The Game Of Love

You know how it is like when you live through a certain stage of your life or pass a certain age, you don’t experience certain things in life anymore. Like the frustration of finding love, the thrill of falling in love, the insecurity of being in love, the worry of falling out of love, and the heartache and the path of self-destruction in the name of love. Thereafter, the road to recovery, trying so very hard not to think of the one, hardly any effort to forget someone until it has turned into a story of melancholy. You begin to forget the face, the scent, the touch, even the tone of the voice. It is as though all that you have gone through is relegated into nothingness.

So what’s the point?

I guess, it is the love experience and the journey that counts.

So for someone like me who has lived through a certain stage of my life, passed a certain age, I don’t get to experience the game of love anymore.

Except of course, when in a dream.

I had a dream last night. A vivid one. One that I can remember most of the story and especially from beginning to end.

There was this girl. Petit and fair. Not the pretty type. Certainly charming with her eccentric attitude. My dream character (a.k.a me) and she had become close. Since she was popular, she had many admirers. Now, I was rather casual as I did not think I had a shot. She has this aura that made me felt that she was into me. For all I knew, she could have this aura turned on for all the guys around her. Or to the least, the guys she wanted to attract.

We hang out. In parties. And in a casual setting. Most of the time, we were not alone. There were others. But she or rather we often found ways to have moments of light intimacy. Like the brushing of our hands. The occasional locking of eyes. That exchange of a secret smile. At one stage, I vividly remembered that I was in love. I looked forward to seeing her. I felt happy when we were together. Down when we were not.

Somewhere somehow like how most love stories unfold, the relationship had gone down south. Perhaps she was tired of me. Perhaps she was toying with my feeling. I had no idea. It was the classic case of a crash and burn. The sadness was overwhelming. The heartache was so intense that I must have woken up in the middle of the night.

Because there was a cut scene to the time I was supposed to have healed. Years later it must have been. There was this very old car that I drove. The same car that we were used to having when the girl and I were together. In my dream, I have revisited the places we have been to. I must have tried to regain some of the lost memories. No one wants to lose the entire journey experience just because of a bad heartbreak.

It was a school. Perhaps. And I met the new students there. A canteen. A large roundabout at the lobby. It was at night. I observed the sky with the new students. Such peace. The open sky. I could not help but wonder, where was the girl and how had she been? She had faded in my mind, a great deal.

The night was late and I was lying comfortably on a mat with three other students. Two guys and two girls. And we were chatting casually. The girls were in skimpy dresses. All of a sudden, one of the girls had started to … and I gasped …

I guess that was the time when things got erotic in my dream. In real life though, my wife has woken me up asking me what’s for breakfast.

My wife has impeccable timing.

This Year’s Easter Weekend

When people ask me what my plan is for the Easter long weekend, I can’t help but think that they are expecting some sort of exotic answers. Like getting out of town, hiking, movies, parties and more parties. While my wife and I have indeed watched a movie – The Fast and the Furious 8 – as Catholics, we spend time going to Church over the weekend.

Good Friday, it rained heavily. Our car barely made it out of estate when my wife Cynthia cringing in pain. So we made a U-turn and headed back to our condo. I dropped her off at our lobby and drove to Church after knowing that it was not a matter of emergency.

By the time I have reached the Church – pretty early in normal circumstances but Good Friday is by no means normal – it was packed. I managed to find a seat in the front row. This Mass participation was for me and for my wife. I can always pray for my wife too.

Station of the Cross

Easter Sunday, we have made it to the evening Mass. Father Mike was not the celebrant. Another Indian Priest instead. This Priest is good. He speaks with conviction and clarity. During the homily, he spoke of the presence of the Rising Christ. Since almost none of us have met Jesus in real life, it is really all down to faith. Having said that, where can we sense the presence of Jesus?

First is the Bible, which is a no-brainer. Second, is the Communion – one of the reasons why we have to go to Church at least every Sunday. Third, is the community because when two or more gather in His name, He is with us.

