Leyan and Princess Li Changge, only to see these characters narrowly miss each other. Many times I have seen Li Changge found by characters out of nowhere. It can be so confusing at times.
  • Oh wait, what did I just see or not see? There was a scene where one brother mourned the death of another brother. It was an interior of a tent. The brother poured wine into a small cup, just when he was about to pour the wine onto the floor in memory of his lost brother (who did not die), there was a close-up scene of the cup, as the wine hit the wooden floor in slow motion, the wine splashed at the back of very dramatic music score. The camera zoomed out and wait, where was the wooden floor? All I could see what a thick rug inside the tent where he sat, the rug where the wine would have landed. Cut to the scene of Princess Leyan’s wedding. Her lover’s dad was dying so they wanted a small wedding, with just the two of them and their dads. In the end, the emperor (the princess’s dad) was not in the scene and there was no explanation whatsoever. Did the actor who acted as the emperor take a medical leave that day? Or something lost in translation?
  • Missing scene? There is no closure on the recovered Great Khan. It would have been a moving scene to witness the reunion of Great Khan and his adopted son Ashile Sun. What a missed opportunity.
  • The parallelism is brilliant. Towards the end of the series saw an emergence of a subplot. A princess of the previous dynasty married into Grassland executed a plan 30 years in the making to seek revenge. In one of the ending scenes, standing face-to-face with the evil princess was princess Li Changge. Two princesses separated by one generation experienced similar family pain, one took the path of revenge while one didn’t. The contrast cannot be more impactful, an answer to what-if Li Changge took a different path. In the end, make peace, not war.
I See I Write

If I Could Be A Marvel Superhero, What Would That Be?

People in the past were used to ask me this question a lot, especially during the days when I was actively running my YouTube channel playing the game Marvel Heroes.

As you may know, each superhero comes with unique abilities. There is one hero whom I really want to be. I will get there in just a bit. Let’s talk about fortune-telling for now.

Do I believe in fortune-telling? I tend to think that there are gifted people in this world who can reveal a glimpse of our future. Chinese believes that the future is a secret that has to be kept within the heavens. Those who reveal the secret would have to pay with self-sacrifices depends on how big the secret is. Hence, real and good fortune tellers are often well compensated by their clients.

Is fortune telling a self-fulfilling prophecy? Does that mean that our fate is sealed before we are born? Knowing our future, can we change the course? I will get there in just a bit. Let’s talk about quantum mechanics for now.

The first time I have encountered the topic of quantum mechanics was not from books nor classes. It was during my university days in the UK, my friend Trevor from Hong Kong was obsessed with physics. We would play arcade games, Street Fighters or Mortal Kombat (by that, I meant I watched him playing it). And he would talk about all things physics. We bonded so well that we have decided to cycle from Oxford to Edinburgh together. Side-track to this topic, going on a trip with someone is a true test of a relationship. Unfortunately, the relationship between Trevor and I didn’t survive the trip. We could barely survive day one of our trip.

Quantum physics is a heavy subject. What is relevant to this post is that quantum physics is probabilistic. We can’t predict the outcome. But we can predict the probability of finding each of the particular possible outcomes.

So in my mind, there is no one future but rather, a wide spectrum of futures. Each future has its own probability. In the concept of the multiverse, who knows, we may have to live through each of these futures.

And so, when a fortune-teller shares the secret of the heavens, he or she may refer to the most probable future. For example, one time, I was told that I have two windows of opportunity when it comes to marriage: marry young, marry old. Was there any chance that I could marry somewhere in between young and old or not at all? I guess so. But the fortune-teller must have sensed that it was highly improbable.

I tend to think that our actions today can help to charter towards a future we desired – no guarantee that we will reach there, of course (think quantum mechanics). There are versions of the future that we may not be able to choose, determined by just a toss of a coin. If there is one Marvel superhero I could become, right now, I would like to be Dr. Strange (think Avengers: End Game).

Right now, I not only wish to see my future, but also the probability of each.

