Will I be Ever In Love Again?

I am back again.  After a long silence.  Yes, I have broken up with JP. And I was (still?) feeling very depressed about this.  Oh, love.  Francis phoned me the same day just to check I was okay.  He phoned at 0630 but I did not mind.  At least somebody is care about me.  And I received a few emails concerning about me.

This morning, I found that the bracelet that was given by JP was broken into two.  I take it as a sign.  That is fate.

During this few days, I have watched two movies.  “Jerry Maguire” and “The English Patient”. Both films are good.  I loved “Jerry Maguire”.  That is Tom Cruse and it was so romantic.  That is what I need right now.  Michel invited me for dinner and I meet with that “Doctor” again.  This time we talked about God and soul and life and so on.  Weird?

I don’t think JP and I will ever get together again.  Just another phase of life.  I cannot help feeling depressed but I cannot help but feeling relief as well.  Some days I hoped that she will actually come to Paris and meet me and we will be in love again.  But I know it is just another dream that I am trying to create and will not work.  Sigh.

And I have lost all aim of life.  I am not sure what is my next destination.  I was thinking of going back to university and do a Ph.D.  Why not?  Or I shall ask Toby and get me a job in UK.  I can do just anything now.

Will I be ever in love in the near future?  I just don’t know.  Maybe I shall enjoy a moment of alone.