Mad Cow (2) – C’est Toi?

Holy cow, you’re still with me. So I guess you DO care about Cows. Where was I ? Ah I remember. It was the Historical Cow Meeting, wasn’t it ? And now I am going to Bull-Shit you with the lyrics Ive got. Sit back and eNjoy.

Cow A = Cow Major : Wo-cow and Gentle-cow, may I preseNt Cow NapoleoN from FraNce. He is THE greatest scien-cow-tist ever lived in Cowkind.

(Seem to me that unlike the British and the French, British Cows and French Cows never hate each other. In fact, the French Cows sympathize and respect the British Cows as they believe that the British Cow travel all the way to France to die. To die for them, of course. A common jokes between Cows : You can never find a walking French Cow who is born in British – as the nationality of Cows lies on where they are slaughtered)

Other Cows : (Silence)
Cow Napoleon : Mercy Cow Major. Holy Cow !
Other Cows : Nnnnng Nnnnng Nnnnng Nnnnng …..

(Although Cow Napoleon is from France, according to history, French Cows never adapt French Language into Cowish. The reason is simply they find the letter ‘R’ too tough to pronounce. To roll the tongue backward is still manageable but ask them to vibrate their throats like no tomorrow, no way. Therefore, instead of merci, we have mercy)

Cow Napoleon : To puNish maNkiNd, I proudly preseNt the one and only M-C-D.

Stupid Cow #1 : What, you meaN Man-Capturing-Device ?

Cow Napoleon (shocked) : You idiot ! What for ? Woc are vegetariaN. Woc doN’t eat meat.

Stupid Cow #2 : I kNow, that must be a Man-2-Cow-Discussion.

Cow Napoleon (head shake with dismay) : No woNder woc are doomed to be eateN for so maNy ceNturies. Because woc have so maNy like you.

Stupid Cow #3 : It has to be Mission-C’est-Dangerous.

Cow Napoleon (ignored the answer) : After years of research, we have come across a “substance” that is fatal but differeNt from Virus. Not like AIDS, people get it every time they mate. No no, woc do not wish to kill those human-vegetarians, do woc ? It is the Mad Cow Disease !! The hope of today ! The hope of tomorrow.

Other Cows (loudly) : Nnnnng Nnnnng Nnnnng Nnnnng ….

Cow Major (nodded his head) :Yes, it is the Mad Cow Disease. It is a conspiracy between our kiNd and sheep. Together we establish a Sure-Win Strategy. It is a revolutioN !

Other Cows : RevolutioN ! RevolutioN ! ReeeevoluuuuutioNNNNNNNNNN !

Hence, a revolution started by the British Cows.

So they have decided to launch the new weapon – Mad Cow Disease. This has been launched, of course, quite a few years from now. This is the finest plan ever exist in the Cow history. But what they do not think of, is the result of massacre which widely happened in Europe. Many Cows, who did not signed up for MCD, were being send to the furnace as well. They all burnt to death (one way or another). But what difference does it make ? Either they die to feed the Man or they die for their further generations. The most noble and respectable move by Cowkind. Biggest and probably the most meaningful Holy War raised by the Cows. A lesson that we must not forget. Cows are not vegetable. We cannot just grow them and eat them. Think twice before you order beef next time.

THE END

[Music # 1]

Title : Hungry Man (Not “Lemon Tree” !!)
Melody : As copied by Fools Garden and they named the song “Lemon Tree”

Nggg Nggg Nggg Nggg Nggg Dinggggg

We’re siting here under the boring sun. We’re eating eating eating eating eating the grass.
Never know what tomorrow will be. We wake up everyday and eat the grass.
And nothing ever happen, and we wonder.

Nggg Nggg Nggg Nggg Nggg Dinggggg

We wonder when, we wonder why. Yesterday we still saw the blue blue sky and all that we can see, we’re hanging in the market place. They put a bullet into my head, they cut me cut me cut me cut me cut me up and all that we can see, we’re hanging in the market place.

Nggg Nggg Nggg Nggg Nggg Dinggggg

We’re standing here inside the boring train. We’ve got no food no water and no place to sit.
No one hear our point of view. We’re far too weak to even Ngggg Ngggg Ngggg.
And somethings going to happen, and we wonder.

Nggg Nggg Nggg Nggg Nggg Dinggggg

We never get old, we always die young. Yesterday we dreamt about the green green scene and all that we can see is all the hungry ugly men. We turning our head up and down, jumping jumping jumping jumping jumping around, and all that we can see

Dingggg Dingggg Dingggg

And all that WE can see

Dingggg Dingggg Dingggg

And all the we can see. Its just another hungry man.

(I think the original version is a lot more meaningful than the “Lemon Tree”. It has more feelings and more meanings. If you do read the lyrics of the copied version, you will understand what I mean. I overheard this song when I was with a group of Cows.)

[Music # 2]

Title : Wannabe
Melody : Yes ! That is the one similar to the one sing by Spice Girls and The Spice Girls version is the number one hit all over the world. Make you really wonder how much has Cow contributed to our society.

Cow #1 : Soooooooo, tell me what you want, what you really really want.
Cow #2 : And tell me what you want, what you really really want.
Cow #1 and Cow #2 : I want to (eat!) I want to (eat!) I want to (eat!) I want to (really really really really really say aaaaaaah)

Cow #3 : If you want my BODY, forget our past.
Cow #4 : If you want to eat with me, there’ll be no beef.
Cow #5 : Life won’t go wasted, without our meat.
Cow #3 : If you want to stay with me you must eat grass.

Cow #1 : Soooooo, come with me and sit with me. If you befriend with me, you better listen carefully.
Cow #3 : Come with me and see my BODY.
Cow #4 : Come with me and feel my BODY.
Cow #5 : Come with me don’t eat my BODY.

Cow #1 : Soooooooo, tell me what you want, what you really really want.
Cow #2 : And tell me what you want, what you really really want.
Cow #1 and Cow #2 : There’ll be no (steak!) There’ll be no (burger!) There’ll be no (beef!) There’ll be no (really really really really really say aaaaaaah)

Thank you for your attention. You are free to distribute this valuable message to anywhere in the world but must include my Virtual E-mail address as I am the first one who is insane enough to discover that some Cows are indeed telepathic. Also, you must stress the point that we shall see Cows as living beings. Not just beef.

Holy Cow,
Wilf.insane @ virtual.reality

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