I See I Write

realme C17 S$299 (US$225) Smartphone – An Honest Review

Smartphone prices vary a great deal. As of today, it ranges from S$2,888 (US$2,200) for a Samsung Fold2 to Xiaomi Redmi 9A that costs only S$139 (US$100).

A S$299 phone is not exactly a cheap entry level phone. But on paper, it is a pretty decent phone compared to the phones of a similar price point. The full spec is here.

My last phone was an old Samsung Note 8. It broke and the new models are due to be out soon. So I need a phone as a stop-gap measure. Or if it is any good, I could use it for a longer-term. How do I like this realme C17? Read on to find out!

A Chinese made smartphone that on paper is value for money and with good features – realme C17

What I Like

  • High-quality form factor. It doesn’t feel cheap. The box comes with a phone case as well as a screen protector as well that fits very nicely with the phone.
  • 6.5″ screen with a decent screen-to-body ratio (90%).
  • realme UI. I like it a lot, having used Google’s latest UI and Samsung’s. realme UI has a sidebar like Samsung’s, split-screen, etc., and it is easy to organize homepages. Calculator for example floats on top of the app so that you can work out the number without toggling between apps. The OS also comes with tons of features including interesting ones like setting a time to auto power on and/or off the phone.
  • Decent processing power and screen refresh rate. This phone is responsive.
  • Decent battery life with a 5,000mAh battery.
  • Good fingerprint sensor. My fingerprints are kind of faint. It works on a Google Nexus phone and an Apple phone. But it doesn’t work on a Samsung phone or, say, a ThinkPad laptop. It is so good to have a phone that can be unlocked using fingerprint (no more manual bank app log in!).
  • Face biometric. While I am not entirely sure how secured this feature is, the moment I lift up the phone, the screen wakes up and after recognizing my face, the phone is unlocked. It is fast and doesn’t have to position in a certain way. It works from different angles. It even works when I wear a cap (took me two attempts) and a headset with a mic that blocks part of my face. Almost too good to be true.

What Could Be A Deal Breaker For You

Again, read the following in the context that my previous phone is an old Samsung Note 8, which back in its time was a premium product. If you can’t live with some of these observations, you may consider spending a bit more and get a mid-range smartphone instead.

  • There is no notification light. My old Samsung would have a blinking light telling me that there are unread notifications. This would not be terrible but …
  • There is no always-on display either. When the phone is on standby mode, the screen is all black. I.e. no time and date and no notification summary. I end up checking the phone often for potentially missed notifications. There are apps to help. But they are not the same.
  • There is no NFC – near field communication. This means this phone cannot be used for contactless payment. These days, I have to take out my credit card every time I make credit card payments or board public transport.
  • Screen quality is very so-so. It lacks vibrancy. The color seems off.
  • The 13MP quad-camera (4!) is very so-so. The daytime landscape photos lack sharpness and color vibrancy. Nearby subjects are okay. Nighttime photos are too grainy. Ultra macro does work and need only 4cm away from the lens.
  • The 8MP front camera is also very so-so. I tried to use it to take selfie videos. It is substantially worse than my 3-year old Samsung phone.
  • Wireless BlueTooth is not usable. I have tried two different headsets. The conclusion is that the mic keeps on breaking especially when the phone is on Wi-Fi (feedback from those who receive my calls). The music also breaks way more often than my old phone (granted, in crowded places, BlueTooth connectivity can be affected) especially when on Wi-Fi. I have to switch back to a wired headset.
  • There is no way to hide your security pattern while unlocking the phone. People around you can easily see your security pattern. I have switched back to numeric unlock.
  • UI doesn’t work well with apps like Spotify. When playing music through Spotify, the screen wakes up very often and randomly. After some research, this seems like a common issue for realme phones. I have to block Spotify notification, which is a shame. Because it is good to be able to see the widget and control the player without having to unlock the phone and find the app.
  • Audio recording is poor. I am a music creator. While I don’t expect a smartphone to be a high-end audio recording device, the audio recording quality of this phone is way below par. It has got to do with the mic volume being too high and/or a lag of clarity.
Diary I See I Write

A Wine Gathering

M and I are from the same division. He belongs to a program that I am spending half of my time with. And since I am not full time with that program, I am often seen as an affiliate instead. I don’t have a lot of allies in that program. M is a good friend of mine.