In the theme of Easter, the Priest talked about the three P’s too. First is Peace, the single most important tool to counter life’s ongoing challenges. Second, is not punishment – ha! – but power. The power of mercy so as to forgive. Third, is to proclaim Christ.

So there you have it. This is how my wife and I have spent the long weekend. At least the more significant bits.

 

Different Types Of Friends As You Leave Your Workplace To Another

When you are young in your career, it is easy to make work becomes you. As though consciously or subconsciously, work is the single most important thing in life. Over time, you may find your balance. And recognize that workplace is just an entity. Your boss doesn’t own you a living. Neither do you own him or her your life.

With the amount of time we spend at work, inevitably we make friends. Or at least be friendly to others. We talk about our weekends, our overseas families that visit us, the joy – wedding, childbirth, or promotion – and the sadness – aging parents, a sick child, or health issues. We talk about our “friends” at work. We talk about our “enemies” at work. Enemies become friends (less likely). Friends become enemies (more likely). A workplace can be fun (less likely). Or it can be toxic (more likely). Most of us could probably write a book about work than writing about what happens after work, though I sincerely hope not.

Eventually, one leaves from one workplace to another. This is where I have come to the realization that besides those whom I don’t care about and those who likewise don’t care about me in my day-to-day work and beyond, there are different types of friends as I leave one workplace to another.

Type I. Friends who no longer talk and are turning into strangers.

People can be nice to each other thanks to the work environment. We find topics to talk about that are largely work related. We need each other at work. We have common goals. Outside of this environment, there really isn’t anything worth catching up on. So when separated, there is hardly any reason to be friends.

I suppose most of my colleagues at work would fall under this category.

Type II. Friends who continue talking with me most likely they still need something from me in near future.

While no one is indispensable at work, when one leaves, someone else would need to take over. It is hard to say whether or not that someone would continue befriending me when I am of no value to him or her in near future.

Pessimistically or realistically, type II can become type I. Or it can become type III.

Type III. Friends who become friends for real.

I have worked for more than two decades. I can say with conviction that I do come across people whom I have got to know at a workplace and we keep in touch after we parted. In fact, many of my best friends in life were once upon a time my colleagues.

When you come across type III friends, count your blessing. Hold onto them and stay in touch. Time works both ways. It can grow friendship; it can also kill friendship.

Photographs from Our Holiday in Taipei (2017)

So I did it! I have managed to processed all the photographs taken during our trip to Taipei within three days of return. That is a feat of discipline. I still have years old albums unprocessed, waiting to see the day of light. With more and more different shapes and forms of distraction we have in our daily life, it is getting harder to focus on to something and get it done. This change of mine is so positive that I am feeling the energy. Next, I would like to memorize some quotes from Romeo & Juliet so that I can pen down something artistically intelligent in public without referring to the Internet. It is a long story for another day.

This is me in Shifen, Taipei - a photo taken by my wife Cynthia.

My wife and I have spent six nights in Taipei. We stayed in Mandarin Oriental for three nights. Then we stayed in Our Home 187 in Jiufen for two nights. Finally, stayed in Mandarin Oriental for another night. I brought along my Nikon D700 as well as my two lenses – Nikkor 24-70mm f2.4 and Nikkor 70-200mm f2.4. Pretty heavy stuff but it was worth it. Especially the long lens for photographing the animals in Taipei Zoo. I always love the results from my Nikkor 70-200mm anyway, even for the portrait. Photo albums as follows.

In addition, I have also taken some pictures using my Nexus 5x. The quality is not as good. But at times, the phone camera serves its purpose to add context to short journals. Links to the entries as follows.

A Sense Of Surrealism When Life Seems To Have Bottomed Out

The past one month or so was terrible. Early last month, it was on the 10th when I had planned to spend the Friday shopping for a Valentine’s Day gift for my wife. Something suddenly struck my life’s trajectory like a meteor hits a planet. Instead, I ended up eating one of the saddest lunches ever in a food court at VivoCity and did not have the mood to do anything else. The Vietnam beef noodle was horrible. No spice nor fragrance . Just salt and water with some tasteless slices of overcooked or reheated beef. As for dinner, I thought nothing could go wrong with my comfort food at Asia Square. That burrito was one of the saddest burritos I have ever tasted. The guacamole that was supposed to be inside was unceremoniously squeezed out from the wrap in the process of being wrapped up with the aluminum foil. I really wanted to ask the girl to make another one. Why didn’t I?

