I am back again. After a long silence. Yes, I have broken up with JP. And I was (still?) feeling very depressed about this. Oh, love. Francis phoned me the same day just to check I was okay. He phoned at 0630 but I did not mind. At least somebody is care about me. And I received a few emails concerning about me.
This morning, I found that the bracelet that was given by JP was broken into two. I take it as a sign. That is fate.
During this few days, I have watched two movies. “Jerry Maguire” and “The English Patient”. Both films are good. I loved “Jerry Maguire”. That is Tom Cruse and it was so romantic. That is what I need right now. Michel invited me for dinner and I meet with that “Doctor” again. This time we talked about God and soul and life and so on. Weird?
I don’t think JP and I will ever get together again. Just another phase of life. I cannot help feeling depressed but I cannot help but feeling relief as well. Some days I hoped that she will actually come to Paris and meet me and we will be in love again. But I know it is just another dream that I am trying to create and will not work. Sigh.
And I have lost all aim of life. I am not sure what is my next destination. I was thinking of going back to university and do a Ph.D. Why not? Or I shall ask Toby and get me a job in UK. I can do just anything now.
Will I be ever in love in the near future? I just don’t know. Maybe I shall enjoy a moment of alone.