I am back again. After a long silence. Yes, I have broken up with JP. And I was (still?) feeling very depressed about this. Oh, love. Francis phoned me the same day just to check I was okay. He phoned at 0630 but I did not mind. At least somebody is care about me. And I received a few emails concerning about me.
This morning, I found that the bracelet that was given by JP was broken into two. I take it as a sign. That is fate.
During this few days, I have watched two movies. “Jerry Maguire” and “The English Patient”. Both films are good. I loved “Jerry Maguire”. That is Tom Cruse and it was so romantic. That is what I need right now. Michel invited me for dinner and I meet with that “Doctor” again. This time we talked about God and soul and life and so on. Weird?
I don’t think JP and I will ever get together again. Just another phase of life. I cannot help feeling depressed but I cannot help but feeling relief as well. Some days I hoped that she will actually come to Paris and meet me and we will be in love again. But I know it is just another dream that I am trying to create and will not work. Sigh.
And I have lost all aim of life. I am not sure what is my next destination. I was thinking of going back to university and do a Ph.D. Why not? Or I shall ask Toby and get me a job in UK. I can do just anything now.
Will I be ever in love in the near future? I just don’t know. Maybe I shall enjoy a moment of alone.
Something really goes wrong with Mohamed and he is offending everybody in the office. Just this morning, Michel was trying to talk to Mohamed (in a very angry way I suppose) asking him why he never talked to any body. And asked if he had done any wrong. Finally he said that he couldn’t work in this office anymore. I really didn’t know what to say but tried to keep quiet.
Wherever I go, I seem to be able to bring joy to people around me. Today, Aurore was laughing in tears. But me? I believe in joy depletion. On the surface, I may seem very joyful but deep inside, well …
SIR progress was going so well and I am so happy.
Tonight, I went to Michel’s place for dinner. His brother (John) and sister-in-law (Diane) was there and one of his friend (Ariane) was there too. John is a painter and he was showing us all the photos of his great work. Got to say that guy is artistic and we went on and on about inspiration. They have a dog as well. One day I may convert into a dog lover. But one thing about dogs is, it can be very frustrating as their intelligent level is very limited.
And Ariane, that guy is unbelievable. He is actually a PHD holder and he is now working as a geologist. And during his university life, he was studying Martian Volcano through satellite images. Wow! And he believes that their will not be any life form beyond Earth. He said that we will not be able to find any life as our perception on life. Interesting thought.