Taken from 9th floor of MBFC

Looking back, it has been a really tough year. In fact, this rather challenging time has lasted for a good few years. Issues with my neighbors. Massive lack of sleep. Some really personal matters that are family related. On top of all these, there is work.

Good news is that last Friday something has struck my life like the first cells first created in a barren planet.

Like all things in my life, everything is so last minute but yet the timing is so good. Great stuff. Time to evolve, once again.

When People Around You Keep On Killing Your Passion And Dream

Peter is twelve years old. He enjoys playing basketball. In fact, he is pretty good at it. A star no less. Peter loves the sport partly due to his passion, partly due to a wonderful coach he has that recognizes his talent, knows his weaknesses, and has a good gauge of his potential. Peter likes his teammates too. When all the positive ingredients come together, Peter has a dream. To play leagues and who knows, one day Peter may represent his country in an international arena doing what he loves to do the most, with people whom he enjoys hanging out with, and with people who believe in him.

All these set to change when a new coach comes on board together with new teammates. The chemistry is not quite there. Instead of being guided to where he excels, Peter’s weaknesses get amplified. It is suffocating. Everywhere he goes, Peter meets with obstacles. Every challenge unconquered dims his passion a little bit. Soon, Peter has become a liability to his basketball team. There is only that much Peter can do to keep himself motivated, to practice day after day. But basketball is a team sport. Ultimately, the entire ordeal kills his dream. It is time to move on.

Does this sound familiar to you? In life, be blessed when you are surrounded by people who are willing to groom you to be better. People who are supportive of your passion and dream. People who believe in you. We can’t change the world. And when we fail to influence the people around us to work with our passion and dream – no fault of either party – moving on could be a good option. In fact, in life, it could well be the only option.

Marvel Heroes Video Guides 2.0

Hello Marvel Heroes fans,

I have been playing this free-to-play ARPG game since closed beta, March 2013, and have clocked in thousands of played hours. I enjoy creating YouTube video guides for this game. Click here for a list of videos I have made prior to patch 2.0.

I am starting a new era with this “biggest update ever”. And hence this new post. This list may look short now. But I promise, with your support and encouragement and your help in spreading the words, it will grow.

Ask me anything. Drop me a comment on my YouTube channel. I will try to answer. May Odin bless you!

Yours,
Wilfrid (in-game ID is “Lace”) – a fellow Marvel Heroes fan.

Dimension Collide - the best terminal design ever.
Dimension Collide – the best terminal design ever.

Hero Guides

Post patch 2.0 videos.

Game Guides

Some of these videos are pre-patch 2.0 but by and large, still relevant.

Q&A – “Let’s Play” Videos

I play the game, also talk about the game, answering some of your questions.

Test Center Edition

Videos recorded from the test center, all subjected to change.

Day 03/04 Stay Home Holiday – My Good Heart

On the day Trump shocked the world, I was watching the US election on TV while waiting for yet another treadmill test to be conducted in yet another health clinic. My first test a month ago has shown some abnormal ECG pattern. The pattern tells a story. A borderline possibility that insufficient oxygen level is delivered to my heart. Now, that was not a very good news and as you can imagine, it has affected me, emotionally speaking. I will get to that in just a bit.

After a week’s waiting, I saw the doctor who has conducted part of the initial health screening so that he could read out the report to me (with some added flavors). He then referred me to a cardiologist who sent me to another health clinic so as to do another treadmill test. This time with the ultrasound heart scan before and after the test. The health clinic then generated another report on the spot. I hand-delivered that report to my cardiologist on the same day right after my scan so that he could read it to me (with some added flavors). I cannot imagine the amount of money involved with so many parties, so much time.