One day, M visited my neighborhood and we had lunch at a bakery. He is moving onto another role in our organization and with that comes a promotion. I like the Caucasian mindset. I also like reporting to Caucasians. When it comes to ranks and promotion, the sky is the limit. Reporting to Chinese bosses, the message often would be: be contented with what you have. Indian bosses, the vast majority won’t give a beep about my career. Speaking from someone who has reported to sixteen different bosses in a span of fourteen-ish years in this organization. Though one may say, the time has changed as the world is moving towards better diversity and inclusiveness.

Back to that lunch we had, which was on a Thursday as both of us have to attend a weekly meeting together, M suggested to have a wine event on the 17th with K at his home. The date was perfect as it was the first evening of my 2-week long compliance leave.

It was a 10 mins ride to reach his place. I was late and his friend G working in the fund business was already there. What a posh home! There were paintings from – quoting from him – famous artists and there is one small elephant painting M drew when he was 12. He showed me the cases of silverware he brought from the UK dated back to the 1940s. Those are beautiful. Black handles with small colorful adornment, casually lying on top of each other. “Why not arrange them nicely?”, asked I. M replied that they got reshuffled due to transportation. Still, I would have put each fork and spoon, and utensil in the rightful place. These are antiques! I had the compulsion to do it for him. But I have resisted.

M said that he doesn’t like French people. G agreed. I didn’t say a thing. I used to have a number of French friends when I was working in Paris. Sure, French people, in general, do seem to have their pride and perhaps still wonder why the world adopts English as the international language (I was once told by a French that the world was close to choosing French instead). I can see from the French’s perspective. Especially when their culture is so refined. Fashion. Food. Wine. Art and monuments. In any case, given the history of the British and the French, I can understand the general sentiment.

Later the evening, when I sensed that the topic of the French M and G so passionately deliberated has fainted away, I casually mentioned that I like the sound quality and the design of the “transformer” speaker. A high-end French product sold in MBS mall. To that M was very pleased with his purchase. The speaker can get loud, really loud as he briefly demonstrated.

I am often not a fan of red wine. Last evening changed my mind. We started with a 1.5 liter of Sao Joao’s Quinta do Poco do Lobo Cabernet Sauvignon 1996. It is 24 years old Portugal wine. The age doesn’t make a good wine of course. It depends on the year of the grape. But to have a wine that is still drinkable after such a long period of storage is pretty remarkable. The cock was waxed and the bottle was huge.

Next, we had Artadi’s Pasos de San Martin Garnacha 2015. It was a Spanish wine and I really love that. Then we had Faiveley’s Mercurey Rouge 2017. It was even better! By the time we got to the fourth one, I was about to fall asleep. I didn’t have much, though I remember it as sweet and nice.

Yes, I am terrible in describing wine.

I am not a fan of a large group gathering. My ideal group size is two. Three is okay. By the time K arrived, I got slightly quieter. F then arrived – a great storyteller by the way and also a good friend of mine from that program. The party lit up. I was mainly the observer and spoke when we broke into a smaller group chat. Finally, when G’s friend who is a young teen student (possibly rich Indonesian Chinese) arrived, everyone was animated and liven. By then, I was the audience enjoying the entertainment and the wine.

Throughout the evening, many stories were shared. Stories that I can imagine some may balk at because it is not right. I don’t judge for I am a pragmatic person. The moral compass is a thing that people use to judge others or fear being judged. “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone” is one of my favorite quotes. Throughout the night, I listened with bewilderment. These people have experienced lives in a unique way and they have stories to tell.

“You are quiet”, K asked. I wanted to chip in. But my stories are much darker, more emotional, and personal, which did not suit the theme of physical conquest. Like my friend N once said to me, while I have an alpha male mentality deep inside, I am gentle from the outside.

I smiled to K in return and said nothing.

I love polaroid photo. So retro.