Sometimes I wonder whether I shall carry on with my relationship with JP. Now, I really can’t see what the future like. Maybe it’s time for me to call it off (rather than a divorce later on). I have been so faithful when I am in Paris and she does not give me a sense of security at all. Never once I threaten to leave her. I have been a passive lover for too long. Far too long. Maybe I am fated to be one loner.
Had an argument with Aurore. Really shouldn’t have done that. I am sure I have hurt her feeling. I tried to make it up during the lunch time but the damage has been done. What happen to me nowadays. I pissed everybody off all of a sudden. Self control, okay?
Today I was totally eccentric. Although my odd behavior seemed to amaze my clients a great deal, I was not happy at all. Just had a phone call with my girlfriend and it was a total disaster. She told me that we had nothing to talk about and so on. She even encouraged me to go and find myself an one-night-stand. How should I feel?
Finally managed to call up Sam. That guy was married last Sunday! And their honeymoon will be from next Thursday. I am really happy for them. I envy them in great deal. Sam told me that he will be back on March 10 and start work at Esso from March 14.
Didn’t have a good sleep to start with, the day was not as good as it was supposed to by. After all, it was Monday. Sophie’s successor has finally arrived, not at all as attractive as Sophie. Don’t think the New Sophie will be able to move the Technical Team to do whatever she wants.
Really fed up with Willie, he was so slow that I really couldn’t stand him. And he just didn’t like to ask and pretended that he understood every single words I said. I bet he didn’t. And Michel was suffering with my Reversal Advice SIR. He wanted a big SIR, I gave him one. Now, he knows how tough life can be. Ha! But it is fun working with Michel.
Had a phone call with JP. Can’t believe that she doubts my faithfulness. Set aside I doubt hers.
What a lousy day.
How come I had this feeling that I will not be able to talk to JP today. Three days, you know. I began to hate this feeling. Still remember one of the night, one guy from the chat asked me that, “Why doesn’t she call tonight?” Though I have been through all this already. Why?
Then I remember how his ex lost her. Now this is frightening.
Mohamed and Claude has been very nice to me. Tonight was Friday night and they accompanied me for a drink. I said I will drink anything and they ordered a beer for me (while they are having a decaf). And they may meet me up tomorrow. I am so touched.
So I had Chinese food and as expected, it was disappointing. The only thing that was good was that I got a chance to speak in Cantonese. That was all. Wanted to catch a show but could not find one good one. Al Pacino’s “Looking for Richard” is out and it is a 3:45 hrs show. Incredible, I may watch it on Sunday instead.
And I began to like talk show. NBC – Jay Leno. I just enjoy it so much. Maybe I begin to grow up!
And another down day. Work was shit. From knowledge transfer down to ordinary bug fix down to serving the users. Yesterday I was complaining that someone should help me with all the bug fix as part of the knowledge transfer. Today I was complaining that I shouldn’t be doing something that what the technical team should be doing.
And guess what? Yesterday I phoned JP and she was not at home. Her mum joked to me that she was having “fun” outside. I phoned her at the office and her colleague told me that “she is meeting someone”. I phoned her once at home and she was not in at 8 pm. Then I phoned again at 10 pm and she was not in either. So what happened to her? I don’t know. But one thing for sure is that I am feeling damn shit.
And with all these shit, I decided to quite smoking. I was a tough experience once again. I was struggling throughout the whole afternoon as I couldn’t find JP. But I didn’t give in. It is a tough battle and I am fighting for my life! I have always a great survivor and I have decided firmly that I have to quit this bad habit once and for all.
Only one thing that made me happy tonight was that they have changed the Pay TV program. And I watched “Phenomenon”. That made me cried. Remember “George Malley”?
Just a few quotes from the show.
“Would u love me for the rest of my life?
No, you don’t love me for the rest of mine.”
“U came here to die, didn’t u ?”
“Everything is on its way to somewhere.”
“And you have to listen to me now, it’s happening. It’s gonna be okay .. It’s okay .. Goodbye honey.”