Before my treadmill test, I swam in the morning. Even as I tried to adjust my swimming style, Garmin swimming app is just not working out at all for me.
Before my treadmill test, I swam in the morning. Even as I tried to adjust my swimming style, Garmin swimming app is just not working out at all for me.
A giant Cinderella has dropped her shoe at Orchard Gateway.
A giant Cinderella has dropped her shoe at Orchard Gateway. I took this photo on the way to the health clinic.

The last time I did the treadmill test I had been fasting for 12 hours. Also, I was pretty unfit. This time round, I came prepared. I was able to complete 5 stages with my heart rate exceeding 100% of my maximum based on my age. My body wanted to give up 2 minutes before the end of stage 5. I think the last 30 seconds was the hardest part of the run. It was mind over body.

In the end, it did not matter. The ECG was still borderline abnormal. But the heart scan before and after the run was fine. Hence, it is case closed: false positive.

To celebrate the false positive, I have decided to have some tea in my favorite cafe called Paul. I love the coffee there. But the service was really terrible. I was mocked by the waiter just because I really couldn't understand his accent.
To celebrate the false positive, I have decided to have some tea in my favorite cafe called Paul. I love the coffee there. But the service was really terrible. I was mocked by the waiter just because I really couldn’t understand his accent.
Knowing my heart is OK, that did not stop me from continue being active. I walked from Orchard back to down town area. This time round, I took a shorter route and the trip lasted 45 minutes instead. 5 minutes quicker than yesterday.
Knowing my heart is OK, that did not stop me from continue being active. I walked from Orchard back to Down Town area. This time round, I took a shorter route and the trip lasted 45 minutes instead. 5 minutes quicker than yesterday.

This experience has taught me a few things.

  • Health is indeed wealth.
  • I can’t imagine what it is like for those who are living with heart diseases. The constant worry that at any time, the heart may fail.
  • While it is impossible to live a stress-free life, try not to stress up people around you. This applies to work and life and anything in between as well.
  • I have become more active. I actually feel good. In fact, I feel much better.
  • Whatever measured get managed. I should have invested on a wearable that comes with a heart rate monitor a long time ago.

The next day, I felt like a new man. All of a sudden, I felt like making some new shirts. So I paid my tailors at CYC Raffle Hotel a visit after dropping my wife at work.

I always get lost when I am inside Raffle Hotel.
I always get lost when I am inside Raffle Hotel.

I could go for the cheaper fabrics like I often do. Or I could go for the latest collection, which could be as much as 40% more expensive. I could also opt for some of the add-ons like solid color collar inlays and brackets to make the shirts looking even more fantastic. At work, some people often add stress to me reminding that I am a director so that I need to do more, much more. Since I am a director, I really ought to buy some better quality shirts so as to at least look like one.

Due to all these irrational rationalizations, I have spent more than S$1,000 for 6 shirts. To continue my spending spree, I met up with my old friend Robert for lunch at Asia Square and have spent more than S$18 on a Mexican fast food meal.

Every time I had that burrito and that Mexican guava drink, I would say to myself: no way I will eat this again, so expensive. But I keep going back for more. That burriot and that Mexican guava drink has become my comfort food.

The Pacific Tourist by Maki Hayashida from Japan displayed outside national library. I am not entirely sure why these pictures have to be hung by a container.
The Pacific Tourist by Maki Hayashida from Japan displayed outside national library. I am not entirely sure why these pictures have to be hung by a container.

Day 02 Stay Home Holiday – Walking and Swimming in the Sun

Last night, while I was blogging, my wife played World of Warcraft. When I was done blogging, she watched a Turkish TV-series called Magnificent Century. It is about a Christian slave girl being sold to the Ottoman Empire and has got the Sultan falling in love with her. The slave girl looks very much like a younger version of Drew Barrymore. In another word, while my wife distracted my blogging with World of Warcraft, she too has distracted my Path of Exile gaming with a very interesting TV-series.

Like she is now distracting my blogging with Magnificent Century.

