Up There Where We Belong

Today is a high.  It is like a happy ending to part one.  After weeks of struggle with the functional specification, we have finally obtained a signoff.  It is like a gift from heaven.  Even I find it hard to believe.  Not only have we obtained a signoff for the functional specification, we have got six signoffs for the storyboard.  Not one, two, but six!

Today I have finally made an online purchase with Amazon.com after locating the Oxford’s Advanced Learner’s Dictionary CD-ROM.  Not just have I bought the dictionary, I have bought three books from Ann Rice.  These are the books that I cannot find in Singapore and these are the books that probably cannot get through the tough censorship.

To round up the day, Tong Kiat, Sing Chyun, and I watched a hilarious movie at Orchard.

Physical: 0.00
Emotional: -0.90
Mental: 0.28

Movie: Ali G Indahouse

Daydream

Today is definitely a day of daydreaming.  The thought and the possibility of leaving this company to join another one are intoxicating.  In my mind, I have already planned out the entire serious of events: the lunch interview, the negotiation (if any), the drafting of the letter of resignation, the breaking of news to Choong Yong (difficult and personal), the breaking of news to Peng Yong (easy and business), the last four weeks with my beloved project team, and the breaking of news to this team of mine (tears and hugs).  I find it impossible to focus without thinking too far ahead.

This morning, I have come to the realization what I love to do best – to work in an environment full of crisis.  What I then do is to go in, put the house in order, and then go off.  Now that the project is stabilizing and most of the unknowns have been taken off the equation, the project is turning a little bit plain to me.  Probably because I feel much needed when things go wrong.  When the weather is good, I feel redundant.  Therefore, time for me to go into coding, time for me to sharpen up my technical skills.

Physical: -0.27
Emotional: -0.97
Mental: 0.46

A Day of Being Alone

When I woke up this morning, I had a feeling that Francis would call off our lunch appointment and true enough, he did.  Next, I SMS Choong Yong for lunch and he was on leave spending a day with his mother because today is her birthday.  Getting desperate, I walked over to Arnaud’s workplace and he reluctantly rejected me because of prior arrangement with his friends.  My subconscious mind told me to stop there and then so I did not ask Spenser, the guy who sits next to me and he always frowns.  Fortunately I did not humiliate myself with the forth rejection because after I got back from my brief sandwich break, Spenser was still at his workplace planning to grab for a short lunch before heading off to somewhere.

In fact, I should have called Robert out for lunch.  That would have solved my problem.  I remembered him because he called me up after lunch while I was on my way to collect my car.  Bad news.  He has crashed his Lexus with guess what?  Another Lexus.  Poor guy.  It is a brand new car.  Accidents happen, for no reason.  That is why it is called accident.

Physical: -0.52
Emotional: -1.00
Mental: 0.62

CD: Meja – My Best
CD: Jennifer Paige – Positively Somewhere

Going Through the Storeroom

I have no idea why of all days I choose today to resume writing diary.  Back in 97/98 when I was alone in Paris, I faithfully wrote down all my encounters and feelings everyday.  To be honest, I hardly have the courage and patience to read through all that I have written in the past.  I need courage because most of these writings contain ghosts of the past.  Is it necessary to literally read the past in order to deduce that I have indeed grown up?  Today I have timed my reading speed.  Let’s say each day I faithfully churn out one page of diary that is equivalent to the length of a page of any good novel, reading a year worth of diary requires me to sit still for eighteen hours and fifteen minutes.  That is to provide that the material is a good read.

So why do I start writing diary again?  Maybe it is because nowadays I have more time on my own.  Especially when my wife is now working in the neighboring country.  Or maybe I sense that I am now at this juncture, a juncture that will be full of memorable events.  Rather than letting them evaporated like my Mauritius episode, this time, I wish to encode all these so-to-be historical events into digital bits – ones and zeroes.  And hopefully, by the time I retrieve my digital journal and read in the distant future, Microsoft Word still exists.

Big question: What have I done today?  Started reading the “Prozac Nation”, sped on the highway just to arrive at the airport 8 minutes before the counter closed (all because of my brilliant idea of stopping by Orchard and have dinner at Nooch), returned home and dug through all my CD backups to feed on the fragmented memories.

Looking at my emotional line, no doubt I am quite down today.  And the classical music does not help.

Physical: -0.73
Emotional: -0.97
Mental: 0.76