Magnificent Century - A very interesting Turkish TV-series.
Magnificent Century – A very interesting Turkish TV-series.

09.15

After dropping my wife at her office, I returned home, made myself a cup of coffee wanting to start my study for the project management profession exam. I took a look at the book that is as thick as a phone book. I gave up and have decided to record a video for the game Path of Exile instead.

My fourth video on Path of Exile. This is becoming a habit.
My fourth video on Path of Exile. This is becoming a habit.

10:30

I really ought to study. I have almost completed chapter 3. I got to the last page of the chapter and remembered that I have to memorize 47 or so processes. I closed the book and moved onto my next agenda.

11:30

Time to leave home as I have a health specialist appointment at two in the afternoon. My plan was to drop my car at my rental parking lot in town and take a train to Orchard. Lunch at Somerset 313’s food court (a rather uptown shopping mall) was good. My favorite Vietnamese stall is gone, together with HMV downstairs. I found a nice Japanese stall instead, which seems to be run by a Japanese. I had fried Mackerel with rice. It was yummy.

And I took some photos while I was killing time crawling from malls to malls.

Christmas decoration and shopping starts very early here in Singapore.
Christmas decoration and shopping starts very early here in Singapore.
Really ... who invented teddy bears?!
Really … who invented teddy bears?!

14:15

After my appointment, I have a decision to make. I could take the train back to the car. Or I could walk.

Just that, the whole journey would be close to five kilometers under a very warm sun with a pair of shoes that were not fit for walking long distance.

But hey. How could I pass out an opportunity to do some outdoor activities while I am not working?

Walking from Orchard to Marina Bay too me close to an hour!
Walking from Orchard to Marina Bay took me close to an hour!

16:30

I am home! I could study. Or …

… I could swim! I have tried a different way in my swimming approach hoping that my not-so-smart Garmin wearable vivoactivity HR could automatically detect my laps perfectly.

Of course, I could only dream.

Garmin wearable / swimming app continues to be unusable. If my breaststroke could have a peace of 0.51 min/100m, I must have been a mutant or something.
Garmin wearable / swimming app continues to be unusable. If my breaststroke could have a peace of 0.51 min/100m …

17:45

One of my favorite games Marvel Heroes has a special announcement. I have got to work on my next video!

18:00

Tonight’s dinner was stir fry chicken breast slices with green and red peppers, boiled green vegetable, and brown rice. I love cooking. It is therapeutic.

20:30

After dinner, time to continue working on my next video! I like making videos on announcement related topics (one hour or so together with recording). It does not take too long to work out the materials. I really hope that it will be useful for the fans of the game.

My latest video on Marvel Heroes. Wow. Two videos in one day.
My latest video on Marvel Heroes. Wow. Two videos in one day.

23:00

It took me one and half hour to write this blog entry. Time now is 11 pm. And I blame Magnificent Century. Men are really not good at multi-tasking.

 

 

Day 01 Stay Home Holiday – A Super Active Day

In my current line of work, once a year I have got to take a two weeks long holiday. Normally, my wife and I would take a long haul flight to somewhere far as tourists. This year round, Cynthia has changed job, I have a project management professional exam to prepare, and we want to save some money. So I am staying put in Singapore for the first week of my holiday. Next week, my wife will join me.

07.00

I woke up like every other working day. Except, today is day one of my holiday! During my shower, I overheard my wife gasped and groaned loudly from the kitchen. My guess would be that she has once again made a mess while juicing vegetables and fruits. I could imagine juice all over the tabletop dripping onto the floor. Actually, all I wanted was to give her a hug. My wife is not a morning people. Yet she pulls herself out from the bed every other morning to make healthy breakfast for the two of us. As it turns out, there was a bit of a mess. I took over the washing after my shower relieving her for her daily routine.

09:30

After dropping my wife at work, I was back at home. Time to swim! As I am becoming more active these days – all thanks to this Garmin wearable watch that tracks heart rate among other things (which is mostly pretty dumb) – I managed to swim rather intensively for half an hour non-stop. I was looking forward to collecting some good data through my smart watch. Then again, my Garmin wearable watch fails me like before. I reckon if I was a professional swimmer, this watch would have automatically counted my lap time nicely. But I am not. Never will be. I have got to figure out a way on how to swim so that the watch can figure out what I do.

The swimming stats coming from this Garmin wearable watch and Garmin Connect is just disappointing. An undergraduate could easily program something much better by either removing out-liners and/or auto-combine/split lap times.
The swimming stats coming from this Garmin wearable watch and Garmin Connect is just disappointing. An undergraduate could easily program something much better by either removing out-liners and/or auto-combine/split lap times.

11:00

My plan after my swim was to make some French toast. The eggs were beautifully beaten; four slides of bread were trimmed; the coffee machine was ready. Just as I was soaking the bread onto the egg mixture, I saw some green mold on the bread. Now, that was disappointing. Perhaps I should have an early lunch instead.

I could take the car. Or I could walk. It is a 1.6 km walk from my home to the nearest food court. Why not exercise more?

It was drizzling so I brought along an umbrella. The walk to the market was pleasant. Overcast with fresh breeze. The food options were pretty meh though. Mostly unhealthy stuffs. I had black chicken herbal soup with cabbage rice – the healthiest food I could find in the food court. The chicken was prepared with its skin intact. And the cabbage rice was cooked together with thin strips of pork belly (which regretfully, I only discovered the latter as I was halfway through my meal). Not entirely healthy stuff.

By being active means that I would need more food intake. So I bought some banana from the wet market. The shopkeeper asked what sort of bananas I would want. There were so many types of bananas. Different shapes, different colors (one was muddy brown in color!). He asked if I wanted to fry them. I said I just want to eat them raw.

I bought some buns too as I plan to have some tea break with my wife this evening.

On the way back, I took a different route. It was a 2 km walk instead. The sun was up. With the rain, humidity shot up the sky.

A road less traveled (by me).
A road less traveled (by me).

12:30

After yet another shower, it is time to study! I made myself a cup of Nespresso all ready to prepare for my project management professional exam.

I barely survived the first chapter when I needed a nap.

13:00

So, nap I should.

14:00

I felt great! Time was running out though. There were so much to do today. I wanted to continue my study. But the material is really boring. So I checked out my YouTube channel and replied to friends’ comments. Yesterday I have published a video about our 16th wedding anniversary. Oh yes. Time flies.

15:00

I should study for real. I managed to finish up to chapter two. Very much common sense materials, so far.

15:30

It is music time! I miss playing music. My Filipino neighbors downstairs are super noisy from time to time. They love to sing karaoke. We could vividly hear all the notes and screaming. Well, guess what? I too used to jam. I could be pretty loud too! Except, there ain’t many in this world who have heard of or even like what I play. Because I write my songs. There is a saying in Singapore. If you can’t win them, join them. Good luck consuming my work-in-progress music /grin.

A simple setup of a mic and a guitar through an acoustic amp. It took me a while to set this up as I was out of practice.
A simple setup of a mic and a guitar through an acoustic amp. It took me a while to set this up as I was out of practice.

16:15

I have got to stop whatever I was doing (i.e. jamming) and start preparing for dinner. Tonight was chicken soup cooked with chayote. I have already deboned two chickens over the weekend. This soup was prepared with two chicken carcasses and two chicken thighs and drumsticks. Skinned.

After the dish was all set inside my pressure cooker, I continued jamming till 17:30. I had no idea that playing music can be a good workout to the heart too!

Playing music can be a good workout to the heart!
Playing music can be a good workout to the heart!

17:30

Time to leave my apartment and pick up Cynthia at work.

18:45

Home sweet home and dinner was at seven. The soup was delicious. We expected no less /smile.

20:00

Time to blog. My wife is now playing World of Warcraft with her level 85 Undead Warrior. This is very distracting.

This is my wife's level 85 (or rather 86) Undead Warrior.
This is my wife’s level 85 (or rather 86) Undead Warrior.